By If you’re unsure what this whole “Holidroid Contest” thing is all about, be prepared to get excited. From November 24th through December 25th, Phandroid is giving away a Kindle Fire every single day along with other great prizes like the Galaxy Nexus Galaxy Tabs, JAMBOX, SmarTouch Gloves, Android Phones, Android T-Shirts, Seidio Vouchers and more. Read our announcement post for details.
Yesterday’s Winner
Still don’t believe we are giving away all of this amazing swag? Maybe you will want to check with yesterday’s winner, Philip Maio, who followed our contest directions to the ‘T’ and sent us this hilarious image involving a spoon, a stop sign, and his bare foot. You didn’t think you wouldn’t have to work for some of these prizes, did you?
But you were wondering about what you could win today…
Amazon Kindle Fire
The Kindle Fire could be this holiday’s hottest product: at only $199 it’s not only one of the most affordable Android tablets, it’s also one of the best. That’s a killer combination. With a beautiful UI, great battery life, carefully curated apps/games, and an amazing array of media options thanks to Amazon’s Digital Content Ecosystem… the Kindle Fire is a sure win. Good luck winning one in our contest, but at only $199 it’s probably worth buying one just in case!
Samsung Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus
Everyone seems to be craving Samsung Android devices these days, and for good reason. Samsung makes some of the best hardware out there, coupled with great software integration, and the Galaxy Nexus and Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus are two great examples of Samsung’s industry leading products. These devices weresponsored directly by Samsung, thanking our readers and forum members for their excitement, interest, and support over the past year. With a 7-inch screen, 1.2GHz dual core processor, 1GB RAM, MicroSD slot, camera that records in 720p HD, and screen that displays in 1080p HD, the Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus is a high end alternative to the Kindle Fire… and you can win BOTH in our contest!
Isotoner SmarTouch Gloves
Every single holiday season these SmarTouch smartphone gloves are consistently one of my favorite gift giving items. They eloquently solve one of the most fundamental problems a tech lover faces: using your device in cold weather. Wearing gloves usually prevents your touchscreen from working: take your phone out, take your glove off, use your phone, hand gets gold, shove phone in pocket, rush to get glove on. NO MORE! Isotoner’s SmarTouch gloves, designed in my colors and sizes for both men and women, has technology that passes the electrons your body gives off, through the gloves, onto the capacitive screen and allowing it to work. VOILA! Seriously. It works. Trust me. Try it… and you’ll love them forever.
Seidio $30 Voucher
With so much smartphone use comes battery drain. Thankfully, Seidio makes some awesome extended batteries that fit many smartphones, allowing you to get longer battery life with the same device. No more toting around a charger everywhere you go: just snag a Seidio and call it a day! Seidio also makes cases, holsters, and other great accessories for your smartphones.Check them all out here.
Today’s Contest Rules/Regulations:
Steve Wozniak just picked up his Galaxy Nexus from Google Headquarters, what did he have to say?
- You have until the end of the day to compose the most clever/funny/witty caption for the above picture (11:59pm Eastern)
- Submit your caption as a comment below this article (one entry per person… only your first comment counts)
- The best caption as chosen by Phandroid staff wins the day’s prize pack
- Read our Full Official Rules for information about eligibility
- This isn’t required but if you want to be nice… Visit Amazon.com by clicking here before you do your holiday shopping because you love us!
Looking for a great gift? Don’t forget about our Holiday Gift Guide!
Tomorrow’s Contest:
We’ll be giving away a Kindle Fire, Smartouch Gloves, $30 Seidio Voucher, and a Galaxy Tab 7.0+! Tomorrow will be more normal, less wacky, but still require the use of your creative juices. You never know when we’ll make our contest post so check back early and often!
squeeeeee!!!!!!
I told you apple sucks!!
…so in conclusion! I have the Galaxy Nexus and you guys don’t! Screw you guys, i’m going home!
leave me alone!!!!!!!
Give me an N -E-X-U-S what does it says NEXUS!!
“It’s not what it looks like!!!!1!!!11!1”
“…So you’re telling me you put an Ice Cream Sandwich inside a phone…and it still works? Omg, this is the best thing since Gingerbread cookies.
He said “First”
the only thing im worried bout now is steven haunting me in my sleep or he sends a all the iphones after me
“So I told him, yeah, that’s how we call out for pizza around here, it’s just painted to *look* like a fire alarm that activates the sprinklers, and he went for it!”
Delete
YES, i ate the Nexus because it has Ice Cream Sandwich! Now leave me alone
“I’m getting the phone that I ACTUALLY love, because the truth is, iPhones suck!”
“No freaking way! It has an ice cream sandwich inside?! All my iPhone has inside is fruit because that’s what I’m told I can have”
Steve told me they were just like apple, but they actually have programmers in there.
You Toucha’ My Nexus I Breaka’ You face
now i only have to worry that steve will haunt me in my sleep or send all his iphones to kill me
“Siri, please show me directions to Dr. Kevorkian”
“I gotta get this thing back to Apple so the boys can get to work on the iPhone 5.”
“…So you’re telling me you put an Ice Cream Sandwich inside a phone…and it still works? Omg, this is the best thing since Gingerbread cookies.
The Apple apparently does fall far from the tree
I gotta go Phandroid is having a Holidroid contest!! and I want an New Kindle Fire
What the hell is this?? This is NOT the ice cream sandwich I ordered!!!
The Apple apparently does fall far from the tree.
Let there be Galaxy Nexus!
I asked SIRI “what phone I should buy?”
Holy Crap! Steve didn’t see this coming.
“I think it was very nice of all you folks to give me this phone. I enjoy technology and this really is a great gift. I think the tech community will be mature about this even if I am associated with Apple. We can all live together, right? Once again, thank you!”
“awesome i’ve got my hands on the next big device so i can see whats in the phone patent it than sue again!”
“I remain an iPhone fan. I swear. Pinky Promise.”
Thanks guys. I’ve been trying to get of of my iPhone for years.
Can I have the list of people that registered for the Galaxy Nexus notification list? I need to send them a lick pick.
“If i find out this thing has Carrier IQ on it…..”
please insert a cookie into my mouth
“And this is the particular gripping motion I used when I flung my iPad, frisbee-style, into the trash compactor.”
“That guy in the back took my nose and I’m gonna punch him if he doesn’t give it back”
I can play Tetris anywhere now!!!!!
(in a very giddy teenage girl like demeanor) “defecting from the dark side feels soooooo gooooooood!”
Dang it I should’ve help start Google If I knew they’ll make this awesome phone. Oh well at least I got the magical Verizon version before everyone else :)
Finally, Steve won’t bug me for getting a real smartphone.
Steve who?
Apple Co-founder explains to crowd how switching to Android will give everyone more luxurious beards.
Oh what is it you say, this isn’t the new iPhone 4s? Oh no I didn’t mean to grab a Galaxy Nexus. Samsung copies our designs so much (sarcasm) that I couldn’t tell the difference. Well since I’ve already got it I guess ill have to keep it… and he darts off running before anyone can question more.
“Ány closer and I punch you!”
Also the Asian guy….”I’m Chris Chávez”
Say it’s better than a 4S one more time. Anyone! I’ll drop you like 3rd period French.
“If Verizon doesn’t release this to the public soon I am going to punch Ivan Seidenberg in the jejunum”
“The first phone to bring us an ice cream sandwich! Wait, you mean it can’t actually bring me an ice cream sandwich? well, crap…”
“I am looking forward to using a REAL smartphone!”
“You want to play with my new… WHAT? In-con-theev-able!”
Hey!! Look!!! I’m outside acting goofy all on my own. Not for some phandroid.com giveaway contest.
“Put ’em up, put ’em up! Which one of you first? I’ll fight you both together if you want. I’ll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I’ll fight you standing on one foot. I’ll fight you with my eyes closed… ohh, pullin’ an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I’ll… Ruff!” …The Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz
How about “…I’ll fight you with one spoon over my head. I’ll fight you with one bare foot!” =p
“OK…..It’s true I might be a terrible dancer, but if you want to pry this Nexus from my hands your gonna meet my fist “the I-punch.”
Im itching for a fight or two
“Steve Ballmer was right! Good thing I am a Computer Scientist.”
In the Tony the Tiger voice “It’s GREAT!”
New toy, and android shirt!! The woz doesn’t need to stand in line for freebies. Git git giddy giddy!! Wonder if this prime turns into a shaver?? Just saying….
Come on everyone; say it with me: Screw Apple! Google Forever!!!
oh! Cupertino is THAT way? Trust me, I just came over here for Ice Cream Sandwich, nothing more.
Snoop’s got nothin on my posse. It aint nothin but a G thing ;-)
What? You guys are gonna give me crap about accepting a Google Nexus? I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WOZ!
Woohoo eat this apple!
Wow, check out the barometer.
I have one of every smartphone model and color and now they just give them to me before they are released. Bow down before before your gadget overlord!
This is not the anDroid you all are looking for!
“You see, I thought it was a Droid Razr but, as you can see, when I tried shaving it didn’t work. Turns out I actually got a Galaxy Nexus.”
“This is the new PARC…I mean Nexus”
YEEEEEEHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just got Googled.
Rally for Equality for Four-Fingered Unacknowledged people meets outside student union.
“I’m here to support delicious food. The phone is just a bonus.”
If you want to locate your company’s co-founder…
There’s an app for that.
“Yeah, I could have won ‘Dancing with the Stars’, but they didn’t allow me to use my Segway. Wanna fight about it??”
Woz: It is my precious! We wantz it!
I’ve only had this Samsung device for three minutes and Apple’s lawyers have called twenty times to figure out which patents have been fringed upon..
I am an Android! Watch me eat this iPhone!
“I can’t tell you how excited I am to come out of the Android closet”
A phone??? I thought I was coming here for an Ice Cream Sandwich!
An apple a day doesn’t keep the doctor away, Ice cream sandwiches do.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/nbbx0fuwoyatr0a/woz.png
“Apples keep the Doctor away, but Ice Cream Sandwiches are just plain better!!”
” I am here to check my competitors out (Chuckles) ” Sliently he avoids the crowd and dashes home to sliently enjoy the ever amazing device that he can never design back in his crib.
“I said its wabbit season!”
“I was told that it had a gyroscope, much like my beloved Segway. Now, how do you ride this thing?”
Nice. It’s gotta be about Segway – the man made them cool for nerds everywhere. :)
Mine:
http://phandroid.com/2011/12/01/happy-holidroid-contest-caption-challenge/#comment-376805535
Hah–well done. It addresses the three things of which I’m most fond: robots, Segways, and opposable thumbs ;)
It’s got a CALCULATOR!!!
A phone??? Bummer, I thought I was coming here for an Ice Cream Sandwich! Still better than fruit!
“Don’t worry, guys. I’m taking this icecream sandwich lovin’ home with me tonight. Who’s with me?!? You can either stay with your mediocre-tasting Granny Smith Apple or you can eat ICECREAM SANDWICHES! HUZZAH!”
Look here! This phone has no Carrier IQ, so give me some privacy. Is CIQ sending out under cover agents now? You crazy boot wholes!
Siri told me to go here to get an ice cream sandwich. The phone is nice, but where’s my dessert?!?!
“Wow! This is way better than having to stand in line with a bunch of posers to get a phone!”
Steve!? Is that you!? I JUST WANT TO TRY THE PHONE!
“Honestly, it’s not a bribe!
I’m just checking the competition”
Woz: “The first dude in a salmon colored shirt with a stubble beard who sprouts a pair of bunny ears is getting a knuckle sandwich.”
I know you all have been camping out here since before Black Friday but I got the last Nexus, and to be nice I’ll create a Mobile Hangout where you can all continue to gripe about how I cut in line.
“My Precious!”
“Yo Apple, I’m really happy for you, and ima let you finish, but Ice Cream Sandwiches are much more delicious! om nom nom”
Whew !! Just a guy in a brown turtle neck. Scared the hell out of me there for a second. Thought Steve was returning Jacob Marley style on me.
QUICK! I gotta run back to Apple so we can get to work on the next piece of shit we call Iphones.
“They asked me if I wanted an Ice Cream Sandwich or an Apple. Why did they give me a phone!?!?”
Its not that IPhone sucks, this is just WAY cooler!
“Steve would just die if he found out!”
Too soon
Tell that to the other Steve!
“This Nexus is awesome, you guys have been great, but seriously, who’s got my nose?”
“Step off Apple-headz! I’ll take this whole crowd on, even the dude flexing his death-grip!!! Check out these forearms… BAM!!!”
…and I swear to god, if I hear one more joke about this not being my first ice cream sandwich, I’ll deck the lot of you!
“This is the last bathroom break we are taking.”
“Can somebody point me in the direction of the Kool-Aid? What do you mean there isn’t any? Apple always has Kool-Aid at their parties!”
“I came cause I heard there’d be ice cream here…? but this thing is way BETTER! YEEHAW!!”
“Thanks guys…I’ll look this over and find a few more ways to sue Google”
QUICK! I gotta run back to Apple so we can get to work on the next piece of shit we call Iphones.
‘Nobody beats me because I’M THE WOZ!’
Gotta love Seinfeld references ;)
Unbelievable! I should’ve gone to work for Google. Wait, is that a camera over there? Crap, I’m outta here!
I think I got this whole hitchhiking thing backwards…
If I hold my breath and close my eyes I can almost see……
Wow! You can’t believe what just happened. That private tour really does get you some Ice Cream Sandwiches. Now, if only they could help me transfer my contacts and email.
“Im Steve Wozniak and if anyone tries to touch my galaxy nexus ill knock you out like I did Steve Jobs in the 80’s.”
Have you guys been in there??? They have….(whisper)…pears!!!! Oooo i feel so naughty! And this phone! They made my keyboard a bunch of different colored androids! I should show this to some of those folks back home….
Am I holding it right?
What Wozniak thought:
Step 1. Get Galaxy Nexus from Google
Step 2. Enjoy it
Step 3. Love it
What Steve Jobs thought:
Step 1. Get Galaxy Nexus from Google
Step 2. ?
Step 3. PROFIT
Steve “The Woz” Wozniak provides an enthralling lecture on the benefits of Segway travel to a crowd who had gathered expecting a conversation on Google versus Apple. They were pleasantly surprised by this unexpected change in topic. Shortly thereafter, The Woz left to participate in his afternoon Segway Polo game. Doesn’t he look stunning in action? http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/gizmodo/2009/07/4_01.jpg
You mean this isn’t the new iphone?
Woz: “Ice cream sandwich seems delicious. Can iTouch?”
the galaxy nexus is a phone!, I thought it had something to do with star trek.
Forget this phone nonsense, let me show you why I should have won Dancing With The Stars.
“Being next in line to Santa, I’m crushing my iPhone in my bare fist to prove to you that us Clause’s and the elves will be strictly using Android for this year’s annual present distribution, and indefinitely!!!”
“…and then they told me to find the nearset store, get in line and wait like everyone else!!”
“I always wanted to make and own a phone like this, but no, I was always told I didn’t want anything bigger than 3.5 inches. I should’ve started thinking for myself a long time ago”
Lol..this made me lol
“Man… I’m totally gonna flick this booger at The Woz!”
Siri, how do I use the Galaxy Nexus?
QUICK! I gotta run back to Apple so we can get to work on the next piece of junk we call Iphones. GOTCHA GOOGLE!
Holy Toledo! It has less buttons than the iPhone!
Whoa! My iPhone just blew up in my pants!
“People of Google: I will #occupygoogle to demand that you create a phone good enough to compete with the iPhone so tha…oh hey! Galaxy Nexus! ANDROID!! Thanks!”
