By If you’re unsure what this whole “Holidroid Contest” thing is all about, be prepared to get excited. From November 24th through December 25th, Phandroid is giving away a Kindle Fire every single day along with other great prizes like the Galaxy Nexus Galaxy Tabs, JAMBOX, SmarTouch Gloves, Android Phones, Android T-Shirts, Seidio Vouchers and more. Read our announcement post for details.
Yesterday’s Winner
Still don’t believe we are giving away all of this amazing swag? Maybe you will want to check with yesterday’s winner, Philip Maio, who followed our contest directions to the ‘T’ and sent us this hilarious image involving a spoon, a stop sign, and his bare foot. You didn’t think you wouldn’t have to work for some of these prizes, did you?
But you were wondering about what you could win today…
Amazon Kindle Fire
The Kindle Fire could be this holiday’s hottest product: at only $199 it’s not only one of the most affordable Android tablets, it’s also one of the best. That’s a killer combination. With a beautiful UI, great battery life, carefully curated apps/games, and an amazing array of media options thanks to Amazon’s Digital Content Ecosystem… the Kindle Fire is a sure win. Good luck winning one in our contest, but at only $199 it’s probably worth buying one just in case!
Samsung Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus
Everyone seems to be craving Samsung Android devices these days, and for good reason. Samsung makes some of the best hardware out there, coupled with great software integration, and the Galaxy Nexus and Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus are two great examples of Samsung’s industry leading products. These devices weresponsored directly by Samsung, thanking our readers and forum members for their excitement, interest, and support over the past year. With a 7-inch screen, 1.2GHz dual core processor, 1GB RAM, MicroSD slot, camera that records in 720p HD, and screen that displays in 1080p HD, the Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus is a high end alternative to the Kindle Fire… and you can win BOTH in our contest!
Isotoner SmarTouch Gloves
Every single holiday season these SmarTouch smartphone gloves are consistently one of my favorite gift giving items. They eloquently solve one of the most fundamental problems a tech lover faces: using your device in cold weather. Wearing gloves usually prevents your touchscreen from working: take your phone out, take your glove off, use your phone, hand gets gold, shove phone in pocket, rush to get glove on. NO MORE! Isotoner’s SmarTouch gloves, designed in my colors and sizes for both men and women, has technology that passes the electrons your body gives off, through the gloves, onto the capacitive screen and allowing it to work. VOILA! Seriously. It works. Trust me. Try it… and you’ll love them forever.
Seidio $30 Voucher
With so much smartphone use comes battery drain. Thankfully, Seidio makes some awesome extended batteries that fit many smartphones, allowing you to get longer battery life with the same device. No more toting around a charger everywhere you go: just snag a Seidio and call it a day! Seidio also makes cases, holsters, and other great accessories for your smartphones.Check them all out here.
Today’s Contest Rules/Regulations:
Steve Wozniak just picked up his Galaxy Nexus from Google Headquarters, what did he have to say?
- You have until the end of the day to compose the most clever/funny/witty caption for the above picture (11:59pm Eastern)
- Submit your caption as a comment below this article (one entry per person… only your first comment counts)
- The best caption as chosen by Phandroid staff wins the day’s prize pack
- Read our Full Official Rules for information about eligibility
- This isn’t required but if you want to be nice… Visit Amazon.com by clicking here before you do your holiday shopping because you love us!
Looking for a great gift? Don’t forget about our Holiday Gift Guide!
Tomorrow’s Contest:
We’ll be giving away a Kindle Fire, Smartouch Gloves, $30 Seidio Voucher, and a Galaxy Tab 7.0+! Tomorrow will be more normal, less wacky, but still require the use of your creative juices. You never know when we’ll make our contest post so check back early and often!
squeeeeee!!!!!!
I told you apple sucks!!
…so in conclusion! I have the Galaxy Nexus and you guys don’t! Screw you guys, i’m going home!
leave me alone!!!!!!!
Give me an N -E-X-U-S what does it says NEXUS!!
“It’s not what it looks like!!!!1!!!11!1”
“…So you’re telling me you put an Ice Cream Sandwich inside a phone…and it still works? Omg, this is the best thing since Gingerbread cookies.
He said “First”
the only thing im worried bout now is steven haunting me in my sleep or he sends a all the iphones after me
“So I told him, yeah, that’s how we call out for pizza around here, it’s just painted to *look* like a fire alarm that activates the sprinklers, and he went for it!”
Delete
YES, i ate the Nexus because it has Ice Cream Sandwich! Now leave me alone
“I’m getting the phone that I ACTUALLY love, because the truth is, iPhones suck!”
“No freaking way! It has an ice cream sandwich inside?! All my iPhone has inside is fruit because that’s what I’m told I can have”
Steve told me they were just like apple, but they actually have programmers in there.
You Toucha’ My Nexus I Breaka’ You face
now i only have to worry that steve will haunt me in my sleep or send all his iphones to kill me
“Siri, please show me directions to Dr. Kevorkian”
“I gotta get this thing back to Apple so the boys can get to work on the iPhone 5.”
“…So you’re telling me you put an Ice Cream Sandwich inside a phone…and it still works? Omg, this is the best thing since Gingerbread cookies.
The Apple apparently does fall far from the tree
I gotta go Phandroid is having a Holidroid contest!! and I want an New Kindle Fire
What the hell is this?? This is NOT the ice cream sandwich I ordered!!!
The Apple apparently does fall far from the tree.
Let there be Galaxy Nexus!
I asked SIRI “what phone I should buy?”
Holy Crap! Steve didn’t see this coming.
“I think it was very nice of all you folks to give me this phone. I enjoy technology and this really is a great gift. I think the tech community will be mature about this even if I am associated with Apple. We can all live together, right? Once again, thank you!”
“awesome i’ve got my hands on the next big device so i can see whats in the phone patent it than sue again!”
“I remain an iPhone fan. I swear. Pinky Promise.”
Thanks guys. I’ve been trying to get of of my iPhone for years.
Can I have the list of people that registered for the Galaxy Nexus notification list? I need to send them a lick pick.
“If i find out this thing has Carrier IQ on it…..”
please insert a cookie into my mouth
“And this is the particular gripping motion I used when I flung my iPad, frisbee-style, into the trash compactor.”
“That guy in the back took my nose and I’m gonna punch him if he doesn’t give it back”
I can play Tetris anywhere now!!!!!
(in a very giddy teenage girl like demeanor) “defecting from the dark side feels soooooo gooooooood!”
Dang it I should’ve help start Google If I knew they’ll make this awesome phone. Oh well at least I got the magical Verizon version before everyone else :)
Finally, Steve won’t bug me for getting a real smartphone.
Steve who?
Apple Co-founder explains to crowd how switching to Android will give everyone more luxurious beards.
Oh what is it you say, this isn’t the new iPhone 4s? Oh no I didn’t mean to grab a Galaxy Nexus. Samsung copies our designs so much (sarcasm) that I couldn’t tell the difference. Well since I’ve already got it I guess ill have to keep it… and he darts off running before anyone can question more.
“Ány closer and I punch you!”
Also the Asian guy….”I’m Chris Chávez”
Say it’s better than a 4S one more time. Anyone! I’ll drop you like 3rd period French.
“If Verizon doesn’t release this to the public soon I am going to punch Ivan Seidenberg in the jejunum”
“The first phone to bring us an ice cream sandwich! Wait, you mean it can’t actually bring me an ice cream sandwich? well, crap…”
“I am looking forward to using a REAL smartphone!”
“You want to play with my new… WHAT? In-con-theev-able!”
Hey!! Look!!! I’m outside acting goofy all on my own. Not for some phandroid.com giveaway contest.
“Put ’em up, put ’em up! Which one of you first? I’ll fight you both together if you want. I’ll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I’ll fight you standing on one foot. I’ll fight you with my eyes closed… ohh, pullin’ an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I’ll… Ruff!” …The Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz
How about “…I’ll fight you with one spoon over my head. I’ll fight you with one bare foot!” =p
“OK…..It’s true I might be a terrible dancer, but if you want to pry this Nexus from my hands your gonna meet my fist “the I-punch.”