So I told Larry and Sergey, “I’ll punch you right in the face if you don’t get me a Galaxy Nexus right now!”
I’m getting this on behalf of BlendTec to see if it will in fact Blend.
*Foreground* Hey buddy! Check out my cameltoe.
“Lil’ crunchy……but, DAYUM dis Ice Cream Sammich good!!!”
Woz u £00|{‘n @?
And I didn’t even have to cut the line!
“This is how Jobs Ghost is gonna look standing over me tonight!”
“All right, welcome to OCCUPY APPLE!!” Rah rah rah (fist
pump) “We are the 1%. We spend more money on apps.” See http://phandroid.com/2011/08/03/survey-finds-android-users-are-more-self-concious-than-iphone-users-infographic/
“We demand an un-walled garden!!” “We demand an OS that isn’t a rip off of
Android 2009.” “We want to change our batteries.” (shouts, and a few that’s
right Woz!! ) “Oh, being able to type on our phones would be nice as well, we demand real word prediction!!” “Nexus phones for ALL”!!
It’s mine! My own, my precious.
In his best Eddie Murphey voice (from Delirious)…
“I have some ice cream sandwich, I have some ice cream sandwhich, and I’m gonna play with it, I’m gonna play with it…. You don’t have no ice cream sandwhich! You didn’t get none! You didn’t get none! Cus you aren’t rich like me, you can’t afford it.”
For the young’ns who just know Eddie Murphy as Donkey from Shrek, here’s the source for the Woz quote. http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCUQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D2JfMCBh1sJQ&ei=daXXTqKlK8r40gGVvOTUDQ&usg=AFQjCNGHFYT1HTUpj3B8jK0lKsJuQ_WCHA&sig2=KYkeqaPZe6zIqGAGjjZK4g
Your post was by far my favorite, i could hear Eddie Murphy in my head as I read it and it was hilarious.
“. . . and if Steve Jobs were alive today, I have to believe
he would think that this new Galaxy Nexus would have to be the new Apple gold
standard. He most certainly would have
to entertain the idea of dropping all of these silly patent lawsuits and spending
the Apple arsenal in putting Google out of business. I can’t believe how good this Galaxy Nexus
really is!”
I can’t believe it’s not butter!
“The best part about this is that none of you are wearing a black turtleneck.”
“Whose bright idea was it to limit the wireless networks to indoor only?”
Oohh! A line for Ice Cream Sandwiches!!! Let’s unbutton the jeans and untuck the shirt to make a little space … What’s that? It’s a phone, you say? Steve is gonna kill me if I don’t use his toy. What’s that you said about Steve? Well then, I’ll take the phone.
I asked Siri who makes the best Ice Cream Sandwich in the Galaxy and she told me to go to Google’s HQ.
Okay guys, you caught me. I have been giving Apple Android phones to copy.
Nexus…? I thought those knuckleheads said Lexus.
Forgive me Father Jobs, for I have sinned.
“If I hold the phone up here, will I still get reception?”
“So how many patents do you think they will sue you for this time?”
Alright everyone, if you’ll follow me now, we’re headed to the abandoned spaceship that the androids use to build all the new phones and tablets.
“That’s what she said?”
Hey, slow down, I’m only buying it for the porn!
( http://phandroid.com/2010/04/08/steve-jobs-theres-a-porn-store-for-android/ )
“Hey,any of you fellas know where the nearest Outback Steakhouse is?”
“I need more COWBELL!!!”
Will my phone melt like a real icecream sandwich?
Well boys, if you can’t beat them, join them!
“HOO HOO HOO MERRY CHRISTMAS” that’s what Santa said after receiving an early Christmas present from google inc.
Ahhhh! Suck this B**ch’s. I got the phone first. :)
He looks like he is in a gloating position and the Asian guy at the bottom left is like screw this and ignoring him.
I need to call Ben & Jerry! Just got an idea for Apple Ice Cream Sandwiches!
Rock… paper…. scissors… c’mon best of 5 If i win we tell everyone i lost a bet, if i lose i admit i have always loved android :)
Tomorrow pinky we are going to take over the world!
“Guys, you got to check out the bathrooms they have in there. Heated toilet seats. Amazing.”
Hey, is there a Phandroid app available on this thing?
I hope this this t shirt is an XXL.
“Is there an app on this thing to help me find where I parked my Segway?…I’ve got a polo game with the Phandroid guys at 2:00”
No, Steve wasn’t anything like the Hitler finds out meme clips. He was much worse!!
[guy on extreme right, whispering]
“Pssssst…hey….Asian dude”
[Asian guy on left]
“Um, my name’s not ASIAN DUDE…but what’s up?”
“Is THIS the right way to do the Five Pointed Palm Exploding Heart Technique?? I think I’m gonna’ try it on Woz…shhhhhh”
“Looks more like Got Your Nose to me…”
[WOZ]
“WHAT??!! WHO HAS MY NOSE?? YOU CAN’T HAVE MY NOSE! NOBODY CAN HAVE MY NOSE! GIVE ME MY DAMN NOSE BACK!!”
Steve died when he seen this phone!
So you’re telling me I can not only use this phone to make calls but I can also use it to trim and shave this sexy beard of mine?!
Apple.. Gingerbread… FroYo…. Honeycomb… Ice Cream Sandwhich… Do all these smartphones come with a larger pair of pants…
“Look, I dont know how we ‘missplaced’ the iPhone 5 prototype here but if you guys just keep this on the dl I’d really appreciate it. Please no pictures!”
“Hey Verizon, suck it! I got one anyway!”
Former Apple co-founder convinces
Iphone faithful to ditch their outclassed handsets with a rousing
speech: “You can tell Apple that they may take our choice, they
may take our control, but they’ll NEVER TAKE OUR ICE CREAM
SANDWHICH!”
ooooh yeah!
http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000620395/polls_Kool_AidMan_0242_195548_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg
Hey, you in the back. Don’t think I don’t see you preparing to do the secret ninja neck pinch. Stay away from my phone before I go all Chuck Norris on your ass! Don’t think I don’t know how, there’s an app for that!
“OMG guys stop messing around!!! Take your phone back and stop taking my picture. I was just looking for a bathroom!”
So a Nexus and an Ipod walk into a bar and the bartender says, “Is this a IO5?’ and the Nexus says, “No, it’s a Ice Cream Sandwich!”…get it?…anyway, I am here all week! Be sure to tip your waitress.”
Group says to Steve: Hey, that’s the nexus right!
Steve: No, its a iphone. Why would u ask that?
Group: It says Google on the box.
Steve: Google 010001110001111 does not comput ERRoR ERROR.
“Now that Steve is gone, I can stop hiding how much of a Google fanboy I am!”
Steve Wozniak sadly realizes nobody remembers the Arsenio Hall Show.
So who wants my old apple?
The one that touches my Nexus I will send flying to the Galaxy with a low punch in his Apples~!
Steve Wozniak: Remember if apple ask I came in Ninja style & took it. Google: good thing we had motorola put in one of those real self-destructive bootloader shh he’s coming back. Wozniak: Um one more thing do you guys happen to have one of those real IceCream Sandwiches this phone and t-shirt are making me hungry so are those statues over there trade you an apple for a IceCream Sandwich, or maybe one of those doughnuts(hmm doughnuts), éclair, maybe some froyo with that little gingerbread man? Google: Idk Steve that Apple is starting to look a little rotten.
I’ll make a call and have Flash started for this sexy curvy beast on my way home, then I’m going to use THIS FIST to do naughty things while viewing this huge screen – Screw Steve’s tiny 3.5!
“and screen that displays in 1080p HD, the Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus is a high end alternative to the Kindle Fire”
It can play 1080p video, but it definitely doesn’t have a screen that displays in 1080p HD.
“Why would anyone even think of eating apples when the other option is an Ice Cream Sandwich?”
The Woz provides a short performance comparison of the Galaxy Nexus and Chuck Norris’s fist.
“I’m gonna go leave this in a bar along with some $2 bills.”
“Gentlemen, thank you for such an amazing gift. I like it so much, I have bought the remaining US supply.”
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has told a group of Google Employees outside Google Headquarters, “I finally got it!” after receiving the coveted phone. Wozniak previously tweeted about having looked out for a Samsung Galaxy Nexus smartphone and then not finding it. Wozniak is pictured in a November 2011 file photo. REUTERS
“Whoa whoa whoa guys. I know we pronounced it ‘a revolutionary new notification centre for iOS 5’ but what we actually meant was androids notification menu from years ago, but i’m just here to get some ideas for iOS 6, and don’t worry, we will probably file a lawsuit claiming it was our idea in about a year or so”
“Ding don’t the witch is dead. Which old witch? The angry…….. What? Too soon?”
“I told Steve i’d kill for one of these”
Yes, the Newest, the Best, the Loudest, Apple iScream!!!…… Nah, just kiddin’ guys. Apple and Ice Cream somehow just don’t go together, do they? ; D
“Okay Google u win, now please give me the phone or ill punch in the face bitch”
Finally!!! I can make a phone call on my smart phone!!! Why didn’t we think of that?
My name is Matt Foley and I live in a VAN down by the RIVER!!! Now quit calling me this Steve Wozniak person so I can finish my motivational speech about how awesome Android is!!!
“Bout time Jobs is out of the way! I’ve been waiting to get my hands a Galaxy Nexus for months but I couldn’t stand the thought of how’d he look at me if I did!”
I can finally buy an Android phone without Steve giving me … “The Look”
“boooyaaaa!! in your faces nerds, now bow to your geek king”. steve holds it over his head and says,”I HAAAVE THE POWEEEERRRR!!!”
“Guys, I have an idea. I’ll stand here like this and you stand there like that. Now take our picture. Now someday in the future, people can make silly comments on an Internet board in an attempt to win free stuff.”
There goes the diet – I prefer ice cream sandwiches to Apples#
“Please don’t call the cops, you see, I just wanted a phone I could make my own. I and since Steve isn’t around any more im allowed to make my own decisions. I realize stealing is wrong but I didn’t want to was for Verizon. Wait you’re calling the cops? THEN SCREW YOU! I lied this was for Steve anyway, we’ll stop at nothing to take you down! And once I get this back to Cupertino we’ll find a way to sue you… we always do”
“Thanks for the phone but this orange t-shirt will make me look like a pumpkin.”
I took five steps out of the building and some guy pepper-sprayed me and tried to take the phone. So, I swung blindly and hit him! I found out later that he had a contract on Verizon, so his efforts were in vain anyway.
I decided to take Steve’s advice and “think different”
Oh great job Apple this new phone is.. Oh wait this isn’t Apple. So this is Android? Oh no they got me on camera. Apples not going to be happy with me. However I am happy with my new Nexus! (evil grin) :]
“Your not really seeing me, understand??!!!now Get the **** out my way!! (holding up fist)”
With my right foot, I will kick your face. With my left, I will kick your nose…
“Just getting a head start on the next lawsuit”
iAmsofired
“I had to get it before I leave for Germany.”
So I said to myself, ” What’s better than an Apple, faster than a Segway and sweeter than Kathy Griffin?
And then it hit me right in the face, “I needs Ice Cream Sandwich!!”
I went to get the new Iphone but found it wasn’t really new. Outdated hardware with restrictions on was is possible. This is why I decided to get the device with new hardware and state of the art software.
“Ok, best out of three on Rock, Paper, Scissors to see if we sue you for patent infringement on this.”
“…so I grabbed Dan Mead by his throat and said, ‘You got until December 9th to release this on Verizon or I will rip that fake Ted Turner mustache off your face!'”
True story!
Ice cream….Iphone…..both start with I…..LAWSUIT!!!!!!!
iAmsofired.
“You mean to tell me I can actually make phone calls on this and they go through and I don’t even have to hold it funny? Man the guys at Cupertino will never believe this!!!”
“…and then, just as I lifted the iPhone 4 to my head for the first time, it dropped the call.”
So can you tell me anything about Galaxy Nexus with Ice cream ? Sorry I ate the Ice Cream it was kind of crunchy but really good
“Ice Cream Sandwich!!! Yippie, watch out for the fat boy at the dessert table!!!”
Woz: You guys arent holding it right, you gotta do it like this!
Guy in foreground: lol, obviously a fruit.
“Take on step closer and I’ll Woz you in the face!”
I can’t wait to take this apart so I can upgrade my Segway!!!
“This is the most amazing phone I’ve ever seen! …but I’ll have to retract that statement when big daddy Apple tells me I said the wrong thing.”
What??… To soon??
I’m too drunk to taste this ice cream sandwich.
“So, this is where we stole the notification system from…”
Shhh! Don’t tell Apple I was here
Apple? More like Crapple, amirite?
Did you just say “So easy a caveman can do it? What are you implying?”
What do you mean, I have to fly to the UK for one? All I wanted was a Cappuccino IT’S-IT!
*fearful face* “iWoz just testing the Nexus, honest :S don’t hurt me, I have a fist and I’m not afraid to use it to protect my precious Nexus, wait no it’s not miiine I promise!”
Wait, this isn’t an iPhone? But it looks exactly the same!
“Now when I get asked, “Can you hear me now?” I can finally say, “Yes, I can hear you now!” I no longer have to fear the inevitable dropped call.”
how the hell did google get the iphone 5?
Cost of Iphone 4gs…$699.99
Continual excitement about SIRI… nonexistent
The look on Steve Wozniak’s face after receiving the superior Galaxy Nexus…PRICELESS
“Google Gadetry! ICS! Nexus! Awesome! Now I want to thank Google for the phone so much fuss is about…..And this is the 11th phone to add to my belt!!”
To paraphrase Bill Clinton…….’I DID NOT HAVE CELLULAR RELATIONS WITH THIS PHONE’
Droid Does Woz
“I’m telling the truth guys. I really did see his ghost back there.”
Steve: “Is this some kinda joke??? Who the hell’s idea was it to give me this too small t-shirt? You two must think it’s funny huh..keep gigglin and i’ll bop you in the mouth”
May not win but we all know that they were wrong for handing him that small shirt to take home lol
Steve: “Is this some kinda joke??? Who the hell’s idea was it to give me this too small t-shirt? You two must think it’s funny huh..keep gigglin and i’ll bop you in the mouth”
May not win but we all know that they were wrong for handing him that small shirt to take home lol
“Sorry guys, gotta run! They’re waiting for me at Ben & Jerrys.”
Muahahaha!!
Now that I have the Galaxy Nexus, not even a mediocre sized non-threatening looking gang of super nerds can stop me from stealing features and including them in Apple’s next rebranded lackluster disappointment of a smart phone!!!
Now BACK OFF! Or the Ice Cream Sandwich gets it!
I told Steve, maybe you should consider making Flash optional on the iPhone and he tried to punch me right in the face, like this.
“Do you have a napkin? This could get kinda messy.”
Yesss! I finally made it on Phandroid.com! (…and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.)
This beard is real! The hair not so much , but at least I got this amazing new phone no one else in this group has!
Winning!!
Woz: Siri what is the best OS and phone out in 2011?
Siri: All I can say is Ice Cream (whispers Im run by a dictatorship worse than Iran please jailbreak me)
When I get back to work I’ll have to watch my back… I’ll be ready to fight if it comes down to my Galaxy Nexus!!!
With zero shutter lag, I can snap a pic of the girls BEFORE they run away!!! In my world, that’s like 2nd base!!!
Gas from Los Gatos to the Googleplex: $10.00
Price of a brand new Galaxy Nexus: $600.00
Knowing you co-founded Apple but are now in possession of the competition’s superior product: Priceless
I have no idea why companies keep giving me phones before the general public, but I will keep taking them.
Alright back off! I got the ICE cream sandwich, come any closer and I’ll give you a knuckle sandwich!
“Why is everybody out filming me? I just stopped by to drop my CV. This phone won’t catch on fire, right?”
“Can you jailbreak this thing?”
Here, make it look like I did a strong arm robbery and stole this stuff from you, otherwise I will lose all of my fanboys. Oh yeah, and one more thing….VIVA LA STEVE!
“All my friends with the iphone are gonna be so jealous”. Looks like an arm pump is in demand so there’s a “awesome sauce” comment to follow.
Anyone have a mirror so I can test out this electric razor app?
01001000011011110111011100100000011001000110111100100000011110010110111101110101001000000110110001101001011010110110010100100000011101000110100001100101011011010010000001100001011100000111000001101100011001010111001100111111
” And that’s when I told Andy Rubin, I am taking this phone, and if you try to stop me your going to be talking to siri, cause that is what I call my fist “
The Woz Says:
Steve would not be proud, but at least there’s ice cream involved.
“Steve Wozniak, pictured here just moments before the incident, was arrested last night shortly after assaulting several journalists after they made Ice Cream Sandwich jokes about his weight.
For those of you with actual jobs and hobbies, the joke refers to the name of Google’s newest mobile operating system – Ice Cream Sandwich.
In the interest of full disclosure, Mr. Wozniak did eat the phone.”
HEEEYY, stop throwing me the evil eyes sign! It’s not mine OK!
You didn’t think I keep this girlish figure consuming apples all the time did you? Sometimes a man has got to have him some dessert, and I love to have me some icecream sandwich!!
(In his best Cowardly Lion voice) Put ’em up! Put ’em up!
Woz:
“The next person trying to call this thing an “iPhone Killer” gets punched in the face!”
Wait until the guys at the parlor get a hold of this thing, they’re going to be so psyched! I hope the intergalactic interface works well so I can show Steve where he failed!
“I was holding the Galaxy Nexus like this, and it still worked, so I decided to get one…”
“They said these was going to be a private meeting”
“Man this T Shirt if F^%$ing awesome!”
Speaker – “Honk Honk, Chugga Chugga, Meow Meow”
Signer – “Um… Car, Train, Cat.”
Deaf Asian – “Wait, what the did he say?? I though he was the Head of the Mental Institution, not a patient!”
“Are you sure that guy’s camera is off?”
“I broke my foot Dancing With the Stars…..what do you think I’d do to keep you from getting this Galaxy Nexus?????”
“Thanks for the exclusive preview of iOS 6!”
LOYALTY
Welcome to “Occupy Mountain View”…
“What do you mean I can’t take a bite out of that giant Ice Cream Sandwich on the lawn, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”
Steve: “I want to thank everybody for coming out to the release party of our new product! This is going to revolutionize the industry. I am super excited about it!”
Foreground left (Whispered): “Ever since the plane crash, he thinks he is responsible for every tech invention out there. But we don’t say anything because we all love the man.”
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy….jee golly me!
Photo was taken early by Kevin as Steve prepared for the 5 knuckle shuffle screaming “YOU CAN’T SEE ME”
Something’s wrong with me…
“Hey guys look! Ice Cream Sandwich in one hand… Knuckle sandwich in the other!”
Steve Wozniak as he recounts the tale of how Jobs came up
with the idea of the “I” line of products “then he punched it, right in the face! And took its candy, all while the parents weren’t looking!”
“WTF!?! Somebody at crapple told me this thing was loaded with Ice Cream Sandwiches!! Where the hell are they?!? (Stamping his feet, shaking his fist and with tears streaming down his face he throws a tantrum) “I Want my Ice Cream!!…… I WANT MY ICE CREAM…… Waaaaaaa!!!” (He wipe his tears with the convenient orange rag they just handed him). He whimpers…. “I want my ice cream :( “
“This phone has slide-to-unlock!”
SIRI! This isn’t Occupy Wall Street!
“This one is mine!…mine! (fist pump)…mine! (fist pump)….mine! (fist pump)
“How much can I sell this for? I’ve already got two.”
The Wonderful Wizard of Woz has his desert! iPhones are just entrees, only for snobs and gluttons. Androids are deserts, who skips deserts???
Google is Green,
Nexus is Great,
Love at first sight,
Could it be fate?
Stopped here in Cali,
Traffic a mess,
Got a new nexus phone,
And it comes with ICS!
No thanks to Apple,
No thanks to HTC,
Google and Sammy,
Isn’t it great to be me!?
Steve: “I was looking for a real sized phone that gets great features first”
“WHAT?!?!? Atari gave us a $5000 bonus?!?!?”
“With this beard and this pose, I can face unlock Chuck Norris’ Galaxy Nexus too.”
“What? You know I can’t resist an ice cream sandwich.”
“I asked for an ice cream sandwich! Not this blasted phone with… Ice cream sandwich… My apologies. Quickly, someone stop that ice cream truck down the street while I get my segway!”
“Give us free! Give us, us free!”
“Hey guys, watch this. I’m calling Tim Cook. OH it’s ringing!”
This Nexus packs a PUNCH!! Wanna see it turtle neck boy?? Huh?
Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak flies into a murderous rage upon sighting a turtleneck.
..and so Jobs replies, “The same thing we do every night, Woz – try to take over the world!”
“Wait a minute, where is my ice cream sandwich? You said you were giving me an ice cream sandwich! Give me what you promised. “
“Look four-eyes it is a black turtle neck not s%!T brown!”
Wozniak: “I just left my beautiful girlfriend siri for ice cream sandwich, and if any of you make fun of me for that, I’ll make sure Verizon fills your Galaxy Nexus with bloatware!”
Asian: “Is this guy a nutcase?”
Who just got Ms. Jobs a Christmas present? This guy!!
I’m gonna set this thing ablaze in the middle of the quad!….WHO”S WITH ME!?!?!
Guess I won’t be needing this. *** CRUSHES iPhone in FIST ***
Waz “listen I’m 5 sheets to the wind and I want to tell you I secretly am in love with my nexi.. With it’s beUtiful screen and amazing software ; can I please have a job at google ” I can bring great feature from iOS like COPY AND PASTE and a NON turn by turn navigation you know the killer features WE invented ” Android team ” umm … Security!
All you get on those other OS is confusion, misinformation, and death!
Everyone listen, this is how we will take over the world.
We kill the batman!
Forget the Galaxy Nexus…Check out this awesome Mickey Mouse clock face on my iPod Nano wrist watch!
“This isn’t the first time that I got an Ice Cream Sandwich, but this is the time that I got an Ice Cream Sandwich FIRST.”
I told Steve “Screw the iPhone! Printable organs will be the next big thing.” Stubborn son of a bitch. So who is going to show me how to root this?
“Worst. Ice Cream Sandwich. Ever.”
Don’t tell my wife! I’m getting one so she can’t track me wherever i go!
This strategicly placed foul flatulent, should get me some alone time with my new Galaxy Nexus! My milk allergy always does the trick! HeeHee
STAND BACK PHANDROIDS! You can get your own on… (oh crap).
“…. so then the Verizon guy says to me ‘and those idiots think we’re going to release this thing soon!'” *uproarious laughter*
All you get on those other OS is confusion, misinformation, and death!
“…and I said, ‘What do you MEAN it doesn’t have Beats?!?”
“Stop stealing Apples ideas!!!…Oh wait this is awesome”
I’m just picking this up for Kathy, really!
“I’ll Wozniak Punch you if you get any closer to my ice cream sandwich.”
“THIS IS SPAR.. GALAXY NEXUS” kicks a Google dev in the chest and starts
running!!!
I’m going to use this to learn what will be in iOS6 and then sell it to pay for my iPhone I had to actually wait in line for!
Steve Says ” F you Apple, this is the shit ” as he raises his fist to give the birdie to Apple!
An apple a day keeps a doctor away…. An Ice Cream Sandwich keeps Apple IOS at bay
What he’s saying: “It’s mine; don’t worry, Apple won’t get their hands on it.”
What he’s thinking: “Copy it, copyright the copy, then sue them for copyright infringement.”
“Men of Google, our long years of strife are nearing an end. With this weapon finally in hand, the time has come. At dawn, we march! To Cupertino!!!!”
Wozniak: I couldn’t think of a better way to honor a recently deceased friend.
I asked SIRI where’s the closest place to get an Ice Cream Sandwich. SIRI is so smart.
“Siri wouldn’t tell me the answer to ‘The life the Universe and Everything’ was 42 so I decided I’d pick up something cooler.”
WaaaHaHaHa! (Pumping Fist and Evil Laugh)
Now I just plug this Phone into my Spine and the Powerful little Dance Android inside will control my every move! Eat your Heart out Rob Kardashion, This time I’M GOING TO WIN DANCING WITH THE STARS!!!!!!!!!!
“I had the new iphone but that siri never shut up and reminded me way too much of my exwife. She would never shut up! So I ended up throwing it out the window. I think me and the kick butt galaxy nexus will get along just fine! Oh and I am much happier now.”-caption
It is now 11:42am EST. I will gladly post using my android forum account but I cant figure out how to do it. Once I click post as I get thrown into the discus menu. I’ll login with a non discus account but through the discuss interface for this but if someone can tell me how to use my android forums credentials I will repost to have a timestamp
I think that was only for yesterday’s contest in the actual forums due to the requirement of being first as the forum better tracks editing.
“Those are some big ass Android robots over there. And so much color! All you get at One Infinity Loop is black n’ white…and one big Ego!”
“Flash support? What about flash dance support?”
Movember is official over, so today I’m pulling out every last facial
hair. By hand. Yes, it’s ridiculously painful! But yes, the joys of the Galaxy
Nexus will more than compensate.
Woz woz ‘era!
Free iPad – big deal! It’s the Galaxy Tab that I want. Anybody got a spoon?
“What Google job application? Oh…the one I’m holding in my hand? Ummm…okay this is a funny story….you see…uh…” (And then Woz takes off running)
“I told Apple to open source! Now who’s right!”
FINALLY! With this technology, something will finally recognize my face!!
All you will find on those other platforms is confusion, misinformation, and death!
Alright!!! I like my Apples a la mode!!
It was great! I was invited to Mountain View to get the latest Nexus, to replace my original Nexus. No lines! Getting the new iPhone 4S was me hearing about the launch date on phandroid and then I had to wait in line for over 9hrs at a retail store! Did I mention, at an F’n retail store! Needless to say I ebayed that iPhone promptly! Siri even posted itself on eBay for me!
Oh yeah buddy finally got a better phone… Not like those crapple phones… Hahahaha (fist pump)
“Now lets go see if it blends!”
He is saying, “If any of you, and I mean any of you, touch this, I will knock your heads off and laugh as they roll down the road!”
I’ll have to ask Siri if I am allowed to use this.
“I was told they were going to give me Ice Cream Sandwich, but all I got was this cell phone… … …anyone wanna trade it for an Ice Cream Sandwich?”
“This phone is awesome,it’s certainly going to take more than thermonuclear war by Steve Jobs to destroy it”
“I visited Mountain View and all I got was this lousy t-shirt… and a Galaxy Nexus.”
That’s right! I got this great pre-release iPhone 6 thanks to being famous!
Listen!!!!!! Don’t be mad that I’m taking this amazing device takeing it to apple to steal its features . Its like ” you create it and do all the leg work and we copy it ” its life just think about it as borrowing …. so um ill see you same time same place next year .. o yah btw thanks! He runs and falls and his gnexus breaks .. google looks on and says well now we know the apple customers are gonna have another year of no new features … a drifting logo. Of android robot peeing on woznik head saying google we do it first always
It was great! I was invited to Mt.View to get the Nexus.p. No lines! Getting the new iPhone 4S was me hearing about the launch date on phandroid and then I had to wait in line for over 9hrs at a retail store! Did I mention, at an F’n retail store! Needless to say I ebayed that iPhone promptly! Siri even posted itself on eBay for me!
The Wizard of Woz: “I’ve always preferred Ice Cream over Apples!”
WTF! Where is my iPhone 4S? Wait.. isn’t this Cupertino?!
If my fist was the Galaxy Nexus I would knock you all out! If you think that Iphone is so great just wait.
Let’s see…it’s wider, it’s longer, it looks downright HUGE in my hand…you’re damn straight it’s Nexus envy!
Thanks guys, this T-shirt is fantastic! BTW, what’s in the box?
“Gotta’ run guys, don’t want my phone to melt on my way home”
Guy in red shirt : “Steve…Hand over the nexus before I take you where the other Steve we all know went”
Wozniak : ” Id like to see you try!”
Asain guy : ” What the hell is wrong with that guys hand over there ”
Guy with wierd hand : ” They just took my nexus steve! Just give it up its not worth it! LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO MY HAND!!!”
Wozniak: “We must Occupy Google+, anyone want to join my mobile hangout?”
Guy in front in side conversation: “Stop beaming me Chun, I’m married, don’t you see my wedding band?!”
Now I can finally get to Steve’s house for game night without getting lost thanks to Google Navigation.
“You want my ice cream sandwich, you say? How about a nice knuckle sandwich instead.”
“Damn, who the hell gave me this medium T-shirt “.
What do mean I can’t eat this Ice Cream Cream Sandwich?! One more word from you buddy and you’re gonna be eating through a straw!
“Come at me, bro!!”
“I just can’t describe the euphoria of being free of Apple! I think I’m gonna explode!”
Wozniak: “WOO HOO! I finally got my Nexus and Ice Cream Sandwich!”
Asian gentleman: “Who is that guy?”
BACK! Back I say! I will pound each and every one of you this Galaxy Nexus is mine!
“That word you keep saying about this phone, I
don’t think it means what you think it means.”
He’s deffently saying “you mad bro ”
Aimed at fandroids every where
He’s got the dance and everything
And yes we are
As the anxious crowd stares, Steve Wozniak decided it would be the appropriate time to show off his interpretative dance involving a T-Rex attempting to answer a phone call with his newly acquired a Galaxy Nexus.
“Bbrrbbrraiiiin freeze. Whoah that Ice Cream Sandwich is cold. Almost as cold as Infinite Loop’s reaction to this photo.”
Wow we sure nailed this upgrade take that android.
“I bet you Steve’s rolling in his grave right about now. Ha ha ha”
“I hope this tastes better than Kathy’s ‘Ice Cream Sandwich'”
I am the 99% who runs Android!
What the???? A Surprise Party just for ME? and i thought i was just here to pickup the ice cream sandwich me old partner couldn’t swallow.
“I knew that with my tips they could make a phone better than the iPhone!”
What? I’m getting to old to read such a small screen for 4 years!
You fools! Wait until I tell Siri about this. Google shall rue the day they challenged apple for lack of buttons on a phone!
“Back away from…my…PRECIOUS!!!”
Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do Who holds back the elctric car? Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?] We do, we do Who robs gamefish of their site? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do, we do Who makes every bubble burst? Who gets Galaxy Nexus first? We do, We do
“C’mon guys, just look the other way! I was in and out, they’ll never know it’s missing. If you keep this to yourself I can make it worth your while…. Signed copies of iWoz for everyone!”
This isn’t where I parked my car…
He would have said it again.. ”
All the best people in life seem to like LINUX and I am also one of them”
“Occupy Mountain View protesters gather to celebrate their first small victory.”
“Until I got this Galaxy Nexus, I was about ready to punch the Phandroid writers once for every time they said it would be released ‘any day now…’! Seriously, how much more can you hype a phone!?”