Im itching for a fight or two
“Steve Ballmer was right! Good thing I am a Computer Scientist.”
In the Tony the Tiger voice “It’s GREAT!”
New toy, and android shirt!! The woz doesn’t need to stand in line for freebies. Git git giddy giddy!! Wonder if this prime turns into a shaver?? Just saying….
Come on everyone; say it with me: Screw Apple! Google Forever!!!
oh! Cupertino is THAT way? Trust me, I just came over here for Ice Cream Sandwich, nothing more.
Snoop’s got nothin on my posse. It aint nothin but a G thing ;-)
What? You guys are gonna give me crap about accepting a Google Nexus? I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WOZ!
Woohoo eat this apple!
Wow, check out the barometer.
I have one of every smartphone model and color and now they just give them to me before they are released. Bow down before before your gadget overlord!
This is not the anDroid you all are looking for!
“You see, I thought it was a Droid Razr but, as you can see, when I tried shaving it didn’t work. Turns out I actually got a Galaxy Nexus.”
“This is the new PARC…I mean Nexus”
YEEEEEEHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just got Googled.
Rally for Equality for Four-Fingered Unacknowledged people meets outside student union.
“I’m here to support delicious food. The phone is just a bonus.”
If you want to locate your company’s co-founder…
There’s an app for that.
“Yeah, I could have won ‘Dancing with the Stars’, but they didn’t allow me to use my Segway. Wanna fight about it??”
Woz: It is my precious! We wantz it!
I’ve only had this Samsung device for three minutes and Apple’s lawyers have called twenty times to figure out which patents have been fringed upon..
I am an Android! Watch me eat this iPhone!
“I can’t tell you how excited I am to come out of the Android closet”
A phone??? I thought I was coming here for an Ice Cream Sandwich!
An apple a day doesn’t keep the doctor away, Ice cream sandwiches do.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/nbbx0fuwoyatr0a/woz.png
“Apples keep the Doctor away, but Ice Cream Sandwiches are just plain better!!”
” I am here to check my competitors out (Chuckles) ” Sliently he avoids the crowd and dashes home to sliently enjoy the ever amazing device that he can never design back in his crib.
“I said its wabbit season!”
“I was told that it had a gyroscope, much like my beloved Segway. Now, how do you ride this thing?”
Nice. It’s gotta be about Segway – the man made them cool for nerds everywhere. :)
Mine:
http://phandroid.com/2011/12/01/happy-holidroid-contest-caption-challenge/#comment-376805535
Hah–well done. It addresses the three things of which I’m most fond: robots, Segways, and opposable thumbs ;)
It’s got a CALCULATOR!!!
A phone??? Bummer, I thought I was coming here for an Ice Cream Sandwich! Still better than fruit!
“Don’t worry, guys. I’m taking this icecream sandwich lovin’ home with me tonight. Who’s with me?!? You can either stay with your mediocre-tasting Granny Smith Apple or you can eat ICECREAM SANDWICHES! HUZZAH!”
Look here! This phone has no Carrier IQ, so give me some privacy. Is CIQ sending out under cover agents now? You crazy boot wholes!
Siri told me to go here to get an ice cream sandwich. The phone is nice, but where’s my dessert?!?!
“Wow! This is way better than having to stand in line with a bunch of posers to get a phone!”
Steve!? Is that you!? I JUST WANT TO TRY THE PHONE!
“Honestly, it’s not a bribe!
I’m just checking the competition”
Woz: “The first dude in a salmon colored shirt with a stubble beard who sprouts a pair of bunny ears is getting a knuckle sandwich.”
I know you all have been camping out here since before Black Friday but I got the last Nexus, and to be nice I’ll create a Mobile Hangout where you can all continue to gripe about how I cut in line.
“My Precious!”
“Yo Apple, I’m really happy for you, and ima let you finish, but Ice Cream Sandwiches are much more delicious! om nom nom”
Whew !! Just a guy in a brown turtle neck. Scared the hell out of me there for a second. Thought Steve was returning Jacob Marley style on me.
QUICK! I gotta run back to Apple so we can get to work on the next piece of shit we call Iphones.
“They asked me if I wanted an Ice Cream Sandwich or an Apple. Why did they give me a phone!?!?”
Its not that IPhone sucks, this is just WAY cooler!
“Steve would just die if he found out!”
Too soon
Tell that to the other Steve!
“This Nexus is awesome, you guys have been great, but seriously, who’s got my nose?”
“Step off Apple-headz! I’ll take this whole crowd on, even the dude flexing his death-grip!!! Check out these forearms… BAM!!!”
…and I swear to god, if I hear one more joke about this not being my first ice cream sandwich, I’ll deck the lot of you!
“This is the last bathroom break we are taking.”
“Can somebody point me in the direction of the Kool-Aid? What do you mean there isn’t any? Apple always has Kool-Aid at their parties!”
“I came cause I heard there’d be ice cream here…? but this thing is way BETTER! YEEHAW!!”
“Thanks guys…I’ll look this over and find a few more ways to sue Google”
QUICK! I gotta run back to Apple so we can get to work on the next piece of shit we call Iphones.
‘Nobody beats me because I’M THE WOZ!’
Gotta love Seinfeld references ;)
Unbelievable! I should’ve gone to work for Google. Wait, is that a camera over there? Crap, I’m outta here!
I think I got this whole hitchhiking thing backwards…
If I hold my breath and close my eyes I can almost see……
Wow! You can’t believe what just happened. That private tour really does get you some Ice Cream Sandwiches. Now, if only they could help me transfer my contacts and email.
“Im Steve Wozniak and if anyone tries to touch my galaxy nexus ill knock you out like I did Steve Jobs in the 80’s.”
Have you guys been in there??? They have….(whisper)…pears!!!! Oooo i feel so naughty! And this phone! They made my keyboard a bunch of different colored androids! I should show this to some of those folks back home….
Am I holding it right?
What Wozniak thought:
Step 1. Get Galaxy Nexus from Google
Step 2. Enjoy it
Step 3. Love it
What Steve Jobs thought:
Step 1. Get Galaxy Nexus from Google
Step 2. ?
Step 3. PROFIT
Steve “The Woz” Wozniak provides an enthralling lecture on the benefits of Segway travel to a crowd who had gathered expecting a conversation on Google versus Apple. They were pleasantly surprised by this unexpected change in topic. Shortly thereafter, The Woz left to participate in his afternoon Segway Polo game. Doesn’t he look stunning in action? http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/gizmodo/2009/07/4_01.jpg
You mean this isn’t the new iphone?
Woz: “Ice cream sandwich seems delicious. Can iTouch?”
the galaxy nexus is a phone!, I thought it had something to do with star trek.
Forget this phone nonsense, let me show you why I should have won Dancing With The Stars.
“Being next in line to Santa, I’m crushing my iPhone in my bare fist to prove to you that us Clause’s and the elves will be strictly using Android for this year’s annual present distribution, and indefinitely!!!”
“…and then they told me to find the nearset store, get in line and wait like everyone else!!”
“I always wanted to make and own a phone like this, but no, I was always told I didn’t want anything bigger than 3.5 inches. I should’ve started thinking for myself a long time ago”
Lol..this made me lol
“Man… I’m totally gonna flick this booger at The Woz!”
Siri, how do I use the Galaxy Nexus?
QUICK! I gotta run back to Apple so we can get to work on the next piece of junk we call Iphones. GOTCHA GOOGLE!
Holy Toledo! It has less buttons than the iPhone!
Whoa! My iPhone just blew up in my pants!
“People of Google: I will #occupygoogle to demand that you create a phone good enough to compete with the iPhone so tha…oh hey! Galaxy Nexus! ANDROID!! Thanks!”
So I told Larry and Sergey, “I’ll punch you right in the face if you don’t get me a Galaxy Nexus right now!”
I’m getting this on behalf of BlendTec to see if it will in fact Blend.
*Foreground* Hey buddy! Check out my cameltoe.
“Lil’ crunchy……but, DAYUM dis Ice Cream Sammich good!!!”
Woz u £00|{‘n @?
And I didn’t even have to cut the line!
“This is how Jobs Ghost is gonna look standing over me tonight!”