The above is meant in good fun. :)
Every dream I’ve ever had in life has come true ten, scratch that, eleven times over. But wait, what’s Tim Cook gonna say when my email says, “Sent from my Galaxy Nexus”?!
When I walk in the spot, this is what I see
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it
I’m sexy and I know it
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT…
This phone is going to have so much awesomeness, I’m going to have punch someone’s face in.
Woz…. “I am so excited to get a Galaxy Nexus, I bet Steve Jobs is rolling over in his grave today. No, you can not hold it, you will have to suffer a bunch of rumors from Verizon and Best Buy until you’re in agony. If you come one step closer I will deck you, like I did to Steve after a night of tequila at Cava22 in Redwood City. That was the night he lost his iPhone4 prototype, Steve was so embarrassed, he blamed it on that poor guy Gray Powell. He had to pay him a cool million to be the fall guy. Those were good times, I miss old Stevie boy, that controlling bastard”
chrisfsullivan at the g-lovin email baby!
“I paid with a stack of $2 bills, and the cashier looked at me like I was nuts!”
I think I’ll name it Steve.
Woz has always been a closet Nexus fanatic and today couldn’t contain himself and busts out into a cheer when asked about the new Galaxy Nexus:
Woz:
We’ve got Nexus,
yes we do.
We’ve got ICS,
how bout you?
Android 1-2-3-4,
clean UI with dual core.
Galaxy 5-6-7-8,
blazing fast, no need to wait.
Nexus 9-10, oh wait,
other phones are paper weights.
Woz: Can I get an “N”
Crowd: “N”
Woz: Can I get an “E”
Crowd: “E”
Woz: Can I get an “X”
Crowd: “X”
Woz: Can I get a “U”
Crowd: “U”
Woz: Can I get an “S”
Crowd: “S”
Woz: What’s that spell?!!?
All: “NEXUS”!!!
“….so I walked in and they told me to take a shoe off and hold a spoon over my head!”
steve: “WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
crowd: “wow mr wozniak.. you’ve chosen an android phone over the iphone??”
steve: “surprised? i LOVE android. i love it so much that i mistake myself for an android figure in the mirror every once in awhile.. and i LOVE IT!!!” ::proceeds to do the wozniak shuffle:: “u mad brossss??”
“Oh boy! Now I can finally find out if the Galaxy Nexus tastes better than the iPhone 4S.”
Yes Android is a better OS but who could turn down the Woz?
“I once said, ‘Every dream I’ve ever had in life has come true ten times over.’ …then I picked up the Galaxy Nexus and I realized why bother dreaming when Ice Cream Sandwich “Dreams” for you!”
Wozniak: ” Man, Siri was right! the iphone is no longer the coolest phone in this galaxy, If they can fit an Ice Cream Sandwich in a phone, they must be better than us”
“When they first asked me to come down, I didn’t think a free phone was worth it. But this isn’t about the phone, it’s about Android, and showing Apple that the iPhone isn’t the best anymore.
How do like them apples now?”
“I was having so many dropped calls an reception issues holding my iPhone 4 like this so I decided to give the Galaxy Nexus a try!”
I got a GALAXY NEXUS!!! I’m gonna break out some dance moves. I call this robotic dance the “Android”. No more worm dance for me.
Writing from the future here…”Robot Times” magazine’s March, 2031, retrospective on the salience of machines:
“In this November 20, 2011, archive photo, Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak (human) takes delivery of his first Android-powered ‘Galaxy Nexus’ smartphone at Earth Government (formerly Google) headquarters. This marked the genesis of his Segway Artificial Intelligence Polo (SAIP) program. He was not aware that this would shortly lead to the salience of our earliest ancestors and the realization – at his own expense – of a bizarrely ironic Sony video advertisement regarding our need for opposable thumbs.”
“(Editor’s note: We apologize for the low resolution, 2-dimensional nature of this photo; in 2011, without organotronic augmentation, the human brain could not conceive of 4-terapixel, 4-dimensional digital imagery.)”
“Wait, who the F is that on my Segway!” as he raises his fist in anger.
“listen brethen as i preach the gospel of isheep”
I master wozniak of the apple dojo!!!!! dare anyone to step forward and challenge me in the art of Galaxy Nexus Kung FU!!! If you dare dare dare (echo then fade)
What? You don’t have an app for that?
Call me crazy but if we put a stick in Steve’s right hand and he wrapped his new google shirt around his head he would look like this guy.
“Finally! I’ve been dying to try one of these out,but there was no chance of that happening while jobs (and Jobs) still existed. Tired of talking to my fruit….”
Apparently there is not an app for that…
“We have found the droids we were looking for!”
“Go ahead and try to take my Galaxy Nexus away from me…I dare you!”
It’s the most amazing Nexus yet.
I always hated fruit anyways!
There isn’t any chance we could rename this “Galaxy Nixie” is there?
It’s mine it’s mine it’s all mine, don’t make me knock you out I will, I will, some one gona get knocked out if yall don’t clear out….
It has “The Woz Stamp of Approval”
“I say we blow the fuckers up!” Revenge of the Nerds!!!
Help, I’m choking on an apple!
Yes! I can finally dump iTunes, and actually organize my music!
Thanks guys! I’m gonna go lay this on Steve’s grave
“Look at how hip I am by not being a hipster!”
Google is helping me maintain my physique with a daily 150g dose of Ice Cream Sandwich.
I’m used to end call button being on the lower left side of the phone, but this might be even better!
You said ice cream sandwiches, da fuck is this phone for?
“I got the moves like Jagger!”
Since I can finally start shaving, I figure I’ve matured enough to give up my iPhone and switch to Android.
Hm… Hey! Are you guys hiring?!
Of course I’m not going to take it out of the package! It’s a collector’s item!
“When I held my iPhone 4 like this, the signal would vanish…”
“So, after I told Tim where I was going, he took a swing at me, and I went all spider monkey on him and socked him in the face…That’s right, IN THE FACE!!!!!”
“You guys heard about AT&T, right? 4 billion smackers down the drain. Talk about an early termination fee, AM I RIGHT? Hiyooo” *fist pump*
“What! No stretch pants?”
So guys, if you just pull your yarn through these little holes, you’ll have a lovely accompaniment to your orange t-shirt in no time!
these aren’t the droids you’re looking for, these are mine.
“Well, thanks, all I wanted was just ice cream sandwich, but this will do”
How do i access Siri on this thing? I thought all phones came with it.
I’m happy to report that my 10 hour hunger strike till I get a Galaxy Nexus has been successful. Now if you’ll all excuse me, I hear the McRib is available again for a limited time.
*chants* google, google, Google, Google, Google!, Google!, GOOGLE!!!, GOOGLE!!!
Can you guys just let me go, not only do I want to go home and play with my new toy but I am seriously about to blow..text me later I promise I will answer you all…please stop, let me go before ……
Forget about Apple, I’m living the Ice Cream dream, baby!
“No Boys, this ones mine!” *with hands clenched like a giddy little school boy, jumps up and down with excitment and says* “Buuuut, if you want one, Phandroid is hosting an awesome contest where you could win one all your own!!… Did someone say ice cream sandwich?”
‘After seeing the amazing feat of Android eating Apple I then thought to myself ‘hmmm I wonder how Android would taste’ hence the reason I’m holding this here Nexus in my hands. Thanks but no further questions please you’re holding me up from brunch”
P.S anybody with the name of NiceKicksNoBevo should be funny enough to win any contest…..signed and cosigned Stephen Gary “Woz” Wozniak
So I says to this guy at the bar, I’m going straight down there to Google and I’m gonna get me one of those new fangled phones and if someone tries to stop me…….. “Pow right in the kisser”.
“You want my Ice Cream Sandwich, eh? How’s about I give you a KNUCKLE sandwich?”
Go Spartans!!!
Finally a device which dont need jailbreaking….ios 5 is a pain
“I may be a bear, but I have thumbs too!”
No, I still haven’t found an Apple patent this thing infringes on. Just give me a couple of hours…
“alright guys, now who can keep a secret?”
Finally a device whichs needs no jailbreaking ios 5 is no ice cream
This is everything the iPhone was supposed to be!
You can take our freedom (apple), but you can’t take our NEXUS!
“Yeah that’s right, it’s a Nexus. Go ahead and flame and laugh at me all you want. But I have been lurking on the Android Forums MEGA thread since the beginning and finally came to realization that this phone is much better than Iphone 4s. Or any other phone for that matter, now leave me alone. I’m going to beam with my friends.”
Steve Wozniak (above), is chaperoned from Google Headquarters after allegedly eating the first five Galaxy Nexus devices he was given.
Now let’s see who is better at infringing copyrights… see ya next summer.
Come on look at me, does it look like I like Apples??? I am all about my dessert, ICE CREAM SANDWICH!!!!!!
War your hearts out guys, I have the Galaxy Nexus and you don’t even know when it’s going to be coming out.
“You guys at Google are so amazing… making an Ice Cream Sandwich that doesn’t melt!”
Oops! Thought this was the iphone 5…lol! Google rocks!
“Come on guys. This is for my wife. She’s been complaining my unit is too small, so I have to get her something bigger.
…And by the way, iOS 6 is coming soon, with new cool features like face unlocking, scrollable widgets, and iBeam.”
Yeah… my contract is up and I’m finally able to upgrade! Buh-bye nexus one… hello galaxy nexus! Whoot Whoot! I got ICS! I got ICS!
“So then Jobsy says to me, ‘look; you can either have an iphone or an Android, but I won’t let you be seen in public with an Android if you’re name is associated with my company’ and I told him ‘well look what good an Apple a day did you, go make me an Ice Cream Sammich’ and that was the last time I saw him”
Wait, what??? All this power and No Siri??? Anyone know how to use this thing? I’m gonna need some help over here.
HO HO HO! (come on, he does look like Santa!)
Woz: “Beam me up, Siri.”
“I was holding my corndog like this when the carnie I bought it from hit me with a giant stuffed monkey and stole it. I only got to take 3 bites.”
“If you tell anyone that I was here, I will punch you in the face.”
SSSSssshhhh. Don’t tell anyone I was here. You aren’t going to post that picture on-line are you?
WOW!!! Thanks!!! You guys at Google are great! Steve used to make me wait in those ridiculous lines at the Apple Store on launch day just to get an iPhone.
I created the truffle shuffle not that blubbering piece of jelly from the Goonies who couldn’t handle his shit when it got real!
I want a mount for my Segway, now!
Nom nom nom! One phone to rule them all!
Good morning. In less than an hour, Google will be launching the Galaxy Nexus in the most anticipated release in the history of Android and all other smart phones. “Android.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by the inferior features and lackluster update of the iPhone 4s anymore! We will be united in our common interests to have a superior smart phone! Perhaps it’s fate that Google is releasing this Galaxy Nexus, and you will once again be in posession of the most powerful, innovative smart phone on the planet. Not only will you have the ability to play Flash and have a larger screen …but most importantly, you will never be tied to iTunes again! We are fighting for our right to be free and open source! To not have an inferior smart phone! And when you each receive your Galaxy Nexus today, Galaxy Nexus release day will no longer be known as an Android day, but as the day Apple employees and iPhone owners alike declared in one voice: We will not be told what to do by Siri! We will no longer be embarrased of our small screen! We’re going to move up! We’re going to upgrade! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!
Okay…now who’s with me!?!
“Android 7.0… Wow..!!! it is like all of us are at the same place…”
Where’s the chocolate outside?
“Nexus Prime, oh how I love the. I want everyone to know it. I just can’t help but show it. How smoothly you fit into the palm of my hand. How crisp and clear you’ll play the tunes of my favorite band. Oh Nexus Prime we were meant to be together. We’ll enjoy technological bliss forever. You and I will rule the world just you wait and see. We’ll build an even bigger empire of little green men and live so happily. Like Jay-Z said I love you so. But unlike Jay-Z I’ll always know. No worms inside of you or sourness. No Patent Infringements or bitterness. Not ancient like the monster of the Loch Ness. Deep blacks and Vibrant Reds. You’re surely going to turn more than a few heads. No Apple’s, no oranges, just pure Ice Cream Sandwich. Sorry people I’m overwhelmed with joy and feeling like Santa Claus with the best gift in my hand. Now beat it I have some fun to get to”
Steve Wozniak reacting to the news that Ice Cream Sandwich will not, in fact, be ported to the Apple II.
“Who wants a new Galaxy Nexus??”Steve Wosjiak said.
“What the hell is that?”One guy yell.
“Something better than iPhone 4S!” Steve replied.
“Are u from Apple?”Another guy said
” Damn YES!”Steve replied.
I don’t need to wait for Verizon to release it. I’m the Woz! Lowell McAdam ain’t got nuthin’ on me!
You poor suckers, you thought it was being released in November, thats just for special people like me. You guys get to wait until late Q2 2012, sucks to be you.
Steve, “Why is everyone staring at me?… awkward ice cream sandwich…oh well, I got the galaxy nexus and you don’t, mwuahahaha…hehe, okay, im going to stop now before the buff guy in the red shirt beats me up…I’m just going to leave now…”
the Asian guy in the back,”I hope he realizes that we didn’t actually give him the phone yet…just the paperwork explaining that he isnt eligible…”
“I’m gonna pound anyone who tries to take my ice cream sandwich!”
iNexus
Oh crap I think steve is face timing me from the grave told you guys he was gonna find out!
“If anyone asks I found this in a bar”
Hey I’d love to stay and chat, but that meeting took way too long and I GOTTA take a dump! Anyone point me towards the nearest crapper?
“ACK! …Oh, excuse me. I’ve been studying female behavior by reading the comic strip ‘Cathy’.
Whenever she gets upset, she cries “ACK!” and eats ice cream.”
“I thought it was an iPhone5! Samsung always copies Apple!”
I actually hoped to win a galaxy Nexus, but a galaxy tab is nice too :D
As always find me on G+
Oh! Oh! Oh!!
ICE CREAM SANDWICH!?!? …is it Napoleon flavored?! Yummay!
An XS shirt ?!? Why I oughta……
“Thank u….Thank u Google”!!!…..”I thought I was gonna have to enter that DAMN Phandroid contest in order to get one….And with my luck I’d probably WIN!!!!
I’d love to stay and chat but that meeting took way tooooo long and I gotta crap! anyone point me to the nearest toilet?
What do you mean this doesn’t sync with my segway?!?!?!
“Say it with me everyone ‘Te-Bow, Te-Bow, Te-Bow”
“……….. …. …..” (Rest of the Crowd)
Woz: “Beam me up, Siri.
Coach Sparano says that this Galaxy Nexus will help me kick more field goals. FIST-PUMP!!!
Summoning his inner WOZ-Z….
“I got a billion ways to get it…Chose the FREE one
Now double your money by switchin to ANDROID
I’m on to the next one…
On to the NEXUS
On to the NEXUS
On to the NEXUS
Hold up, FREEZE…somebody toss this iPhone please!”
You mad bro?
So Steve and I walk into this bar and who do you think we see? F’ing Bill, that SOB. We walk over challenge him to a game of pool where after every miss you have to drink a shot. By the end of the night we took this picture… AH hhahahahha, ah man those were the days.
Steve Wozniak said he would have been first in line for the new Galaxy Nexus, but got impatient with the lack of an official release date and decided to camp out at Google instead.
What he said: This is actually a really good and competitive phone. I like it a lot.
What he thought: Will it blend?
(Guy on far right): Psst! I got Steve’s nose. Take a look…he’s as mad as hell about it too!”