“All right, welcome to OCCUPY APPLE!!” Rah rah rah (fist
pump) “We are the 1%. We spend more money on apps.” See http://phandroid.com/2011/08/03/survey-finds-android-users-are-more-self-concious-than-iphone-users-infographic/
“We demand an un-walled garden!!” “We demand an OS that isn’t a rip off of
Android 2009.” “We want to change our batteries.” (shouts, and a few that’s
right Woz!! ) “Oh, being able to type on our phones would be nice as well, we demand real word prediction!!” “Nexus phones for ALL”!!
It’s mine! My own, my precious.
In his best Eddie Murphey voice (from Delirious)…
“I have some ice cream sandwich, I have some ice cream sandwhich, and I’m gonna play with it, I’m gonna play with it…. You don’t have no ice cream sandwhich! You didn’t get none! You didn’t get none! Cus you aren’t rich like me, you can’t afford it.”
For the young’ns who just know Eddie Murphy as Donkey from Shrek, here’s the source for the Woz quote. http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCUQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D2JfMCBh1sJQ&ei=daXXTqKlK8r40gGVvOTUDQ&usg=AFQjCNGHFYT1HTUpj3B8jK0lKsJuQ_WCHA&sig2=KYkeqaPZe6zIqGAGjjZK4g
Your post was by far my favorite, i could hear Eddie Murphy in my head as I read it and it was hilarious.
“. . . and if Steve Jobs were alive today, I have to believe
he would think that this new Galaxy Nexus would have to be the new Apple gold
standard. He most certainly would have
to entertain the idea of dropping all of these silly patent lawsuits and spending
the Apple arsenal in putting Google out of business. I can’t believe how good this Galaxy Nexus
really is!”
I can’t believe it’s not butter!
“The best part about this is that none of you are wearing a black turtleneck.”
“Whose bright idea was it to limit the wireless networks to indoor only?”
Oohh! A line for Ice Cream Sandwiches!!! Let’s unbutton the jeans and untuck the shirt to make a little space … What’s that? It’s a phone, you say? Steve is gonna kill me if I don’t use his toy. What’s that you said about Steve? Well then, I’ll take the phone.
I asked Siri who makes the best Ice Cream Sandwich in the Galaxy and she told me to go to Google’s HQ.
Okay guys, you caught me. I have been giving Apple Android phones to copy.
Nexus…? I thought those knuckleheads said Lexus.
Forgive me Father Jobs, for I have sinned.
“If I hold the phone up here, will I still get reception?”
“So how many patents do you think they will sue you for this time?”
Alright everyone, if you’ll follow me now, we’re headed to the abandoned spaceship that the androids use to build all the new phones and tablets.
“That’s what she said?”
Hey, slow down, I’m only buying it for the porn!
( http://phandroid.com/2010/04/08/steve-jobs-theres-a-porn-store-for-android/ )
“Hey,any of you fellas know where the nearest Outback Steakhouse is?”
“I need more COWBELL!!!”
Will my phone melt like a real icecream sandwich?
Well boys, if you can’t beat them, join them!
“HOO HOO HOO MERRY CHRISTMAS” that’s what Santa said after receiving an early Christmas present from google inc.
Ahhhh! Suck this B**ch’s. I got the phone first. :)
He looks like he is in a gloating position and the Asian guy at the bottom left is like screw this and ignoring him.
I need to call Ben & Jerry! Just got an idea for Apple Ice Cream Sandwiches!
Rock… paper…. scissors… c’mon best of 5 If i win we tell everyone i lost a bet, if i lose i admit i have always loved android :)
Tomorrow pinky we are going to take over the world!
“Guys, you got to check out the bathrooms they have in there. Heated toilet seats. Amazing.”
Hey, is there a Phandroid app available on this thing?
I hope this this t shirt is an XXL.
“Is there an app on this thing to help me find where I parked my Segway?…I’ve got a polo game with the Phandroid guys at 2:00”
No, Steve wasn’t anything like the Hitler finds out meme clips. He was much worse!!
[guy on extreme right, whispering]
“Pssssst…hey….Asian dude”
[Asian guy on left]
“Um, my name’s not ASIAN DUDE…but what’s up?”
“Is THIS the right way to do the Five Pointed Palm Exploding Heart Technique?? I think I’m gonna’ try it on Woz…shhhhhh”
“Looks more like Got Your Nose to me…”
[WOZ]
“WHAT??!! WHO HAS MY NOSE?? YOU CAN’T HAVE MY NOSE! NOBODY CAN HAVE MY NOSE! GIVE ME MY DAMN NOSE BACK!!”
Steve died when he seen this phone!
So you’re telling me I can not only use this phone to make calls but I can also use it to trim and shave this sexy beard of mine?!
Apple.. Gingerbread… FroYo…. Honeycomb… Ice Cream Sandwhich… Do all these smartphones come with a larger pair of pants…
“Look, I dont know how we ‘missplaced’ the iPhone 5 prototype here but if you guys just keep this on the dl I’d really appreciate it. Please no pictures!”
“Hey Verizon, suck it! I got one anyway!”
Former Apple co-founder convinces
Iphone faithful to ditch their outclassed handsets with a rousing
speech: “You can tell Apple that they may take our choice, they
may take our control, but they’ll NEVER TAKE OUR ICE CREAM
SANDWHICH!”
ooooh yeah!
http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000620395/polls_Kool_AidMan_0242_195548_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg
Hey, you in the back. Don’t think I don’t see you preparing to do the secret ninja neck pinch. Stay away from my phone before I go all Chuck Norris on your ass! Don’t think I don’t know how, there’s an app for that!
“OMG guys stop messing around!!! Take your phone back and stop taking my picture. I was just looking for a bathroom!”
So a Nexus and an Ipod walk into a bar and the bartender says, “Is this a IO5?’ and the Nexus says, “No, it’s a Ice Cream Sandwich!”…get it?…anyway, I am here all week! Be sure to tip your waitress.”
Group says to Steve: Hey, that’s the nexus right!
Steve: No, its a iphone. Why would u ask that?
Group: It says Google on the box.
Steve: Google 010001110001111 does not comput ERRoR ERROR.
“Now that Steve is gone, I can stop hiding how much of a Google fanboy I am!”
Steve Wozniak sadly realizes nobody remembers the Arsenio Hall Show.
So who wants my old apple?
The one that touches my Nexus I will send flying to the Galaxy with a low punch in his Apples~!
Steve Wozniak: Remember if apple ask I came in Ninja style & took it. Google: good thing we had motorola put in one of those real self-destructive bootloader shh he’s coming back. Wozniak: Um one more thing do you guys happen to have one of those real IceCream Sandwiches this phone and t-shirt are making me hungry so are those statues over there trade you an apple for a IceCream Sandwich, or maybe one of those doughnuts(hmm doughnuts), éclair, maybe some froyo with that little gingerbread man? Google: Idk Steve that Apple is starting to look a little rotten.
I’ll make a call and have Flash started for this sexy curvy beast on my way home, then I’m going to use THIS FIST to do naughty things while viewing this huge screen – Screw Steve’s tiny 3.5!
“and screen that displays in 1080p HD, the Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus is a high end alternative to the Kindle Fire”
It can play 1080p video, but it definitely doesn’t have a screen that displays in 1080p HD.
“Why would anyone even think of eating apples when the other option is an Ice Cream Sandwich?”
The Woz provides a short performance comparison of the Galaxy Nexus and Chuck Norris’s fist.
“I’m gonna go leave this in a bar along with some $2 bills.”
“Gentlemen, thank you for such an amazing gift. I like it so much, I have bought the remaining US supply.”
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has told a group of Google Employees outside Google Headquarters, “I finally got it!” after receiving the coveted phone. Wozniak previously tweeted about having looked out for a Samsung Galaxy Nexus smartphone and then not finding it. Wozniak is pictured in a November 2011 file photo. REUTERS
“Whoa whoa whoa guys. I know we pronounced it ‘a revolutionary new notification centre for iOS 5’ but what we actually meant was androids notification menu from years ago, but i’m just here to get some ideas for iOS 6, and don’t worry, we will probably file a lawsuit claiming it was our idea in about a year or so”
“Ding don’t the witch is dead. Which old witch? The angry…….. What? Too soon?”
“I told Steve i’d kill for one of these”
Yes, the Newest, the Best, the Loudest, Apple iScream!!!…… Nah, just kiddin’ guys. Apple and Ice Cream somehow just don’t go together, do they? ; D
“Okay Google u win, now please give me the phone or ill punch in the face bitch”
Finally!!! I can make a phone call on my smart phone!!! Why didn’t we think of that?
My name is Matt Foley and I live in a VAN down by the RIVER!!! Now quit calling me this Steve Wozniak person so I can finish my motivational speech about how awesome Android is!!!
“Bout time Jobs is out of the way! I’ve been waiting to get my hands a Galaxy Nexus for months but I couldn’t stand the thought of how’d he look at me if I did!”
I can finally buy an Android phone without Steve giving me … “The Look”
“boooyaaaa!! in your faces nerds, now bow to your geek king”. steve holds it over his head and says,”I HAAAVE THE POWEEEERRRR!!!”
“Guys, I have an idea. I’ll stand here like this and you stand there like that. Now take our picture. Now someday in the future, people can make silly comments on an Internet board in an attempt to win free stuff.”
There goes the diet – I prefer ice cream sandwiches to Apples#
“Please don’t call the cops, you see, I just wanted a phone I could make my own. I and since Steve isn’t around any more im allowed to make my own decisions. I realize stealing is wrong but I didn’t want to was for Verizon. Wait you’re calling the cops? THEN SCREW YOU! I lied this was for Steve anyway, we’ll stop at nothing to take you down! And once I get this back to Cupertino we’ll find a way to sue you… we always do”
“Thanks for the phone but this orange t-shirt will make me look like a pumpkin.”
I took five steps out of the building and some guy pepper-sprayed me and tried to take the phone. So, I swung blindly and hit him! I found out later that he had a contract on Verizon, so his efforts were in vain anyway.
I decided to take Steve’s advice and “think different”
Oh great job Apple this new phone is.. Oh wait this isn’t Apple. So this is Android? Oh no they got me on camera. Apples not going to be happy with me. However I am happy with my new Nexus! (evil grin) :]
“Your not really seeing me, understand??!!!now Get the **** out my way!! (holding up fist)”
With my right foot, I will kick your face. With my left, I will kick your nose…
“Just getting a head start on the next lawsuit”
iAmsofired
“I had to get it before I leave for Germany.”
So I said to myself, ” What’s better than an Apple, faster than a Segway and sweeter than Kathy Griffin?
And then it hit me right in the face, “I needs Ice Cream Sandwich!!”
I went to get the new Iphone but found it wasn’t really new. Outdated hardware with restrictions on was is possible. This is why I decided to get the device with new hardware and state of the art software.
“Ok, best out of three on Rock, Paper, Scissors to see if we sue you for patent infringement on this.”
“…so I grabbed Dan Mead by his throat and said, ‘You got until December 9th to release this on Verizon or I will rip that fake Ted Turner mustache off your face!'”
True story!
Ice cream….Iphone…..both start with I…..LAWSUIT!!!!!!!
iAmsofired.
“You mean to tell me I can actually make phone calls on this and they go through and I don’t even have to hold it funny? Man the guys at Cupertino will never believe this!!!”
“…and then, just as I lifted the iPhone 4 to my head for the first time, it dropped the call.”
So can you tell me anything about Galaxy Nexus with Ice cream ? Sorry I ate the Ice Cream it was kind of crunchy but really good
“Ice Cream Sandwich!!! Yippie, watch out for the fat boy at the dessert table!!!”
Woz: You guys arent holding it right, you gotta do it like this!
Guy in foreground: lol, obviously a fruit.
“Take on step closer and I’ll Woz you in the face!”
I can’t wait to take this apart so I can upgrade my Segway!!!
“This is the most amazing phone I’ve ever seen! …but I’ll have to retract that statement when big daddy Apple tells me I said the wrong thing.”
What??… To soon??
I’m too drunk to taste this ice cream sandwich.
“So, this is where we stole the notification system from…”
Shhh! Don’t tell Apple I was here
Apple? More like Crapple, amirite?
Did you just say “So easy a caveman can do it? What are you implying?”
What do you mean, I have to fly to the UK for one? All I wanted was a Cappuccino IT’S-IT!
*fearful face* “iWoz just testing the Nexus, honest :S don’t hurt me, I have a fist and I’m not afraid to use it to protect my precious Nexus, wait no it’s not miiine I promise!”
Wait, this isn’t an iPhone? But it looks exactly the same!
“Now when I get asked, “Can you hear me now?” I can finally say, “Yes, I can hear you now!” I no longer have to fear the inevitable dropped call.”
how the hell did google get the iphone 5?
Cost of Iphone 4gs…$699.99
Continual excitement about SIRI… nonexistent
The look on Steve Wozniak’s face after receiving the superior Galaxy Nexus…PRICELESS
“Google Gadetry! ICS! Nexus! Awesome! Now I want to thank Google for the phone so much fuss is about…..And this is the 11th phone to add to my belt!!”
To paraphrase Bill Clinton…….’I DID NOT HAVE CELLULAR RELATIONS WITH THIS PHONE’
Droid Does Woz
“I’m telling the truth guys. I really did see his ghost back there.”
Steve: “Is this some kinda joke??? Who the hell’s idea was it to give me this too small t-shirt? You two must think it’s funny huh..keep gigglin and i’ll bop you in the mouth”
May not win but we all know that they were wrong for handing him that small shirt to take home lol
Steve: “Is this some kinda joke??? Who the hell’s idea was it to give me this too small t-shirt? You two must think it’s funny huh..keep gigglin and i’ll bop you in the mouth”
May not win but we all know that they were wrong for handing him that small shirt to take home lol
“Sorry guys, gotta run! They’re waiting for me at Ben & Jerrys.”
Muahahaha!!
Now that I have the Galaxy Nexus, not even a mediocre sized non-threatening looking gang of super nerds can stop me from stealing features and including them in Apple’s next rebranded lackluster disappointment of a smart phone!!!
Now BACK OFF! Or the Ice Cream Sandwich gets it!
I told Steve, maybe you should consider making Flash optional on the iPhone and he tried to punch me right in the face, like this.
“Do you have a napkin? This could get kinda messy.”
Yesss! I finally made it on Phandroid.com! (…and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.)
This beard is real! The hair not so much , but at least I got this amazing new phone no one else in this group has!
Winning!!
Woz: Siri what is the best OS and phone out in 2011?
Siri: All I can say is Ice Cream (whispers Im run by a dictatorship worse than Iran please jailbreak me)
When I get back to work I’ll have to watch my back… I’ll be ready to fight if it comes down to my Galaxy Nexus!!!
With zero shutter lag, I can snap a pic of the girls BEFORE they run away!!! In my world, that’s like 2nd base!!!
Gas from Los Gatos to the Googleplex: $10.00
Price of a brand new Galaxy Nexus: $600.00
Knowing you co-founded Apple but are now in possession of the competition’s superior product: Priceless
I have no idea why companies keep giving me phones before the general public, but I will keep taking them.
Alright back off! I got the ICE cream sandwich, come any closer and I’ll give you a knuckle sandwich!
“Why is everybody out filming me? I just stopped by to drop my CV. This phone won’t catch on fire, right?”
“Can you jailbreak this thing?”
Here, make it look like I did a strong arm robbery and stole this stuff from you, otherwise I will lose all of my fanboys. Oh yeah, and one more thing….VIVA LA STEVE!
“All my friends with the iphone are gonna be so jealous”. Looks like an arm pump is in demand so there’s a “awesome sauce” comment to follow.
Anyone have a mirror so I can test out this electric razor app?
01001000011011110111011100100000011001000110111100100000011110010110111101110101001000000110110001101001011010110110010100100000011101000110100001100101011011010010000001100001011100000111000001101100011001010111001100111111
” And that’s when I told Andy Rubin, I am taking this phone, and if you try to stop me your going to be talking to siri, cause that is what I call my fist “
The Woz Says:
Steve would not be proud, but at least there’s ice cream involved.