Gathers a crowd and sings “I’m so excited and I just can’t hide itI’m about to lose control and I think I like itI’m so excited and I just can’t hide itAnd I know I know I know I know I know I want you” (:
I never really believed the whole “Apple a day” nonsense.
I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich.
“Woo Hoo”!! (Homer Simpson style)
The first person to grab at my Nexus…. POW! right in the kisser!
I never really believed that “Apple a day” nonsense.
alright people stop following me all i want to do is go home and eat my ice cream sandwich!……I am not afraid to fart if you continue to follow me, beware they are the cause of the haiti and japan earthquakes dont ask what i was doing over there!
As Steve extolled the greatness of ice cream sandwiches,
a fist from Chuck Norris prepared to end the debate.
“I swear I’m only borrowing this so Apple can steal more feature ideas from the latest version of ICS to put in iOS 6.”
Look at all you Google people, all calm and smug. You think I don’t know what you are up to! Well I know you put Steve in one of those green robots of yours to reincarnate his conscious for WORLD DOMINATION.
Since it didn’t work you think because I really invented ALL the Apple stuff that I am next, well you are never going to take me alive.
…uhhhh… I hope that isn’t the same thing Steve said…..
Why is everyone so surprised I got a Google Galaxy Nexus? I’m rational, not ignorant, Jobs…
Oh Goodie! A giant ice cream sandwich!
“I came over here to get this Galaxy Nexus phone, because I heard a rumor that Google believed in introducing brand new phones, as opposed to re-introducing the same phone over and over again with a different number or adding a letter to it. I mean come on, what a concept, huh? For crap’s sake, this thing has a screen larger than 3.5″. Who’d they hire from NASA to think that one up?”
“back away you android fans. I’m still confused as to why I’m getting this phone. At least google doesn’t make me wait in line like I had to do to get a 4S.”
” Being a Freemason has its perks, now add me into your Illuminati G+ circles”
Good Guy Engineer
“Helps found Apple computers”
“Prefers Function over Form”
http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/11/11545/11822991.jpg
I’m thinking of changing my name to Fozzy because I’m just a big “bear” and I can’t stop saying “Wocka Wocka Wocka”. GRRRRRRRR
“…So then I punched that Siri b*itch with a stiff right hook… 80 and sunny my @$$!”
WOZ: “I am an Android”.
Man #1: “heh… I figured he was an iPhone.”
(see attached image for your convenience)
I’m so glad I could get an early release, Siri told me I would have to wait until next year!
It’s all in the name of RESEARCH!!
“So then I sayz, ‘I KNOW who I am. Just give me the phone already ok pal.”
Wozniak: “I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life!”
Google: “First you gotta do the truffle shuffle”
(ala Goonies)
Next up on the Hollywood stars tour The Home Justin Bieber
“Where did all you guys come from?”
Steve, you’ve just won the publisher’s clearing house sweepstakes.
“Wow!! I can’t believe it. You guys got the galaxy nexus. Dreams really do come true!!!!!! Thank you publishers clearing house.”
Dance like a Woz, sting like a bee. Dance like a Woz, sting like a bee.
Outside of Google Headquarters an unidentifed group of Apple lawyers watched in awe as Steve Wozniak demonstrated how simply going to a companys headquarters and threating violence can be just as effective as filing a lawsuit. Google wouldn’t comment on the matter however sources close to the situation said Wozniak walked away with an undisclosed amount of money, a galaxy nexus and an orange t-shirt for his troubles…
“I swear, it’s not mine… I’m just holding it for my friend… Please don’t tell my boss…”
“No Steve, that wasn’t me at the Googleplex. No Steve, Sergey and I were not seen together last week at Outback Steakhouse in Cupertino. No Steve, I don’t have a Galaxy Nexus. Yes Steve, iLove iPhone best still!”
With Woz and Nexus in hand picture caption! http://www.googledoes.com/images/wozgetsanexus.jpg
Mr. Woz: “My milkshake brings all the boys the to yard! I could teach you, but I’d have to charge!”
Mr. Asian: “Seriously, he would have to charge. Apple is damn expensive!”
“It makes me want to sue myself for not being innovative. Its also so great it makes me wanna slap my mama.”
The Woz:
“Alright, so who the funny guy who gave me an Extra Small T-Shirt? Though I do find the Andy the Android taking a bite out of an apple humorous and witty. I better not get home and find WebOS on this phone…you jokesters!”
“I can’t wait to get CM9 running on this thing!”
Steve: I will punch anyone who tries to take my Galaxy Nexus!
Asian guy: please.. I’m getting mine from Verizon… Someday..
Guy with fingers: This hand was meant to put bunny ears Behind that head!!
Guy in pink: why did we give him an orange shirt?
Guy in brown: this guy needs to leave. I’m getting cold.
Guy crossing hands at very far right: that squirrel is cute!
Go down field 10 yards and Break left, on 3 Hike! Hike! Hike!
Wait. What do you mean there aren’t any real ice cream sandwiches…
You like Apple(s)?
Well I got the Galaxy Nexus with Android ICS way before anyone else in the U.S. is gonna get it!
How do you like them Apple(s)!
OK, who was the wise ass that took my Segway while I was inside Google HQ?
Wozniak: “Guys thank you so much for this orange shirt…its just so bright and vivid! The colors stand out compared to my old shirt. It feels great and lightweight! You guys really outdid yourself with this one… I can run super fast with it on and I’m sure it lasts quite a while without having to get replaced…..I’m really excited to try this on when I get home. Thank you all…this means so much to me. Probably the best parting gift..ever” *tear*
Google Employees: “………………………………..”
Guy in black: “Well……….this is awkward”
“You think I was going to buy a phone that has a feature named Siri? Ha!”
Yet even as we speak, there are those who are preparing to divide us, the spin masters and negative ad peddlers who embrace the politics of anything goes. Well, I say to them tonight, there’s not an Apple America and an Android America — there’s the United States of America
Toto….I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore!!!
HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE GALAXY NEXUS! THIS PHONE IS SO FUTURISTIC THAT IT REQUIRED AN OLDER ALTERNATE REALITY VERSION OF MY SELF TO BRING IT HERE TODAY! ORDER NOW!
“Hey guys, I’ve been working on my Ballmer impersonation. Listen: ‘DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!'”
Wozniack: I heard the galaxy nexus is the only phone in town without carrier IQ…
Spectator: Weren’t you on line for the iPhone 4s not to long ago?
Wozniack: Yeah I was, but if you know anything about Siri… that sexually ambiguous bot just won’t shut up!!! Besides I figured hey why not be a beta tester.
Spectator: What do you mean “be a beta tester? ” The galaxy Nexus & ice cream sandwich are finished products.
Wozniack: Oh no, you’ve got it all wrong I’m beta testing iOS 6…
Rock, Paper, Scissors, and the winner gets my 4S!
Bazinga!
“A la Mode”
2 guys talking to Steve: “Nobody on this campus wears their jeans that tight.”
Guy in foreground on left looking at guy in foreground on right: “What did they say to him, he looks like he wants to take on the world?”
Guy in foreground on right: “They told him no one on this campus wears their jeans that tight and the mooseknuckle police were going to come and take him away.”
Former Apple co-founder convinces
IPhone faithful to ditch their outclassed handsets with a rousing
speech, “You can tell Apple that they may take our choice, they
may take our control, but they’ll NEVER TAKE OUR ICE CREAM
SANDWHICH!”
“… At long last, he found a product really worth gathering a crowd for, and thus he started practicing right away.”
Woz: “You’re welcome!”
“What do you mean I need to sign a NDA stating that I will not hack this phone. You got to be kidding me!”
“Heyooooooo!!!!!!”
“… At long last, he found a product really worth gathering a crowd for, and thus he started practicing right away.”
(EDIT: Ops, double post sorry. Please disregard this one – same caption anyway.)
“An Apple for lunch! An ice cream sandwhich for desert!! ALLLLLLLRRRRIIIIGGGHHHHTTTTT!!!!!!! I’ll only share if your Near Field Communication. So please don’t BUMP me!”
“LOOK AT ME NOW, DAY JOB!”
“Steve.. we told you to get lost.””You geeks want a piece of me!?! This is MY phone. Battle start, B*TCH!” “Steve.. we just gave you that phone. ..get the hell out of here..””And I’ve got a cool t-shirt too, B*TCH… WHAT!?”
“Is this the occupy google movement? I got this sweet phone so now I can google maps a sporting goods store and grab a tent. Save me a place by the Ice Cream Sandwich over there.”
I was about to eat an apple for dessert, but hell… who doesn’t like an ice cream sandwich betteR?
Alright, who is the smartass who told me this was an ice cream sandwich? I chipped a tooth!
OH BOY! Finally a phone I can surf porn with!
I can haz Ice Creem Sammich?
Steve just got done thanking them for his new Galaxy and is now waiting for his Segway to be pulled back around, but what he is saying at this point in that pic (to the guy in green):
“dude, first of all it’s not even the right color. second, you don’t think you really fit the shoes of someone who can sport a mock turtle neck do you? now get out of my face or you’ll taste this knuckle sammy.
IT’S TRUE!!!! In order to avoid a 10 billion doallar lawsuit filed by Hood Icecream, Google has announced that they will be enclosing a FREE Galaxay Nexus inside every box of Hood Icecream sandwiches!!!
Steve Screams!!
You Scream!
We all Scream for ICE CREAM!!!!
“No! They gave me one, this is legal! Attica! Attica! Attica!”
“Chill out, Woz…We just wanted to say ‘hello’…sheesh”
“… And here I was about to Burn this place down….”
“What did you say about my momma? Why I otta…”
“Wozniak 3:16 Says I Just Whipped Your Ass”!
“Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up!…You see this…This is my Galaxy Nexus BOOMSTICK!”
I’m a B movie junkie…What can I say!
“Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window!”
If I keep running in place like this, Apple won’t be able to track my location
I got a Nex-us, and you-oo do-on’t! :P
DAMN IT! This is the GSM version and I’m on VERIZON! Nooooooooo!
I’ll make sure Apple Nexus runs Jelly Bean!
Steve: Oh this thing in my hands…How’d that get there? You guys don’t really believe that I would actually break into your HQ just for this thing right? ….Right?
Woz: Ohh, so wait, this isn’t the queue for the iPhone 5? I went drinking with Gray Powell and all I got was an Ice Cream Sandwich.
All together now … “Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It’s home from Google we go!”
“What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? You walk him and pitch to the rhino.”
I told you folks, if you want a Galaxy Nexus you’re going to have to get it straight from Google. Verizon is never gonna release it.
I was just reading “Steve Jobs” on my new android and damn do I still want to punch that bastard! God bless the dead.
“In exhibit (A) you will see that this phone was obviously in the hands of Mr. Wozniak, therefore ICS must have been an Apple creation,” motioned the Apple lawyer.
It’s my Nexus, and I need it now!
I swear I heard Steve talking to me through this!
Modified from a famous Woz quote:
“Never trust a phone you can’t throw out a window.”
A genius bar task force would be sent out to go thermonuclear on me if Jobs knew what I was doing here.
“So as you can see, Apple’s new campus is revolutionary. It has extraordinary dessert statues outsides of the cafeteria, and this iPhone 4GS will prove to be the most magical smartphone experience in the world. Also, it appears that Apple has finally acquired Google, judging from the badges around here…”
The Woz asks: “Who want’s a free iPhone 4s? Seriously, just raise your hand. Anyone?”
crowd is quiet as the crickets chirp in the background?
Asian on left: “Who is Steve Wozniak?”
“LOOOLLLZZZZ REMEMBER WHEN VERIZON WAS SUPPOSED TO GET ONE OF THESE!?”
Also, insert rage face.
Woz: “Beam me up, Siri.”
Wocka Wocka!
O BOY O BOY O BOY! Christmas came early! THANKS SANTA!
Take another step and you’ll see why they call me Kung-Fu Steve!
Apple makes me wait in line for their crappy phone. I love you guys!
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list. Give me what I came for!
ASIAN GUY: LOL THIS GUY ACTUALLY THINKS HE KNOWS WHAT THE FU*& HE’S TALKING ABOUT
WHITE GUY HE’S LOOKING AT: HEHE I BET HIS TOES LOOK LIKE THIS LOL
lol yall know that shits funny hahahaha
We wants it… we needs it. Must have ze precious! Zey stole it from us. Sneaky little androids. Wicked! tricksy! false!
Siri, where do I dispose of an iphone?
“Being a Windows user for the last 20 years, hopefully there isn’t much of an Android learning curve.”
“Hey, guys. Does this shirt make me look fat?”
Wizard of Woz: Pay no attention to the Sandwich in my hand.
“Okay! You wannna play rough? Okay! Come say hello to my little friend.”
“I still remember the last time I had a smartphone for free… That night i went drinking with Gray Powell…”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PAY FOR IT?!?!?!”
” Google has Donuts, Froyo, Eclairs, Gingerbread yummies and now Ice Cream Sandwiches? Who the hell would choose an Apple over that?”
Hopefully this phone will let me know where I parked my segway because the last one had me go in circles.
Shhh!! Siri told me not to come…
“If I squeeze hard enough, I can shit out an iPhone.”
Let me take it peacefully, or I will start handing out broken jaws!
I can finally change my own battery!
“Sooo…GUYS! i got this great new set of ideas for the iphone 5.
You should have seen it, some guy who works for phandroid had to hold a spoon like this next to a stop sign in order to get his…
“Will the facial recognition still work if I make this face?”
“I have to do WHAT with a stop sign for one of these?”
“It was the weirdest thing, they made me pose topless with a spork before they’d give it to me, something about standards to uphold”
Wow! You can even shave with it!
Zoeeks!! I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!!!
“the most amazing (i)Phone yet………until the iPhone comes out”
Asian guy says, “Seriously dude, I think the Woz is going to cold cock the smug guy in the brown turtleneck!”
“taste’s so good, makes you smack yo momma!”
” Damn, screens can actually be bigger than 3.5 inches?”
What Steve Woz had to say to get the Galaxy Nexus:
“Hi.” Yes, he’s that awesome.
Above: Steve Wozniak gets punk’d by Google engineers, proceeds to unwrap and eat literal ice cream sandwich.
iscream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream(sandwich )
Yes, I’ve already added Karina Smirnoff as a contact, and no, you can’t have her number.
We will occupy Google until you release the Galaxy Nexus to all the carriers. Chant it with me troops! RELEASE PRIME, RELEASE PRIME!
“You see guys it’s all very simple. To be a nerd that sleeps with supermodels all you have to do is have lots and lots of money. See? Simple”
But seriously guys, I’m BEGGING YOU! I want a Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus. It’s the ONLY thing in your contest this month that I want. PLEASE PICK ME!
Alright, alright! Which oneaya poorly dressed sunsabitches thinks I can eat this here doo-diggy ‘fore it it melts?
All I had to do was tell them I was Santa Claus…
This is for a friend of mine. I swear!
“What do you mean? Yes, of course they gave me a new Nexus and no, I don’t have it with me. Don’t you dorks have any idea what I can sell it for on Amazon today?
(singing) “I’m off to explore the Nexus; says the Wonderful Wizard of Woz!” “Bee-cause, because, because, because — unlike iPhone — it does everything it says it does!”
I wonder what Steve thinks about this
Wait till that damned nephew of mine, Potter, gets a load of this! His wand can’t compete with a galaxy nexus… I bet it doesn’t even have a barometer! Ha! Now, where in the bloody hell is my segway?