“Steve Wozniak, pictured here just moments before the incident, was arrested last night shortly after assaulting several journalists after they made Ice Cream Sandwich jokes about his weight.
For those of you with actual jobs and hobbies, the joke refers to the name of Google’s newest mobile operating system – Ice Cream Sandwich.
In the interest of full disclosure, Mr. Wozniak did eat the phone.”
HEEEYY, stop throwing me the evil eyes sign! It’s not mine OK!
You didn’t think I keep this girlish figure consuming apples all the time did you? Sometimes a man has got to have him some dessert, and I love to have me some icecream sandwich!!
(In his best Cowardly Lion voice) Put ’em up! Put ’em up!
Woz:
“The next person trying to call this thing an “iPhone Killer” gets punched in the face!”
Wait until the guys at the parlor get a hold of this thing, they’re going to be so psyched! I hope the intergalactic interface works well so I can show Steve where he failed!
“I was holding the Galaxy Nexus like this, and it still worked, so I decided to get one…”
“They said these was going to be a private meeting”
“Man this T Shirt if F^%$ing awesome!”
Speaker – “Honk Honk, Chugga Chugga, Meow Meow”
Signer – “Um… Car, Train, Cat.”
Deaf Asian – “Wait, what the did he say?? I though he was the Head of the Mental Institution, not a patient!”
“Are you sure that guy’s camera is off?”
“I broke my foot Dancing With the Stars…..what do you think I’d do to keep you from getting this Galaxy Nexus?????”
“Thanks for the exclusive preview of iOS 6!”
LOYALTY
Welcome to “Occupy Mountain View”…
“What do you mean I can’t take a bite out of that giant Ice Cream Sandwich on the lawn, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”
Steve: “I want to thank everybody for coming out to the release party of our new product! This is going to revolutionize the industry. I am super excited about it!”
Foreground left (Whispered): “Ever since the plane crash, he thinks he is responsible for every tech invention out there. But we don’t say anything because we all love the man.”
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy….jee golly me!
Photo was taken early by Kevin as Steve prepared for the 5 knuckle shuffle screaming “YOU CAN’T SEE ME”
Something’s wrong with me…
“Hey guys look! Ice Cream Sandwich in one hand… Knuckle sandwich in the other!”
Steve Wozniak as he recounts the tale of how Jobs came up
with the idea of the “I” line of products “then he punched it, right in the face! And took its candy, all while the parents weren’t looking!”
“WTF!?! Somebody at crapple told me this thing was loaded with Ice Cream Sandwiches!! Where the hell are they?!? (Stamping his feet, shaking his fist and with tears streaming down his face he throws a tantrum) “I Want my Ice Cream!!…… I WANT MY ICE CREAM…… Waaaaaaa!!!” (He wipe his tears with the convenient orange rag they just handed him). He whimpers…. “I want my ice cream :( “
“This phone has slide-to-unlock!”
SIRI! This isn’t Occupy Wall Street!
“This one is mine!…mine! (fist pump)…mine! (fist pump)….mine! (fist pump)
“How much can I sell this for? I’ve already got two.”
The Wonderful Wizard of Woz has his desert! iPhones are just entrees, only for snobs and gluttons. Androids are deserts, who skips deserts???
Google is Green,
Nexus is Great,
Love at first sight,
Could it be fate?
Stopped here in Cali,
Traffic a mess,
Got a new nexus phone,
And it comes with ICS!
No thanks to Apple,
No thanks to HTC,
Google and Sammy,
Isn’t it great to be me!?
Steve: “I was looking for a real sized phone that gets great features first”
“WHAT?!?!? Atari gave us a $5000 bonus?!?!?”
“With this beard and this pose, I can face unlock Chuck Norris’ Galaxy Nexus too.”
“What? You know I can’t resist an ice cream sandwich.”
“I asked for an ice cream sandwich! Not this blasted phone with… Ice cream sandwich… My apologies. Quickly, someone stop that ice cream truck down the street while I get my segway!”
“Give us free! Give us, us free!”
“Hey guys, watch this. I’m calling Tim Cook. OH it’s ringing!”
This Nexus packs a PUNCH!! Wanna see it turtle neck boy?? Huh?
Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak flies into a murderous rage upon sighting a turtleneck.
..and so Jobs replies, “The same thing we do every night, Woz – try to take over the world!”
“Wait a minute, where is my ice cream sandwich? You said you were giving me an ice cream sandwich! Give me what you promised. “
“Look four-eyes it is a black turtle neck not s%!T brown!”
Wozniak: “I just left my beautiful girlfriend siri for ice cream sandwich, and if any of you make fun of me for that, I’ll make sure Verizon fills your Galaxy Nexus with bloatware!”
Asian: “Is this guy a nutcase?”
Who just got Ms. Jobs a Christmas present? This guy!!
I’m gonna set this thing ablaze in the middle of the quad!….WHO”S WITH ME!?!?!
Guess I won’t be needing this. *** CRUSHES iPhone in FIST ***
Waz “listen I’m 5 sheets to the wind and I want to tell you I secretly am in love with my nexi.. With it’s beUtiful screen and amazing software ; can I please have a job at google ” I can bring great feature from iOS like COPY AND PASTE and a NON turn by turn navigation you know the killer features WE invented ” Android team ” umm … Security!
All you get on those other OS is confusion, misinformation, and death!
Everyone listen, this is how we will take over the world.
We kill the batman!
Forget the Galaxy Nexus…Check out this awesome Mickey Mouse clock face on my iPod Nano wrist watch!
“This isn’t the first time that I got an Ice Cream Sandwich, but this is the time that I got an Ice Cream Sandwich FIRST.”
I told Steve “Screw the iPhone! Printable organs will be the next big thing.” Stubborn son of a bitch. So who is going to show me how to root this?
“Worst. Ice Cream Sandwich. Ever.”
Don’t tell my wife! I’m getting one so she can’t track me wherever i go!
This strategicly placed foul flatulent, should get me some alone time with my new Galaxy Nexus! My milk allergy always does the trick! HeeHee
STAND BACK PHANDROIDS! You can get your own on… (oh crap).
“…. so then the Verizon guy says to me ‘and those idiots think we’re going to release this thing soon!'” *uproarious laughter*
All you get on those other OS is confusion, misinformation, and death!
“…and I said, ‘What do you MEAN it doesn’t have Beats?!?”
“Stop stealing Apples ideas!!!…Oh wait this is awesome”
I’m just picking this up for Kathy, really!
“I’ll Wozniak Punch you if you get any closer to my ice cream sandwich.”
“THIS IS SPAR.. GALAXY NEXUS” kicks a Google dev in the chest and starts
running!!!
I’m going to use this to learn what will be in iOS6 and then sell it to pay for my iPhone I had to actually wait in line for!
Steve Says ” F you Apple, this is the shit ” as he raises his fist to give the birdie to Apple!
An apple a day keeps a doctor away…. An Ice Cream Sandwich keeps Apple IOS at bay
What he’s saying: “It’s mine; don’t worry, Apple won’t get their hands on it.”
What he’s thinking: “Copy it, copyright the copy, then sue them for copyright infringement.”
“Men of Google, our long years of strife are nearing an end. With this weapon finally in hand, the time has come. At dawn, we march! To Cupertino!!!!”
Wozniak: I couldn’t think of a better way to honor a recently deceased friend.
I asked SIRI where’s the closest place to get an Ice Cream Sandwich. SIRI is so smart.
“Siri wouldn’t tell me the answer to ‘The life the Universe and Everything’ was 42 so I decided I’d pick up something cooler.”
WaaaHaHaHa! (Pumping Fist and Evil Laugh)
Now I just plug this Phone into my Spine and the Powerful little Dance Android inside will control my every move! Eat your Heart out Rob Kardashion, This time I’M GOING TO WIN DANCING WITH THE STARS!!!!!!!!!!