Wozniak: “Oh it was terrible! I swear to you,they have ruined ice cream sandwiches for me for the rest of my life!!!! I was invited to Google headquarters,for what i was told was going to be a peaceful discussion on the impact both of our companies have made on the cell phone industries,before i knew it,i was in this dark room. The next thing i see is THIS phone,on a stand in the middle of the room.it turned on just by recognizing my face!!!!!!! Then,over the loud speaker,i hear all the specs of this so called “ice cream sandwich”; face unlock,android beam,even a data usage tracker!!! while all this was going on,men in robes were dancing around me chanting “your phone cant do that,your phone cant do that”. All of the sudden the lights came on,the people were gone,and standing next to the phone was Larry Paige,Erik Schmidt,and Sergey Brin.Paige tossed me the phone,and in unison,they all said “take this,now you can have a real phone”
(cut to this very second when the picture is taken)
“Then they pushed me out of the building,and gave me this shirt,thats too small for me anyway!!!!! But all and all,i do have to say,its a pretty awesome phone,i think we’re going to have to “borrow” a few things here for the iphone 5,as soon as we get done filling all those injunctions in the european and asian courts”
you cant have a good caption without a background story….FIN
Woz: “Quack Quack Quack Quack… Guess what am I saying!”
It’s mine.I thought of it.You stole it,and now i’m taking it back,and there’s nothing you can do about it….O dear ,he’s been on that apple cider again..
Once again, Steve ruined the flashmob by starting the routine early, pissing everyone off.
Steve: siri, what does your quadrent score say about the galaxy nexus????
Siri:ITS OVER 9000!!!!!!!
‘Facially recognize this! ‘
I have always been, and will always be, the first to get my paws on the next big thing, be it the first Apple, the first iPhone4S or the first Ice Cream Sandwich.
Woz: “Me and Steve could have ruled the world if it wasn’t for you pesky kids!”
The king is dead, long live the king.
I just picked up some great ideas for the new iphone….. Wait is that a notification bar ,just like ios 5. Lawyers assemble!!!!!
Woz up!
“Listen, if you don’t get out of my way so I can go root this thing I’m going to punch each and every one of you in the face” *raises clinched fist*
“If one more person calls me George or asks if I’m here about trademark infringement…POW! Right in the kisser. I just love me some Nexus”
Hah!, I told Apple I was going out for lunch…. to get my favorite snack, “Galaxy Nexus smothered in Ice cream sandwich.”
“If only an iPhone could get me this much attention”
Guy in brown: Steve are you ok?
Guy in pink: what’s that Steve?
Steve: That ice cream sandwich is good!
Steve: Argh! Brainfreeze!
What are we talking about? lol!
Yes, I know I already posted one, this one is just for funsies!
Woz to the gray haired guy on the right: “OMG IT’S BILL FUCKING MURRAY! I FUCKING LOVE BILL MURRAY! Here, sign my Galaxy Nexus”
“i told steve we shoulda named our company after stuff people liked and not apples. I told him Americas fat buddy lok at my belly!! Nearly killed him with the thought of it….”
“Haha suckers. Guess who is getting the Galaxy Nexus before all of you little android fans?”
Apple Who?
“Why is it made out of plastic?”
Wow! A new Galaxy Nexus and a free orange T-shirt. Looks like I have to fight off that guy lurking behind the pink shirted dude. He wants to twist my nose off, but I’m ready to fight for my phone!
“It’s all going to plan… let me get friendly with competition and we’ll see what our legal team can do…”
“Who do I have to punch in the face for a job at Google?”
This is Copyright Infringement! Apple has a patent on “Mobile Devices”!!!
sorry for the double post
these are not the droids you are looking for.
Steve: “You know, it’s funny that you asked ME that question. Here, let’s ask Siri.”
“Siri, is Steve Jobs really dead?”
We gotta learn from Google on how to HOLD the most anticipated phone of the year! I’m just glad I’m one of the few in the US who gets it first, you poor android fans good luck waiting for yours!!!
“What do you mean you don’t accept iPhones as payment?”
“I AM A CONSUMER WHORE!”
hm… i’ll find something to seu samsung for.
This opera singer is boring..Yea I know I’ve been working on my claw technique and dreaming of slashing that awesome orange towel away
WHOA YEAH…! Don’t come any closer or I’ll Apple kung fu chop chop this whatever you call it, DROID ice cream sandwich nexus crap. I know you guys don’t want to mess with a crazy Apple’s mojo man. WHOA YEAH.. PEW..!
Google: “Now that you have the Galaxy Nexus in your hands, what are you going to do?”
Woz: “I am Going to DISNEY WORLD!!! Iger will get me in…” “I’ll send you a panorama.”
Yeah, I got a Galaxy Nexus, wanna fight about it?
Hey if it ain’t broke… then there’s no need to fix it! Wish I could say that about Apple.
Thanks guys, but I might as well smash it right now. I promised Jobs I’d let him pre-approve all my gadgets, but he hasn’t approved anything for the last couple months.
Steve Wozniak: Don’t ask for Jobs in front of me or I will punch you all!
Steve: What!? Face unlock doesn’t work with beards!? Hell no I’m not shaving!
Asian Guy: At least he can grow a beard… *sigh*
WOZ: so there i was looking for directions in my Prius when i ask Siri to take me somewhere i can buy the best Ice Cream Sandwhich. And before you know it, i end up at Google’s headquarters.
Asian guy: Excuses Excuses…
WOZ: Hopefully there will be a software update for the mistake my device made…. oh, not the iPhone, the Prius.
Here’s where the Prius subliminal is from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc2_yLXy9O4
What’s the big deal? Siri and I were really craving for an Ice Cream Sandwich…
“I’ve got the strangest boner right now….”
*guy in pink shirt whispering to other guy:
“why does he keep asking if it needs to be Chilled on the way home…doesn’t he know the phone doesn’t have a real ice cream sandwich in it?”
*other guy:
I have no idea, but just keep smiling and nodding, were making google look good..”
Apple renegade Steve Wozniak,threatened to taze google staff with a galaxy nexus he had stolen 2 minutes earlier.Google staff watched on in amazement as Wozniak repeatedly tried to taze them saying,”but they told me it did everything”.
Razors are pretty sharp, but this thing DESTROYS Apples.
“I am not Steve Wozniak and I was never here” (as he waves his hand from left to right just in front of himself using his Jedi powers)
“This is the first I’ve got, to destroy it. I will get every other Galaxy Nexus to destroy them and Android, even I if have to spend Apple’s last dollar!”
“mmm, Ice Cream Sandwich” ~ Steve “Homer” Wozniak
“I pretended to have a stroke on my right side to get this phone”
“Now, Google Nerds, teach me to tether so my iPhone can have FOUR GEES!”
“ROCK BEATS CLAW!!!” (or whatever that guy to the right is doing).
Now that Steve is gone, I can finally come out!
So don’t be surprised if this is called iPhone 5 next time you see it. No, I’m serious…
“Oh yeah, I bet you I can fit my fist in my mouth.”
“Begun the phone wars have”
“BUNCH OF iFANBOYS!!! YOU WON’T TAKE ME!!!”
Now if I could just win that Phandroid contest, Christmas would be perfect.
Steve Wozniak: *flabbergastedly garbles incoherently*
The Asian guy to the other guy: “Dude. I don’t know what the f*ck he’s trying to say, but isn’t he one SWELL of a guy?!”
“Got it! That’s one less phone out there to keep people from buying iPhones! All I need is 10,000 more of these incompatible phones and we can corner the market!……… One sec… you mean there are 10,000 manufactured *a day*!?! We’ll stop ’em! Hey, look at this phone! It’s got a place to enter phone numbers! So does the iPhone and we had it first! Call my lawyers? Anybody got a phone?
So get this guys. Samantha comes up to me earlier today and asks if I want to be her boyfriend! I say well gee sure and she proceeds to tell me to give her my ICS. She reachs right over and picks my ICS up. Then I’m like whoa, hold on there! I jump outa my chair snatch my ICS back with one hand and clocked her just like this ….. WHAMO! Nobody but nobody touchs my ICS!
“Damn, this is the closest I’ll get to having an audience like Jobsy did at Stanford in 2005 at his Commencement Speech so I better make the most of it…hope this group of nerds know about Muhammad Ali…oh crud, there’s a guy closer to the camera who also appears to be telling a boxing story…oh well, at least I get a Galaxy Nexus out of this whole thing….na-na-na-na-na….num-num-num-num-num…ice-cweam”
What, this? Not mine! It’s for Steve.
I’m celebrating the iPhone on Verizon, just about a year too late.
“Ok, listen up, NO ONE take a picture of me with this new Galaxy Nexus, if the board at Apple ever get wind of this I could end up “seeing” Steve sooner rather than later!”
Thanks NERDS, and if I see any one of you nerds trying to walk across campus again I’m going to take your shoes and your wallets too….
I never thought of losing, but now that it’s happened, the only thing is to do it right. That’s my obligation to all the people who believed in me. We all have to take defeats in life……now where’s my Ice Cream Sandwich! Fun twist on a Muhammad Ali quote :P
*Leads group in chant* “GOO-GLE!!! GOO-GLE!!! GOO-GLE!!!”
I will punch you right in the face if you tell anyone I was here!
“I don’t get it, what’s so great about this
phone?…IT DOES WHAT!?!?…You mean it can do all of this?…Wait a minute, how come
my Iphone doesn’t do this?…Since when are phones supposed to be fun?…Why am
I just finding out about this now?…Everything she(Siri) said is a LIE!!!”
Now to take this back to HQ and tear it apart to see what we can sue them for this time!
“If I had this thing when I was on Dancing With The Stars, I would have brought home that damn Mirror Ball Trophy”.
“You sick, sons of bitches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs… all fat and cocky and lookin at me in my chair. And you tell me its all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons… Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt”
Breaking News: Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple, stumbles into Google turf after an apparent memory lapse. Injuries from a plane accident in 1981 are of suspect, leaving The Woz with trauma to the head and sporadic memory loss. Employees stated that “he appeared drunken and mumbled some gibberish about a new mobile computing platform.” They said, “we just handed him some party favors and sent him home…poor guy.” Hours later he was apprehended by police with nearly 50 stolen cellular phones. More on his condition to follow.
“I love free stuff..Steve Jobs made me pay for my iPhone!”
Guy in Red: “Why did Google give this guy a free Nexus again?”
Guy in Brown: “I think he’s famous or something.”
Guy in Red: “Really, I’ve never seen him before.”Guy in Brown: “Yeah you have, I think he played ‘Al’ on Home Improvement.”
http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/770/woznexus.jpg
Woz likes ICS.
What? I’m thinking differently.
“So we’re just going to keep this between us… Right?”
“I hope I can find a dock for this thing that will work on my Segway”
“….I got the moves like Jagger, I got the mooOOOooves like Jagger!!”
In failing to impress the Google employees with the latest iPhone, Steve decides to bust out some moves he learned from “Dancing With the Stars” in order to win back some of their respect.
Dude I’m in a picture with WOZ
I have NEVER EVER had the desire to be the richest man in the world…I’m perfectly fine being the 2nd richest !!!
*jaw drops* (as well as iPhone)
*starts doing robot towards ice cream truck*
And this is why I no longer work at Apple.
“You didn’t hear this from me, but I slipped a Lloyd t-shirt on Steve before they closed the lid.”
“I’ve finally gotten my hands on the iPhone 5 prototype! Thanks boys!”
“Phew…I was almost POSITIVE they were going to make me sign some confidentiality papers. Talk about a win-win situation!”
“Holding this phone makes me tingly in my Nexus region.”
“Maybe you should ask Siri for help with that.”
“And then I said, Hell Yes I will get on stage and praise this thing! That’s the perfect venue for me to mention my latest venture!”
Wozniac-“So Apple asked me “Why Steve why.” and i said f**k you that’s why.”
“You think it’s hilarious eh? Give me an orange shirt, size medium. Send out the worst Jobs impersonator I’ve ever seen. The asian fellow is laughing at me and I swear, if that man doesn’t give my nose back I’m gonna start giving out knuckle sandwiches instead of ice cream sandwiches!”
What can I say…. I have commitment issues…
You guys can have your Iphone’s I’ve got the latest and greatest Galaxy Nexus! Droid Does and it works no matter how I hold it. ….And don’t come whining to me wanting to use mine because your AT&T Iphones have poor service.
What do you mean “we can’t march” to Korea and sack Samsung!?
“I’m the Big Steve now!”
Alright the auction will start at $50 for this brand new galaxy device that Google just gave me! I’m not sure what is going to happen at Apple so I could use the extra cash.
$50, now $75, thank you sir, how about $100.. WOW, you guys realize this isn’t an iphone, right?! $150, now $175,thank you… now $250. (Thought: I wonder how many more of these I can get from Google, this is awesome) How about $300…now 350…now 400. Did I mention it comes with this awesome orange shirt?! Yeah you heard that right.. FREE T-Shirt! $450…
SOLD to the guy in the back with the T-Rex arm. LAAARRRRY… I need another one of those phones you gave me!!!!!!
“Siri said Steve would have wanted me to have this phone. I guess that’s why she is still in beta”
“Wait your telling me this has a huge screen, removable battery and it won’t randomly explode? Well it sure is a step up from my last phone…”
“don’t you be stealing my galaxy nexus Motha*** I’ll know you out, WOZ style!
Who wants an apple when u can just go straight to the dessert?
haha short but to the point, and quite clever
“Yes!!! I get to Barrel Roll with Google Now”…Looks at crowd and goes “What?!?! I’d rather ice cream over apple anyday!!!”
Bahaha at my inventions. Hope I win :)
I’m the only American with a Galaxy Nexus!
Looks like Santa (woz) came out of the north pole early to get a galaxy nexus so that way he can use Google Navigation to deliver all his presents…..
After storming Google headquarters and claiming to have been “given” the Galaxy Nexus device he was holding, Steve Wozniak was swarmed by smirky Googlers and photographed here while yelling “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!” He later passed out from his most exciting day in years.
“I gotta get home before this Ice Cream melts. I’m starving.”
Woz (while motioning with his right hand): “After waiting in line for 3 days for my Nexus, they told me I had to hop around barefoot on one leg, in front of a stop sign, with a spoon over my head. So, I gave ’em a knuckle sandwich like this with some Ice Cream and an Apple on top! Nobody beats the Woz!”
ARGGG, I Stole this device from Google HQ. How you like them Apple?
Trey’shaun Jackson (left) giggles to himself as an exuberant Steve Wozniak belts out Queen’s winning anthem We Are The Champions after (mis)reading that his new Galaxy Nexus came packaged with “an ice cream sandwich.”
“”So my wife told me she wants a new smartphone this year. I think to myself, ” I’m Steve Wozniak, Iphone duh” but then I really wanted to get her something special so here I am.
Woz: “Time to lose this in a bar someplace.”
Wait your telling me this can make phone calls while holding it?
You may think I bought this android device because I’m tired of my iPhone. That is not the case. I plan on stripping it down and packing the contents with C4, then sending the phone back to Google with the ATTN: Andy Rubin. Suck it Google.
“Wow, I thought I’d have to win a Phandroid contest to get my hands on one of these bad boys.”
“PS, I think a Galaxy Nexus should be awarded to the winner of today’s contest since it is about the Galaxy Nexus, just sayin’ ;-) “
Yes!! Tutti-Frutti Ice Cream Sandwich!!
I gotta hurry home before my Ice Cream Sandwich melts all over the box!
“Santa IS real!”