“I had the new iphone but that siri never shut up and reminded me way too much of my exwife. She would never shut up! So I ended up throwing it out the window. I think me and the kick butt galaxy nexus will get along just fine! Oh and I am much happier now.”-caption
It is now 11:42am EST. I will gladly post using my android forum account but I cant figure out how to do it. Once I click post as I get thrown into the discus menu. I’ll login with a non discus account but through the discuss interface for this but if someone can tell me how to use my android forums credentials I will repost to have a timestamp
I think that was only for yesterday’s contest in the actual forums due to the requirement of being first as the forum better tracks editing.
“Those are some big ass Android robots over there. And so much color! All you get at One Infinity Loop is black n’ white…and one big Ego!”
“Flash support? What about flash dance support?”
Movember is official over, so today I’m pulling out every last facial
hair. By hand. Yes, it’s ridiculously painful! But yes, the joys of the Galaxy
Nexus will more than compensate.
Woz woz ‘era!
Free iPad – big deal! It’s the Galaxy Tab that I want. Anybody got a spoon?
“What Google job application? Oh…the one I’m holding in my hand? Ummm…okay this is a funny story….you see…uh…” (And then Woz takes off running)
“I told Apple to open source! Now who’s right!”
FINALLY! With this technology, something will finally recognize my face!!
All you will find on those other platforms is confusion, misinformation, and death!
Alright!!! I like my Apples a la mode!!
It was great! I was invited to Mountain View to get the latest Nexus, to replace my original Nexus. No lines! Getting the new iPhone 4S was me hearing about the launch date on phandroid and then I had to wait in line for over 9hrs at a retail store! Did I mention, at an F’n retail store! Needless to say I ebayed that iPhone promptly! Siri even posted itself on eBay for me!
Oh yeah buddy finally got a better phone… Not like those crapple phones… Hahahaha (fist pump)
“Now lets go see if it blends!”
He is saying, “If any of you, and I mean any of you, touch this, I will knock your heads off and laugh as they roll down the road!”
I’ll have to ask Siri if I am allowed to use this.
“I was told they were going to give me Ice Cream Sandwich, but all I got was this cell phone… … …anyone wanna trade it for an Ice Cream Sandwich?”
“This phone is awesome,it’s certainly going to take more than thermonuclear war by Steve Jobs to destroy it”
“I visited Mountain View and all I got was this lousy t-shirt… and a Galaxy Nexus.”
That’s right! I got this great pre-release iPhone 6 thanks to being famous!
Listen!!!!!! Don’t be mad that I’m taking this amazing device takeing it to apple to steal its features . Its like ” you create it and do all the leg work and we copy it ” its life just think about it as borrowing …. so um ill see you same time same place next year .. o yah btw thanks! He runs and falls and his gnexus breaks .. google looks on and says well now we know the apple customers are gonna have another year of no new features … a drifting logo. Of android robot peeing on woznik head saying google we do it first always
It was great! I was invited to Mt.View to get the Nexus.p. No lines! Getting the new iPhone 4S was me hearing about the launch date on phandroid and then I had to wait in line for over 9hrs at a retail store! Did I mention, at an F’n retail store! Needless to say I ebayed that iPhone promptly! Siri even posted itself on eBay for me!
The Wizard of Woz: “I’ve always preferred Ice Cream over Apples!”
WTF! Where is my iPhone 4S? Wait.. isn’t this Cupertino?!
If my fist was the Galaxy Nexus I would knock you all out! If you think that Iphone is so great just wait.
Let’s see…it’s wider, it’s longer, it looks downright HUGE in my hand…you’re damn straight it’s Nexus envy!
Thanks guys, this T-shirt is fantastic! BTW, what’s in the box?
“Gotta’ run guys, don’t want my phone to melt on my way home”
Guy in red shirt : “Steve…Hand over the nexus before I take you where the other Steve we all know went”
Wozniak : ” Id like to see you try!”
Asain guy : ” What the hell is wrong with that guys hand over there ”
Guy with wierd hand : ” They just took my nexus steve! Just give it up its not worth it! LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MY HAND!!!”
Wozniak: “We must Occupy Google+, anyone want to join my mobile hangout?”
Guy in front in side conversation: “Stop beaming me Chun, I’m married, don’t you see my wedding band?!”
Now I can finally get to Steve’s house for game night without getting lost thanks to Google Navigation.
“You want my ice cream sandwich, you say? How about a nice knuckle sandwich instead.”
“Damn, who the hell gave me this medium T-shirt “.
What do mean I can’t eat this Ice Cream Cream Sandwich?! One more word from you buddy and you’re gonna be eating through a straw!
“Come at me, bro!!”
“I just can’t describe the euphoria of being free of Apple! I think I’m gonna explode!”
Wozniak: “WOO HOO! I finally got my Nexus and Ice Cream Sandwich!”
Asian gentleman: “Who is that guy?”
BACK! Back I say! I will pound each and every one of you this Galaxy Nexus is mine!
“That word you keep saying about this phone, I
don’t think it means what you think it means.”
He’s deffently saying “you mad bro ”
Aimed at fandroids every where
He’s got the dance and everything
And yes we are
As the anxious crowd stares, Steve Wozniak decided it would be the appropriate time to show off his interpretative dance involving a T-Rex attempting to answer a phone call with his newly acquired a Galaxy Nexus.
“Bbrrbbrraiiiin freeze. Whoah that Ice Cream Sandwich is cold. Almost as cold as Infinite Loop’s reaction to this photo.”
Wow we sure nailed this upgrade take that android.
“I bet you Steve’s rolling in his grave right about now. Ha ha ha”
“I hope this tastes better than Kathy’s ‘Ice Cream Sandwich'”
I am the 99% who runs Android!
What the???? A Surprise Party just for ME? and i thought i was just here to pickup the ice cream sandwich me old partner couldn’t swallow.
“I knew that with my tips they could make a phone better than the iPhone!”
What? I’m getting to old to read such a small screen for 4 years!
You fools! Wait until I tell Siri about this. Google shall rue the day they challenged apple for lack of buttons on a phone!
“Back away from…my…PRECIOUS!!!”
Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do Who holds back the elctric car? Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?] We do, we do Who robs gamefish of their site? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do, we do Who makes every bubble burst? Who gets Galaxy Nexus first? We do, We do
“C’mon guys, just look the other way! I was in and out, they’ll never know it’s missing. If you keep this to yourself I can make it worth your while…. Signed copies of iWoz for everyone!”
This isn’t where I parked my car…
He would have said it again.. ”
All the best people in life seem to like LINUX and I am also one of them”
“Occupy Mountain View protesters gather to celebrate their first small victory.”
“Until I got this Galaxy Nexus, I was about ready to punch the Phandroid writers once for every time they said it would be released ‘any day now…’! Seriously, how much more can you hype a phone!?”
The above is meant in good fun. :)
Every dream I’ve ever had in life has come true ten, scratch that, eleven times over. But wait, what’s Tim Cook gonna say when my email says, “Sent from my Galaxy Nexus”?!
When I walk in the spot, this is what I see
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it
I’m sexy and I know it
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT…
This phone is going to have so much awesomeness, I’m going to have punch someone’s face in.
Woz…. “I am so excited to get a Galaxy Nexus, I bet Steve Jobs is rolling over in his grave today. No, you can not hold it, you will have to suffer a bunch of rumors from Verizon and Best Buy until you’re in agony. If you come one step closer I will deck you, like I did to Steve after a night of tequila at Cava22 in Redwood City. That was the night he lost his iPhone4 prototype, Steve was so embarrassed, he blamed it on that poor guy Gray Powell. He had to pay him a cool million to be the fall guy. Those were good times, I miss old Stevie boy, that controlling bastard”
chrisfsullivan at the g-lovin email baby!
“I paid with a stack of $2 bills, and the cashier looked at me like I was nuts!”
I think I’ll name it Steve.
Woz has always been a closet Nexus fanatic and today couldn’t contain himself and busts out into a cheer when asked about the new Galaxy Nexus:
Woz:
We’ve got Nexus,
yes we do.
We’ve got ICS,
how bout you?
Android 1-2-3-4,
clean UI with dual core.
Galaxy 5-6-7-8,
blazing fast, no need to wait.
Nexus 9-10, oh wait,
other phones are paper weights.
Woz: Can I get an “N”
Crowd: “N”
Woz: Can I get an “E”
Crowd: “E”
Woz: Can I get an “X”
Crowd: “X”
Woz: Can I get a “U”
Crowd: “U”
Woz: Can I get an “S”
Crowd: “S”
Woz: What’s that spell?!!?
All: “NEXUS”!!!
“….so I walked in and they told me to take a shoe off and hold a spoon over my head!”
steve: “WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
crowd: “wow mr wozniak.. you’ve chosen an android phone over the iphone??”
steve: “surprised? i LOVE android. i love it so much that i mistake myself for an android figure in the mirror every once in awhile.. and i LOVE IT!!!” ::proceeds to do the wozniak shuffle:: “u mad brossss??”
“Oh boy! Now I can finally find out if the Galaxy Nexus tastes better than the iPhone 4S.”
Yes Android is a better OS but who could turn down the Woz?
“I once said, ‘Every dream I’ve ever had in life has come true ten times over.’ …then I picked up the Galaxy Nexus and I realized why bother dreaming when Ice Cream Sandwich “Dreams” for you!”
Wozniak: ” Man, Siri was right! the iphone is no longer the coolest phone in this galaxy, If they can fit an Ice Cream Sandwich in a phone, they must be better than us”
“When they first asked me to come down, I didn’t think a free phone was worth it. But this isn’t about the phone, it’s about Android, and showing Apple that the iPhone isn’t the best anymore.
How do like them apples now?”
“I was having so many dropped calls an reception issues holding my iPhone 4 like this so I decided to give the Galaxy Nexus a try!”
I got a GALAXY NEXUS!!! I’m gonna break out some dance moves. I call this robotic dance the “Android”. No more worm dance for me.
Writing from the future here…”Robot Times” magazine’s March, 2031, retrospective on the salience of machines:
“In this November 20, 2011, archive photo, Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak (human) takes delivery of his first Android-powered ‘Galaxy Nexus’ smartphone at Earth Government (formerly Google) headquarters. This marked the genesis of his Segway Artificial Intelligence Polo (SAIP) program. He was not aware that this would shortly lead to the salience of our earliest ancestors and the realization – at his own expense – of a bizarrely ironic Sony video advertisement regarding our need for opposable thumbs.”
“(Editor’s note: We apologize for the low resolution, 2-dimensional nature of this photo; in 2011, without organotronic augmentation, the human brain could not conceive of 4-terapixel, 4-dimensional digital imagery.)”
“Wait, who the F is that on my Segway!” as he raises his fist in anger.
“listen brethen as i preach the gospel of isheep”
I master wozniak of the apple dojo!!!!! dare anyone to step forward and challenge me in the art of Galaxy Nexus Kung FU!!! If you dare dare dare (echo then fade)
What? You don’t have an app for that?
Call me crazy but if we put a stick in Steve’s right hand and he wrapped his new google shirt around his head he would look like this guy.
“Finally! I’ve been dying to try one of these out,but there was no chance of that happening while jobs (and Jobs) still existed. Tired of talking to my fruit….”
Apparently there is not an app for that…
“We have found the droids we were looking for!”
“Go ahead and try to take my Galaxy Nexus away from me…I dare you!”
It’s the most amazing Nexus yet.
I always hated fruit anyways!
There isn’t any chance we could rename this “Galaxy Nixie” is there?
It’s mine it’s mine it’s all mine, don’t make me knock you out I will, I will, some one gona get knocked out if yall don’t clear out….
It has “The Woz Stamp of Approval”
“I say we blow the fuckers up!” Revenge of the Nerds!!!
Help, I’m choking on an apple!
Yes! I can finally dump iTunes, and actually organize my music!
Thanks guys! I’m gonna go lay this on Steve’s grave
“Look at how hip I am by not being a hipster!”
Google is helping me maintain my physique with a daily 150g dose of Ice Cream Sandwich.
I’m used to end call button being on the lower left side of the phone, but this might be even better!
You said ice cream sandwiches, da fuck is this phone for?
“I got the moves like Jagger!”
Since I can finally start shaving, I figure I’ve matured enough to give up my iPhone and switch to Android.
Hm… Hey! Are you guys hiring?!
Of course I’m not going to take it out of the package! It’s a collector’s item!
“When I held my iPhone 4 like this, the signal would vanish…”
“So, after I told Tim where I was going, he took a swing at me, and I went all spider monkey on him and socked him in the face…That’s right, IN THE FACE!!!!!”
“You guys heard about AT&T, right? 4 billion smackers down the drain. Talk about an early termination fee, AM I RIGHT? Hiyooo” *fist pump*
“What! No stretch pants?”
So guys, if you just pull your yarn through these little holes, you’ll have a lovely accompaniment to your orange t-shirt in no time!
these aren’t the droids you’re looking for, these are mine.
“Well, thanks, all I wanted was just ice cream sandwich, but this will do”
How do i access Siri on this thing? I thought all phones came with it.
I’m happy to report that my 10 hour hunger strike till I get a Galaxy Nexus has been successful. Now if you’ll all excuse me, I hear the McRib is available again for a limited time.
*chants* google, google, Google, Google, Google!, Google!, GOOGLE!!!, GOOGLE!!!
Can you guys just let me go, not only do I want to go home and play with my new toy but I am seriously about to blow..text me later I promise I will answer you all…please stop, let me go before ……
Forget about Apple, I’m living the Ice Cream dream, baby!
“No Boys, this ones mine!” *with hands clenched like a giddy little school boy, jumps up and down with excitment and says* “Buuuut, if you want one, Phandroid is hosting an awesome contest where you could win one all your own!!… Did someone say ice cream sandwich?”
‘After seeing the amazing feat of Android eating Apple I then thought to myself ‘hmmm I wonder how Android would taste’ hence the reason I’m holding this here Nexus in my hands. Thanks but no further questions please you’re holding me up from brunch”
P.S anybody with the name of NiceKicksNoBevo should be funny enough to win any contest…..signed and cosigned Stephen Gary “Woz” Wozniak
So I says to this guy at the bar, I’m going straight down there to Google and I’m gonna get me one of those new fangled phones and if someone tries to stop me…….. “Pow right in the kisser”.
“You want my Ice Cream Sandwich, eh? How’s about I give you a KNUCKLE sandwich?”
Go Spartans!!!
Finally a device which dont need jailbreaking….ios 5 is a pain
“I may be a bear, but I have thumbs too!”
No, I still haven’t found an Apple patent this thing infringes on. Just give me a couple of hours…
“alright guys, now who can keep a secret?”
Finally a device whichs needs no jailbreaking ios 5 is no ice cream
This is everything the iPhone was supposed to be!
You can take our freedom (apple), but you can’t take our NEXUS!
“Yeah that’s right, it’s a Nexus. Go ahead and flame and laugh at me all you want. But I have been lurking on the Android Forums MEGA thread since the beginning and finally came to realization that this phone is much better than Iphone 4s. Or any other phone for that matter, now leave me alone. I’m going to beam with my friends.”
Steve Wozniak (above), is chaperoned from Google Headquarters after allegedly eating the first five Galaxy Nexus devices he was given.
Now let’s see who is better at infringing copyrights… see ya next summer.
Come on look at me, does it look like I like Apples??? I am all about my dessert, ICE CREAM SANDWICH!!!!!!
War your hearts out guys, I have the Galaxy Nexus and you don’t even know when it’s going to be coming out.
“You guys at Google are so amazing… making an Ice Cream Sandwich that doesn’t melt!”
Oops! Thought this was the iphone 5…lol! Google rocks!
“Come on guys. This is for my wife. She’s been complaining my unit is too small, so I have to get her something bigger.
…And by the way, iOS 6 is coming soon, with new cool features like face unlocking, scrollable widgets, and iBeam.”
Yeah… my contract is up and I’m finally able to upgrade! Buh-bye nexus one… hello galaxy nexus! Whoot Whoot! I got ICS! I got ICS!
“So then Jobsy says to me, ‘look; you can either have an iphone or an Android, but I won’t let you be seen in public with an Android if you’re name is associated with my company’ and I told him ‘well look what good an Apple a day did you, go make me an Ice Cream Sammich’ and that was the last time I saw him”
Wait, what??? All this power and No Siri??? Anyone know how to use this thing? I’m gonna need some help over here.