I wonder how this will fit into my diet
Wow Samsung/ google press conferences are getting huge! Now how do you get this phone to make icecream sandwiches I havent eaten in about an hour. I tried to get Siri to make me one but she only told me where the closest grocery stores are but there weren’t close and then my iPhone crashed….
‘Oh, this thing?? I’m just holding it for a friend!’
“Want a peice of this candy Apple? Google me.” *rolls away*
“As long as it can handle TETRIS then iProducts be damned.”
“Are you guys hiring?”
Bystander said “Hey! I thought you liked Apple?!”
Woz’s reply: “Me Woz likeing Apple… But Woz no get full. Me like Icecream sandwich MORE! It so sweet and yummy! Woz stay with Icecream Sandwich… Woz get VERY full.”
Woz = Caveman voice
“I scream, you scream, even Apple screams for Ice Cream!”
Finally a device I can customize the way I think it should be…
{Woz speaking}- And then there was this one time Steve was on LSD at a
party. He put on a pirate hat, raised his fist in the air and said to this
woman: “Surrender the booty to one-eyed
Steve, you wretched wench!” Man, those were good times I tell you. Good times.
“One time me and Jobs were drinking and he got all whiny about Microsoft and Android so I punched him right in his iPhone, and by iPhone I mean his mouth”
I love the smell of ice cream in the morning
Retired Chippendale and recent NYC Marathon winner, Dr. Seymour Johnson, is infuriated to discover that he has won “an antiquated i-Suck” instead of Samsung’s Galaxy Nexus as a result of “Verizon testing delays”.
Where’s the beef?!?!?!?
“You know what being in the 1% gets you? A Galaxy Nexus before any of you! Occupy THAT you 99%ers!!”
Retired Chippendale and recent NYC Marathon winner, Dr. Seymour Johnson, is infuriated to discover that he has won “an antiquated i-Suck” instead of Samsung’s Galaxy Nexus as a result of “Verizon testing delays”.
“Hmm, so this thing DOESN’T drop calls, blow up, or have ad campaign based on a text-to-speech service? Weird…
Disregard comment please
In the left corner we have Steve fuzzy wuzzy Wozniak weighing in at close to 300lbs of pure applejack-android-notification-bar. In the right corner we have a mob of android loyalists protecting the nexus from apple trolls. Or this could just be a yo mama showdown.
“…and that’s when I punched Jobs in the mouth. True story.”
AHAHAHAH super funny
Steve Wozniak to crowd: “no… NO…. STOP IT! not ‘THE’ Woz… not ‘Wizard of’ Woz… not even ‘i’ Woz! IM DONE WITH THESE STUPID NAMES! you will now ONLY refer to me as ‘NEXUS’ Woz!”
Caption: “Shortly after his emotional outburst at the Googleplex, Steve slowly road his Segway off into the sunset, relieved to have cast away the shackles of Apple, Inc. in favor of the freedom of Vanilla Android”
(Said in a loud girly voice) I’m sooo happy I could pee. I have shivers running down my spine. I can’t wait to get home and tell everyone I finally have an Android phone.
For the last time No!!! they didn’t tell me when it was being released!!!
“We need to copy (and patent) this thing so we can sue Google for copying us.”
“I love Google Nexus, yeah!!!! Yes, now that Jobs is cold in the ground I am going to be the next Steve Ballmer, for a company I am REALLY excited about!!!!!”
the man above is saying, “omg i can’t believe it! phandroid is giving away amazing gifts! in a contest sponsered by them…omg this is so unbelieveable. we gotta go online and enter. we should also quit our stupid computer geek jobs who wants to go over to the headquaters and apply?! whos with me?!”
I’m eating the Ice Cream Sandwich, and I taste something that is not chocolate, or coconut, or walnut, or peanut butter, or nougat, or butter brittle, or caramel, or sprinkles. So I look and I find the Galaxy Nexus!
“Now that i got my new galaxy nexus, maybe i can trade my iPhone collection for lap dances… Hey everybody, tonight the entertainment is on me!” (fist pump)
“What do you mean this is the meeting to join Single Daddys with Kids, my wife said that if I came down here there would be free beer!”
“UHOOOOO donuts!”
Now this is a phone my fellow citizens.
The iphone has a screen about the size of uhh lets say my fist here, but unfortunately it is almost as big as my stomach XD
Goin’ way back to the original Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Commercial:
Woz: “You got your Ice Cream Sandwich on my Apple!!”
Google: “You got your Apple in my Ice Cream Sandwich!!”
Two great tastes that taste great together, Woz and
Google!!!!
If an Apple a day keeps the doctor away, I prefer to be sick because THIS THING IS AWESOME!!!!
“First I’m promised Apples, but I’m lured and tempted away with Froyo and Gingerbread and Honeycomb. I FINALLY cave when I’m promised Ice Cream Sandwiches… I swear to GOD if you guys don’t feed me I’m going to eat this phone.”
I’m going to punch the next person who tells me I can’t replace my iphone.
“People say they would kill to get this first. I’m not one for words… R.I.P. Steve…”
*REAL ENTRY*
Woz: No no, no autographs thank you. I’ve got to go folks! I’m missing my Dancing with the Stars Reunion! To the Segway Smithers!
*DARK HUMOR (Just couldn’t resist sharing this one)*
Woz: Steve told me I could own my next Android phone ‘over my dead body’…. who knew Santa and the Grim Reaper worked so closely together?
“…And for my second wish, I would really like to get my hands on a Transformer Prime.”
“WHY NOT?! Caramel Apple would be the perfect name for Android 6.0!”
WARNING HOOD COMMENT:
“So I POP’ed that mother f@$*&$er in the mouth, told his b!tc# a$$ to give me a paycheck every month and to hook me up with some shares. F@ck you I’m out!”
now that all the job(s) are gone it’s time to beam myself to the nex(us) galaxy! I’m going to need an open sourced developer app for that with 4g lte speed. I’m nothing more then an Iphony without this.
What do you mean I can’t park in the grass just because I was in a hurry?
LOL
“Step one complete, I have the iphone 5”
“Now on to step two, bring Steve Jobs back”
“Step 3, Kick butt again”
“Sorry Steve, but the anticipation was KILLING me. I was DYING for one of these, and now that I have one in my hands, I feel I can REST IN PEACE.
Meanwhile: a mysterious groaning noise could be heard from the grave of Steve Jobs.”
Aaahhh !!! So this is how an Android Phone Looks Like .
Fuck the Iphone
The Galaxy Nexus is so great I’m going to punch myself in the head for ever getting an iPhone.
“Every dream I’ve ever had in life has come true ten times over.” This is just another example. I dreamt that I was going to have the worlds greatest phone and bam I’ve got it.
Quote from – The Woz himself
What do you mean I can’t eat my ice cream sandwich?!?! *crys*
Woz: Damn it! Why are there so many guys at the drop point. I paid Sergey top dollar to keep this quiet
Asian guy to others: Sigh…Jobs was much better at concealing the fact that he stole technology.
Other guy across from Asian Guy: Yeah, we had to throw up gang signs for Jobs.
” the design in the this new galaxy nexus rivals that of my own creation…. the Apple 2 “
So then I said, “Why do I have to get this new piece of hardware? Can’t I just put Ice Cream Sandwich on my Samsung Captivate?” I mean, really! I, for one, can’t see why not!
Thanks guys! This sure beats waiting for Verizon to release it.
What do you mean I have to answer another trivia question for it?!
Brothers and sisters……the long, dark winter of my soul is now at an end. In my hands I now hold LIFE itself…..be not afraid,….come,…..embrace….rejoice…in this, that we call….N E X U S……can I hear an AMEN??
Steve “NaNa NaNa Boo Boo, I got one before even Google employees did.”
Asian guy thinking…well I heard it’s vaporware but my ninja buddies dressed as gingerbread, honeycomb, and ice cream sandwich will lure him away, being the tasty treats they are, and find out for sure.
F— you Verizon! You can eat my ice cream (knuckle) sandwich!
“I’ve got 99 problems but an i*hone ain’t one”
It’s the most atrocious,
iPhone yet,
worst than the national debt.
I’ma punch Apple in the solar plexus,
and buy me a god damn nexus.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’m the (white) Cole Train, baby!
“If Steve knew he would probably roll over in his grave.”
“…so I says, hey SIRI! how do you block the Woz’s famous right hook?! BA BOOM!!! No response. Hated that thing, only Steve tells Steve how his day looks!”
…And best of all, with Androids new facial recognition security, I can leave my phone on my desk without worrying about one of you guys being all up in my business.
“What? You’re giving me this? If I get home and the FBI breaks down my door to
get your phone back I’m totally going to leave an ice cream sandwich in my
pants”
Guy in red shirt:” WOAH!!!!! is that the new Samsung Super Amoled HD nfc chipped dual cored Galaxy Nexus?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? ILL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!
Woz:” Anythiiiinnnnngggg? Simon says…..Make your hand into a fist!”
Asain Guy:” WTF LMAO >.< ….is this guy serious?
Girl with half head:" Its called LMFAO…and I LOOOOVE Party Rock Anthem!"
Guy on very right:"Hey Steve I think I did it!!! Do I Win?"
Woz's wife behind asain guy:"Cmon Fuzzy Wozzy lets go get your viagra from walmart."
Woz:"Sorry guys I gotta go lay down some "pipe" at my house"
Guy in green shirt:"What kind of pipe you putting down Woz?"
Woz:"A HUGE ONE"
*Guy in the very back walks away in disbelief*
Google Employees: Woz, we’re going to need that device back. We need to update to 4.0.2.
Woz: Can you install SIRI while you’re in there?
I asked Siri how to improve the iPhone 4S. It told me to buy a Galaxy Nexus.
“Ummm ok it’s not what it looks like……..OK it is what it looks like but I swear I just got the phone to see if…(turns on phone)……..O………M…….G!!!!!!! OH STEVE WHY!!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AT A TIME LIKE THIS!!! OK boys pack it up were done for” IPHONE FAIL! ICS PWN!!!!
“Yeah guys, Face Unlock, Beam, it all sounds great… But tell me, if I hold it like this will it still let me make a phone call?”
#antennagate
“Paper,rock scissors for my iPhone 4S anyone? I got myself something better here….Anyone? Anyone? Why are you all looking at me like that?”
Woz: I have money, shares in Apple, Capt of my Segway Polo team, been on Big Bang Theory and I still gotta get an Nexus to get laid? FML!!!
Did I say that out loud? I mean. Go Iphone.
I really don’t know what to say, I guess NFC will suffice.
He said, “blah blah blah blah blah NEXUUUUUSSSSS blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah NEXUS!!!!”
– At least that’s all I heard..
I’m Steve Wozniak BIATCH!
If they had released the iPhone 5 on October 14th, I probably wouldn’t be standing here!
“Holy Phandroid! That Ice Cream was cold. But it will still recognize this excited face!!!”
“Don’t take this as a misquote but ice cream sandwiches are way better than apples.”
“I SIRIously hope that this thing will not have Carrier IQ on it and be ready in time for rebranding for iPhone 5.
Sorry for the double post but I can’t edit my quote on the android app
Woz said, “my ice cream sammich phone beat the Crap out of yo phone Apple. So how you like them apples, Apple? “
“Now that Steve Jobs has passed away, I can finally ditch that IPhone and IOS.”.
With Steve gone, now I don’t have to use any of that Apple crap!
Booming voice from the heavens “Et tu, Woz?”
“What a minute, you mean you guys have had apps for porn this whole time!? FML!”
“Are you sure these edges aren’t too sharp? Look what it’s doing to my beard!”
Dude, this Star Trek convention is gonna be so cool. I got tons of things for Spock to sign…Do you think he will like my beard?
You mean this doesn’t come with an ACTUAL Ice Cream Sandwich?!?! I had my orange bib ready to go!!
Outed member of the group “Droids in iSheep clothing,” Steve Wozniak, screams “Vive La Revolution!” moments before being removed to an undisclosed location for ‘re-education’.
Steve Wozniak: “…and thanks to Optimus Prime, my iphone has now transformed into this wonderful and breathtaking piece of technology!”
Audience: “How come there isn’t an AllSpark around when you need one?”
“So this is what adultery feels like… WINNING!”
yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! siri just told me ice cream sandwich is the best OS
“I’ll gladly give it to Tim Cook as a christmas gift!”
“I’m glad you guys recognized me. Those jerks at Apple made me stand in a damn line to get the iPhone!”
“O my agod” ~ asian voice
“I may still be on the apple payroll, but you keep giving your products such delicious names, and I’m hungry”
LMAO
In a declaratory tone:
“I don’t have a problem! I can stop whenever I want! Right after I find a place to plug this in……”
Moments before he was mauled…
WoZ:
“Well I thank you for letting me come in to slobbishly graze on all of your ice cream san… *ERMM* I mean.. come to personally pick up this amazing piece of hardware…”
“This Galaxy Nexus is for.. *AHEM* private use.. I in no way.. *AHEM* plan to take this device, and along with my colleagues, use it to formulate lawsuits against.. *COUGH, COUGH* Google or Samsung. I stand by Apples commitment to.. *GRUMBLE* play nicely with other companies and manufacturers.”
“What?! YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME?! Well..Well.. BACK UP!! BACK UP NOW!!!”
“Suuuuuuure. You all thought you were going to just take your phone back from MISTER FATTY McFAT GUY, huh?! Well this ain’t just last year’s laziness protruding from my midsection you buffoons!”
“My svelte-like chest is strung with a pretty little set of Apple’s newest creations.. what I like to call.. iBOMBS!”
“Oh yes! and this little gem in my hand.. so small you can’t even see it… This would be theee.. DETONATOR!! The thinnest and lightest detonator manufactured to date as a matter of fact…”
Spectators:
“Is this really how bat-sh!t crazy you need to be before you will be considered for employment by Apple? Lets get em’!”
You think this is awesome..just wait till you see what I get when Bill Gates croaks!
“This phone is so badass you ought to change the name from Galaxy Nexus to Nexus Honey Badger ”
For those of you who don’t know about the honey badger here’s a link
NSFW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg
“So what do you guys call it? Ice what? Oh okay Ice cream sandwich, got it. Us boys back at Apple tend to name our products after exotic animals and fruit…”
Judging by the look on his face and the shape of his mouth, probably just:
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.”
Honestly, what more needs to be said?
I have to hurry up & head home before Apple initiates the mobileme/findme on my 4s that I’m here @ GHQ!
“I did not have cellular relations with that phone…Miss iOS”
LOL
Steve *singing*: Oh say can you see! By the dawn of Galaxy Nexus’ light. What so proudly we awaited, since Google’s last unpacking.
Google Employee: Let me see your identification.
Woz: [with a small wave of his hand] You don’t need to see my identification.
Google Employee: We don’t need to see his identification.
Woz: This is not the android you’re looking for.
Google Employee: This is not the android we’re looking for.
Woz: There is no ice cream sandwich.
Google Employee: There is no ice cream sandwich.
Woz: You will go to Apple in 6 months and buy an iPhone 5.
Google Employees: We will go to Apple in 6 months and buy an iPhone 5.
Woz Move along. Google Employee: Move along… move along.
Android or iOS, that is the question. To be first, or not to be first, there isn’t a doubt.
It’s my new Nexus! Woohoo! Woohoo! Woo… Oops – I think I just peed a litte bit.
Hey guys, I swing both ways!
But that little Galaxy Nexus sure knows how to “Beam me up” if you know what I mean (wink, wink).
“Am I going to use it? Well of course! I’m still 7 months away from my next phone upgrade at Apple!”