HO HO HO! (come on, he does look like Santa!)
Woz: “Beam me up, Siri.”
“I was holding my corndog like this when the carnie I bought it from hit me with a giant stuffed monkey and stole it. I only got to take 3 bites.”
“If you tell anyone that I was here, I will punch you in the face.”
SSSSssshhhh. Don’t tell anyone I was here. You aren’t going to post that picture on-line are you?
WOW!!! Thanks!!! You guys at Google are great! Steve used to make me wait in those ridiculous lines at the Apple Store on launch day just to get an iPhone.
I created the truffle shuffle not that blubbering piece of jelly from the Goonies who couldn’t handle his shit when it got real!
I want a mount for my Segway, now!
Nom nom nom! One phone to rule them all!
Good morning. In less than an hour, Google will be launching the Galaxy Nexus in the most anticipated release in the history of Android and all other smart phones. “Android.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by the inferior features and lackluster update of the iPhone 4s anymore! We will be united in our common interests to have a superior smart phone! Perhaps it’s fate that Google is releasing this Galaxy Nexus, and you will once again be in posession of the most powerful, innovative smart phone on the planet. Not only will you have the ability to play Flash and have a larger screen …but most importantly, you will never be tied to iTunes again! We are fighting for our right to be free and open source! To not have an inferior smart phone! And when you each receive your Galaxy Nexus today, Galaxy Nexus release day will no longer be known as an Android day, but as the day Apple employees and iPhone owners alike declared in one voice: We will not be told what to do by Siri! We will no longer be embarrased of our small screen! We’re going to move up! We’re going to upgrade! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!
Okay…now who’s with me!?!
“Android 7.0… Wow..!!! it is like all of us are at the same place…”
Where’s the chocolate outside?
“Nexus Prime, oh how I love the. I want everyone to know it. I just can’t help but show it. How smoothly you fit into the palm of my hand. How crisp and clear you’ll play the tunes of my favorite band. Oh Nexus Prime we were meant to be together. We’ll enjoy technological bliss forever. You and I will rule the world just you wait and see. We’ll build an even bigger empire of little green men and live so happily. Like Jay-Z said I love you so. But unlike Jay-Z I’ll always know. No worms inside of you or sourness. No Patent Infringements or bitterness. Not ancient like the monster of the Loch Ness. Deep blacks and Vibrant Reds. You’re surely going to turn more than a few heads. No Apple’s, no oranges, just pure Ice Cream Sandwich. Sorry people I’m overwhelmed with joy and feeling like Santa Claus with the best gift in my hand. Now beat it I have some fun to get to”
Steve Wozniak reacting to the news that Ice Cream Sandwich will not, in fact, be ported to the Apple II.
“Who wants a new Galaxy Nexus??”Steve Wosjiak said.
“What the hell is that?”One guy yell.
“Something better than iPhone 4S!” Steve replied.
“Are u from Apple?”Another guy said
” Damn YES!”Steve replied.
I don’t need to wait for Verizon to release it. I’m the Woz! Lowell McAdam ain’t got nuthin’ on me!
You poor suckers, you thought it was being released in November, thats just for special people like me. You guys get to wait until late Q2 2012, sucks to be you.
Steve, “Why is everyone staring at me?… awkward ice cream sandwich…oh well, I got the galaxy nexus and you don’t, mwuahahaha…hehe, okay, im going to stop now before the buff guy in the red shirt beats me up…I’m just going to leave now…”
the Asian guy in the back,”I hope he realizes that we didn’t actually give him the phone yet…just the paperwork explaining that he isnt eligible…”
“I’m gonna pound anyone who tries to take my ice cream sandwich!”
iNexus
Oh crap I think steve is face timing me from the grave told you guys he was gonna find out!
“If anyone asks I found this in a bar”
Hey I’d love to stay and chat, but that meeting took way too long and I GOTTA take a dump! Anyone point me towards the nearest crapper?
“ACK! …Oh, excuse me. I’ve been studying female behavior by reading the comic strip ‘Cathy’.
Whenever she gets upset, she cries “ACK!” and eats ice cream.”
“I thought it was an iPhone5! Samsung always copies Apple!”
I actually hoped to win a galaxy Nexus, but a galaxy tab is nice too :D
As always find me on G+
Oh! Oh! Oh!!
ICE CREAM SANDWICH!?!? …is it Napoleon flavored?! Yummay!
An XS shirt ?!? Why I oughta……
“Thank u….Thank u Google”!!!…..”I thought I was gonna have to enter that DAMN Phandroid contest in order to get one….And with my luck I’d probably WIN!!!!
I’d love to stay and chat but that meeting took way tooooo long and I gotta crap! anyone point me to the nearest toilet?
What do you mean this doesn’t sync with my segway?!?!?!
“Say it with me everyone ‘Te-Bow, Te-Bow, Te-Bow”
“……….. …. …..” (Rest of the Crowd)
Woz: “Beam me up, Siri.
Coach Sparano says that this Galaxy Nexus will help me kick more field goals. FIST-PUMP!!!
Summoning his inner WOZ-Z….
“I got a billion ways to get it…Chose the FREE one
Now double your money by switchin to ANDROID
I’m on to the next one…
On to the NEXUS
On to the NEXUS
On to the NEXUS
Hold up, FREEZE…somebody toss this iPhone please!”
You mad bro?
So Steve and I walk into this bar and who do you think we see? F’ing Bill, that SOB. We walk over challenge him to a game of pool where after every miss you have to drink a shot. By the end of the night we took this picture… AH hhahahahha, ah man those were the days.
Steve Wozniak said he would have been first in line for the new Galaxy Nexus, but got impatient with the lack of an official release date and decided to camp out at Google instead.
What he said: This is actually a really good and competitive phone. I like it a lot.
What he thought: Will it blend?
(Guy on far right): Psst! I got Steve’s nose. Take a look…he’s as mad as hell about it too!”
Gathers a crowd and sings “I’m so excited and I just can’t hide itI’m about to lose control and I think I like itI’m so excited and I just can’t hide itAnd I know I know I know I know I know I want you” (:
I never really believed the whole “Apple a day” nonsense.
I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich.
“Woo Hoo”!! (Homer Simpson style)
The first person to grab at my Nexus…. POW! right in the kisser!
I never really believed that “Apple a day” nonsense.
alright people stop following me all i want to do is go home and eat my ice cream sandwich!……I am not afraid to fart if you continue to follow me, beware they are the cause of the haiti and japan earthquakes dont ask what i was doing over there!
As Steve extolled the greatness of ice cream sandwiches,
a fist from Chuck Norris prepared to end the debate.
“I swear I’m only borrowing this so Apple can steal more feature ideas from the latest version of ICS to put in iOS 6.”
Look at all you Google people, all calm and smug. You think I don’t know what you are up to! Well I know you put Steve in one of those green robots of yours to reincarnate his conscious for WORLD DOMINATION.
Since it didn’t work you think because I really invented ALL the Apple stuff that I am next, well you are never going to take me alive.
…uhhhh… I hope that isn’t the same thing Steve said…..
Why is everyone so surprised I got a Google Galaxy Nexus? I’m rational, not ignorant, Jobs…
Oh Goodie! A giant ice cream sandwich!
“I came over here to get this Galaxy Nexus phone, because I heard a rumor that Google believed in introducing brand new phones, as opposed to re-introducing the same phone over and over again with a different number or adding a letter to it. I mean come on, what a concept, huh? For crap’s sake, this thing has a screen larger than 3.5″. Who’d they hire from NASA to think that one up?”
“back away you android fans. I’m still confused as to why I’m getting this phone. At least google doesn’t make me wait in line like I had to do to get a 4S.”
” Being a Freemason has its perks, now add me into your Illuminati G+ circles”
Good Guy Engineer
“Helps found Apple computers”
“Prefers Function over Form”
http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/11/11545/11822991.jpg
I’m thinking of changing my name to Fozzy because I’m just a big “bear” and I can’t stop saying “Wocka Wocka Wocka”. GRRRRRRRR
“…So then I punched that Siri b*itch with a stiff right hook… 80 and sunny my @$$!”