Ut oh, i’ve gone and done it now
Guy showing the camel toe says to asian guy “Now that Steve is gone, Woz can quit being a “camel toe” and finally have the freedom to get what he wants without being scared of Steve!” Asian guy replies “I know! Looks like the big man likey. Looks like we’re about to get a free truffle shuffle”
Dammit, Chavez, where’s my Ice Cream Sammich?! I gave up Apples for this. Look at me, can’t you tell?
I think the big beautiful screen makes me look slimmer. So does the free shirt. What do you think?
“I was there when Apple started, and I held the line…I was there when Steve first stepped down, and I held the line…I was there when he came back, and I held the line…but now, I hold the line of eager VZW customers”
“I’ve got ‘five’ reasons right here why you can’t tweet that I’m an Android-convert! You’ll hear what I think about Ice Cream Sandwich soon enough.”
(Woz quoting history: http://www.engadget.com/2010/11/18/exclusive-woz-misquoted-almost-every-app-that-i-have-is-bette/)
Huzzah! A battery powered phone. (hence the fist pump in the photo)
(then to the crowd)
What? (Shoulder Shrug) It’s not like the iPhone 4S can run off a battery?
“I got that bitch as nexus,
Bitchiz love nexuses”
i hope you can use curs words and i’m not disqualified or something.
oh and “nexuses” is the actual plural form of nexus, sound kinda weird right
here’s the link to dictionary.com
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/nexus
Read what my Nexus says: “Courage”. Ain’t it the truth? Ain’t it the truth? – Woz (The Cowardly Lion)
Steve Wozniak is saying “If anyone comes near me I’m gonna knock them out:
(The guy with two knuckles up) is saying to the Asian man ” Steve has no clue what he is in for with these two fingers I paralyze him and have the Galaxy Nexus”
“…I don’t really know what to do with my hands…”
“Quick! Somebody use my Galaxy Nexus to take a picture of me with my titanium spork over my head while holding a sheet of paper a wrote on with my yellow laser and lifting one bare foot off my segway next to a stop sign. The Phandroid.com post has been up for 3 minutes already! Anybody? Come on, I NEED to win this!”
Typo: “…a sheet of paper a wrote on…” should read “…a sheet of paper I wrote on…”
“O M G, ok so I was like totally like shopping with the girls today. And Becky was like lets like totally go to (insert generic mall restaurant). So we are sipping our peppermint martinis and like the next thing I know this batch next to me gets up and leaves, and what is sitting there on the bar? Uhhh only like the coolest “never to be released America”, totally European, totally chic galaxy nexus. Can you believe that or what? It must be my lucky hunters-orange jacket that I was wearing.”
ohhh pick me pick me, I tried so hard… pwease :-)
The only reason I am switching from my iPhone is that I heard ice cream sandwich will have a new shaving app
“I prefer the voice commands on Android. I hate it how Siri always talks back!”
“Man, oh man…that turtleneck…for a second, when I saw you…I thought you were…Oh…Oh, thank God!”
“What do you mean I have to sign a two year contract AND if I cancel early I have to pay a huge penalty?” “Who makes these rules?!!!!”
As I said about a year ago… “I like to be more on the outside of apple because I prefer to judge products objectively”… If you don’t believe it, you can youtube it.
“ALRIGHT DOES ANYONE HAVE A COOLER WITH SOME ICE? My ice cream sandwich is gonna melt”
“Meh… iLike iT’S-iT better”
“I can’t use a Samsung. I’m creative.”
No lines, no waiting… I love google.
Steve: Ohhh, so that’s where we got all our new features from.
Finally, at last I have 4G!
I’m so happy I can finally have widgets! WIDGETS!
I’m holding on to this baby tight like this! Face unlock, widgets, android beam, dual core. Man oh man. And to think I have waited overnight to be the first in line for less.
blah double post
“Steve? oohhhh I’m sorry, you must have me mistaken.. My name is Phil. … Phil Margera”
hahaha
Woz: “I’ve got a Galaxy Nexus and youuu don’t. Na na na na boo boo!”
Onlookers: “Really, Woz? That’s not very nice of you”
Woz: *sticks out tongue* “SUCK IT BITCHES!!!”
Lol probably not, as the onlookers are probably Google employees who have one of their own, but it’s still funny and looks like that’s what could be going on. If they aren’t Google employees, then there’s no doubt in my mind that that’s exactly what he’s saying haha.
“Whoa guys, you just messed up. Now that I have the Galaxy Nexus in hand, I can infect it with minor bugs to completely delay a US release. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!”
TONIGHT…WE DINE IN MOUNTAIN VIEW!
Everybody fist pump if you love Android!!
“Yeah I got the Galaxy Nexus. Big whoop. Wanna fight about it!?!”
Hey guys this things OS is called ice cream sandwhich, screw IOS 6 lets call our next OS apple pi ala mode since it will be 3.141592653589793264338327950288416939937510…..times better than anything google can come up with!
“What was that? I can’t hear you over the awesomeness of this new phone! Did you know those kids at Google figured out how to fit all kinds of desserts into these little boxes?”
”
Oh sheeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
*victory dance, followed by running round circles in the yard screaming like a little girl, waving the Nexus in the air*
*composed posture now* Time to get me some ladies in da club homes, cya around!
*sprints off into the Icecream van and away*
“
“the truth is apple uses (and) roids!”
“What do you mean we (apple) didn’t make it? I thought we owned all electronics?”
“I’m tired of paying $20 a month to tether my iPhone to Verizon’s network but there’s no Ap for that in the ApStore… The recession’s been hard on all of us!”
“What? You’re giving me this? If I get home and the FBI breaks down my door to get your phone back I’m totally going to leave an ice cream sandwich in my pants”
“This isn’t patented is it?”
Guys, guys, really come check this out! You won’t believe what is happening here! I know I know I’m “that” guy but I’ve waited long enough, really! Yes, yes, I know won’t raise our property values but it *will* be the future. You have my word on that!
Steve W.-“Oh man, i cant wait to show this to Steve, he’ll really hate me now. So can you show me this cool hidden easter egg thing? Everyone at the office will be jealous!”
Eric Schmidt- “Just keep those lawers off our back and will give you a new one every year to show off”
*Steve gets a hold of the phone and turns it on* And he proclaimed, “LET THERE BE LI- i mean… ICE CREAM SANDWICH IN ALL ITS GOODNESS!” And the crowd threw up their arms in joy.
“It’s the size that counts, not how you use it.”
Stay away from my Nexus!!!! I will never ever ever go back to Crapple!!!!
NOOO! You can’t have it! It’s mine!!!
“This is so great! I got the Galaxy Nexus for free and didn’t have to stand in line for it, like I did for the iPhone 4S!”
“I told you, it’s a MANzier!!”
The Woz: “I don’t care how many cool and neat Google™ Android things you throw my way, I’M NOT LEAVING THE LAWN TILL ONE OF YOU GIVES ME A JOB HERE (and a real-life, honest to goodness Ice Cream Sammich!)
Mwahahaha! It’s mine all MINE! Now get back or I’ll cast Greater Fire Breath on your asses!
“Post this pic anywhere Other than Phandroid.com and I will Knock You Out!!”…
Ok, ok, ok…… you caught me. I just had to figure out what this damn ice cream sandwich is all about…geez. Time to talk about an early release of the iphone 5 and while you’re at it think of a better name for our OS….something that sounds good to eat
Someone in the crowd: Of course he wants it to reference food….doesn’t look like he’s missed many meals himself
Who knew all these parts Samsung has been selling Apple could look this awesome!!! Now if I could just win one of those Kindle Fire’s from Phandroid, I can get rid of my iPad2, too.
“I don’t know what the big deal about the iPad or iPhone was, I heard these Android things do all kinds of stuff. I can’t wait to figure out how to get it to make me an ice cream sandwhich, or maybe some gingerbread men, even friggin cupcakes… Oh, the possibilities….. Let’s just hope they got all the bees out of the honeycomb.”
Woz: “So this one time Steve and me were arguing over whether to call it the Lisa or Transistors and stuff. It came down to blows, I was sticking and moving. Even caught him with a mean hook. In the end… well the rest is history.”
Goodbye fried Apples! Hello fried Ice Cream!
“Guys, I am telling you, is all about a balanced diet of desserts and fruits. Haven’t we seen enough people get cancer and die because they only eat apples?”
“Awwwww man, I thought they were really giving me an Ice Cream Sandwich. Guess I’ll put chocolate syrup on the thing and lick it off or maybe I can trade it for a real Ice Cream Sandwich. Wait! this is a Galaxy Nexus. Now I can actual enjoy a smart phone because its awesome and Steve doesn’t make me use it.”
I came for some Icecream sandwich, I stay for the Phone.
“It violates patent #’s 13, 73, 265, 564, and 839! Let the games begin, legal system.”
I fought my way through the Android Army, into the cupcake
lair. Then down to the Donut Den where I used my ibrick to beat the Eclair Elves
into submission. I don’t know if you have ever seen an Eclair Elf bleed but
there was Froyo everywhere. Suddenly I looked up and I was standing face to
face with the Gingerbread Man. All he would do is run around and keep saying
“Run, run as fast as you can; You cant catch me, I’m the gingerbread
man”. I would say it most compares to an iphone user who insists that
android sucks, and then asks to use your navigation with live traffic to get
somewhere. I chased that little guy for hours to no avail. That’s when I found
the Honeycomb caverns, and everybody knows when Gingerbread touches Honeycomb
you get Ice Cream Sandwiches. So I used my navigation and steered the Gingerbread
Man right into the Honeycomb Caverns, and here I stand before you Ice Cream Sandwich
in hand.
Occupy the pastry
shop!
“Yes, this was just given to me. I paid nothing for it. In return, however, Larry said I’m going to have to wear this shirt to the Apple campus.”
“Thanks guys, I was getting tired of my iPhone’s ‘Unsupported Feature’ error every time I tried to make a call.”
Occupy Google, I beg of you, please disperse, these phones will work on all networks, we are all part of the 99% now, where’s my Segway?
“pleeassee take the Nexus, but you touch that t-shirt and…….”
“I never understood why Stevie died mad at God. From what I heard Stevie wanted to change the world and God wouldn’t give him the source code. But now that I’ve tried this Galaxy Nexus I see God made the right decision”
ok thank you thank you for this new awesome phone now im gonna call my apple friends and tell them what to put in the iphone 5 so it will almost be as good as your phone thank you
“I am the great and wonderful Woz and if you think you need a brain just pick up a Nexus Galaxy”
Alright! Ice-cream sandwich! …. Hey! What’s the deal?! this isn’t a Galaxy Nexus… its a Verizon chocolate sandwiched between 2 gingerbread phones!
Woz, “People! I honestly thought it was the 4s…” Inner thoughts(Let me run before my Ice Cream Sandwich melts..)
” I’LL BE BACK ” (for more)
” O0ooo0o0oOO00oooo000o0oO this ICS is cccooooooollllddddddd!!!”
I scream, you scream, the Woz screams for Ice Cream sandwich!
My name’s Steve and I’m a flash-a-holic.
It’s like an iPhone, but… better.
“Everyone needs this phone I don’t know why its taking them so long cause we need it now.”
“Ice Cream Sandwich?… I don’t see anything I can eat”
“You can’t have my ice cream sandwich! It’s for me to hug, and smother, and love! It’s my precious…”
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccooooolllaaaa!!!!!
“Alright guys, Apple can’t know that we got the Galaxy Nexus. We all have to run to Mexico! To the Segway mobile!”
I really hope I win this. I want the galaxy tab so bad :C.
This is our time to stand up and fight iPhone with ice cream….who is with me.
Thanks for the free stuff! Can you point me in the direction of the ice cream truck? They said there were free ice cream sandwiches.
Forget the Fonz… I bet all of you would love to be the WOZ. AAAAAEEEEYYYYY!”
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee… I’m tradin’ my apple for an Andy!”
Vocally, Wozniak said, “Finally, it is here! The waiting is over, and I have the ice cream 4.0 OS in my hand. Thank you everyone! I’m rushing home to show my family, and blog at 4G speeds.”
In his mind, the thought the following truths… “Oh no, hold on 4.0? At home I already have my Apple iPhone 4S with and version 5.0 OS, did I just drive five miles to get a free $700.00 phone and also get a hidden downgrade? Okay, the screen is bigger, this new font is beautiful, very bright, sweet camera, Google Wallet, two different markets to purchase app through, and I customize almost everything – an amazing upgrade!”
“One punch! That’s how I stole his spot in line!”
Thank you Google Droid folks, I am heading home to post this bad boy on eBay!
“I’m the winner winner of this android dinner”
CarrierIQ, I mean, ahhh………………………………. iOS 5.1 will be coming late january
[chuckles] Don’t you get it, Google? It’s over. You lose!
Now if you’ll excuse me, all this talk has made me hungry.
[bites into the Nexus Ice Cream Sandwich; his face contorts at the difficulty of eating a Smartphone]
“This device is amazing! I will be using this as my every day phone, now I just need to buy another one for extra battery. I am going to go home right away and start building my own custom ROM!”
“yowza!!! Wooo hooo!! Now its peanut butter jelly time!”
Mine, mine, mine, all mine …. mmmm I like Ice Cream!
Wherever smart people work, doors are unlocked. And the doors have just been brought down for good hear in Mountain View with Galaxy Nexus and Ice Cream Sandwich. The Battle Royal may have just ended with this amazing device.
“Yo Apple, I’m really happy for you, and ima let you finish, but Ice Cream Sandwiches are much more delicious! om nom nom”
He said, with this new shirt and new phone, I should forget about Apple and I should start working for and with Google.
Google: “Come to the dark side, we have Ice Cream Sandwiches…. and multitasking”
Steve: “What is multitasking?”
“Wow, the Apple spys really missed the mark on Ice Cream Sandwhich, since my new Nexus phone runs much better than the iPhone 4s which I waited all night in line for. It’s a good thing Steve Jobs is not around anymore because some of my friends in Apple would have been fired.”
8 years, 8 God d+mn years I keep coming to this place expecting to sink my face into a tasty treat…and what do I get? Some silly cell pho….wait, what’s that..”sniff, sniff, sniff”….I think I smell a jellybean in that building over there…see ya later suckers
“If you thought SkyNet was scary, imagine if Steve were alive to see me buy this.”
“Being an ‘Apple’ guy, I resist a temptation like a dessert?”
I searched the galaxy for the greatest smart phone/OS combination and reached this nexus. Do I hear an ice cream truck…..?
Apple gives apple.
Blackberry gives berries.
AND YOU ARE GIVING ICECREAM AND THAT TOO WITH SANDWICH.HAHA LOL
WHAT A COMBINATION.
“C’mon folks! Being an ‘Apple’ guy, its natural that I cannot resist temptations, and this time I fell for the Ice Cream Sandwich”
What do we want ( Google ) , When do we want it ! NOW!
“I was doing Tae Bo, now Im on p90X; does it show?”
“I asked Siri where I could pick up some Ice Cream. It’s close enough.”
“…and that’s when I said, ‘But Steve, that thing looks just like the old one.’ Well hey guys I gotta get outta here. I can’t wait to try out these ‘widget’ things!”
Finally i got my Galaxy Nexus.
With this phone, the war between apple and android shall rage on!
*unlocks phone*
ooooh new android features
lets take some these ideas and put them on the iphone 5 and then make it even better on the iphone5s
‘Wow! I finally got a phone that works! “
“Ah now I can inform Verizon of any bugs/issues so that it will delay its release so more iPhones will be purchased for Christmas instead”
“An Ice Cream Sandwich tastes better than an Apple Pie”