When fanboyism goes too far: Android vs iOS argument results in two friends stabbing each other


broken beer bottle

There’s nothing wrong with being a mobile fanboy, for the most part. Sure, your bias sometimes keeps you blind to the positives provided by the other side and you make excuses for the fault of the platform you prefer, but at least arguments are typically lighthearted, healthy  and harmless.

The same can’t be said for two Oklahoma roommates. In what appears to be the resultant of drunken stupor on both sides, an Android user and his iOS faithful buddy began a conversation about which platform was better. Only, what started out as a conversation ended up in bloodshed as the two ended up stabbing each other with broken beer bottles, according to Tulsa, OK’s Channel 8 ABC news.

There’s no word on how the exact conversation went down, but it’s hard for us to believe that these two felt so strongly and passionately about their preference that they were driven to try and kill each other. This scenario is likelier:

Roommate 1: iOS just works! Rah!

Roommate 2: Oh yea? Well, Android phones have higher resolution displays and more RAM! Hoo!

Roommate 1: What did you say about my grams?

Roommate 2: What?

Commence brawling. Really, it’s hard to think it went any other way considering alcohol was involved. Whatever the case may be, we’ll use this opportunity to remind you that these phones and tablets are only slabs of metal, glass, plastic and silicon made by companies who want your money — they often aren’t worth arguing about, and they certainly aren’t worth dying for.

Quentyn Kennemer
The "Google Phone" sounded too awesome to pass up, so I bought a G1. The rest is history. And yes, I know my name isn't Wilson.

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  1. And faith in humanity takes another drop in the stocks today.

    1. I heard the Demi-Gods have started putting more stocks in Mars after finding out that there was liquid water on the planet. I may have to invest in real estate there while it’s still cheap.

      1. You can probably buy all the Martian real estate you want from that guy selling pieces of the moon. Just remember that Elon Musk, aka Iron Man is planning on sending people to Mars and will most likely be crowned Martian Emperor, so your titles and deeds may face some legal challenges.

        Of course I would not dare oppose Emperor Musk, that is unless he proclaims Mars to be an official IOS planet. In that case I would have no choice but to build my own fleet of starships and invade the planet, slaughtering all iSheep I find. Grinding their skulls beneath my heels, driving them before me, and hearing the lamentations of their women!;)

        Tablone jihad forever!;)

        1. His great*8 grandson will inherit the throne and be crowned Emperor Mengsk.

    2. Woah dude! Don’t be buying stock in faith in humanity right now! I’m an investment writer over at The Motley Fool and I can vouch for the fact that the stock market is likely at the top of an epic bubble!;)

      When it bursts stocks are going to tank and “faith in humanity” is going down extra hard!;)

  2. It’s serious business

  3. 2 idiots debate over X vs Y and then fight: this happens everyday and it’s barely news worthy.
    But if it’s iOS vs Android , it’s worth mentioning ?

    Oh plz, give us a break.

    Slow day or what ?

    1. Considering this is an Android website, I’d say it is worth mentioning. Also, it probably is a slow day since it’s Friday, which is typically a slow day in the Android world.

      1. Its a funny Friday story that allows us funny blokes to come on here and crack jokes about the epic holy war that will never end.

        The most fun I’ve ever had on this site that’s for sure;)

        Tablone Jihad forever!;)

  4. Are you sure it was beer bottles and not the backs of an iPhone 4 and galaxy s6

    1. I see what you did there. Nice.

    2. Chuckles haven’t you seen the drop test videos of the Galaxy S6 and its nigh indestructible glass? You literally need to run over the thing with a car to break the glass!

  5. Darwinism example at it’s finest. “Knock yourself out dudes.”

  6. #nerd rage.

  7. Tastes great – iPhone; Less filling – Android

  8. This makes the contest I participated in at SXSW look like childs play.

    1. Not your fault, but I think that the contest that you participated in at SXSW made the contest that you participated in at SXSW look like child’s play.

    2. Whatever happened with that? Was there a followup article about it?

      1. Not to my knowledge. I searched long and hard too. I figured we lost since I didn’t see or hear anything about it.

        1. LMAO!! Well that’s a good sign

    3. I still think it was rigged! You got robbed! Recount!


  9. During the fight conversation…

    iOS fanboy – “you like customization so much? I’m gonna customize your face with gashes and punctures!

    Android fanboy – * impersonating Jonny Ive * ” I’m about to make you 20% thinner and lighter when I carve 15 pounds of flesh off you! ”

  10. Ios fans just like to get beat up

  11. You all android fanboys are stoofid

    1. you tell them bae <3

      1. you both are stupid , microsoft is way ahead from android and ios

        1. Blah..You know who has the right idea? Blackberry. That’s who. They got Android and iOS in a headlock.

          1. LOL u all funny! – that was good! lol

          2. I’d like some of what you’re smoking! Show me a 7 inch blackberry phone or get in line for the righteous butt whuppin I’m lining up to give all the microscopic screen loving Apple and windows phone freaks;) 5.5″ screen? Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight unless you’re looking for a free ride to the morgue;)

    2. Are you calling my pint a poof?

    3. Found the troll. Get back under the bridge, ugly.

  12. But honestly. During these discussions, I very often want to punch in the face of the person I am discussing with. And kick its face. And stomach. Run over the person with a car, potentially a bus or a truck. You hear that Martin? ios is not better, its just different you motherf buttsuck appl… Oh, sorry. I meant, that I do understand the feels in that situation

  13. Ok, so who won?!

    1. Android Fan boy of course!! Both physically and righteously!!!!

  14. I remember an iPhone fanboy was debating with me at Chili’s… Two years later…his body still hasn’t been found..#winning

    P.S. Aaron Hernandez should of taken a few lessons from me.

    1. Good on you mate! Those small screen loving, girly handed Apple freaks have no business bringing their “one handed operation is a must” arguments to bear against the glory of giant screened android flagshipes! Phablets today! Tablones tomorrow! Giant screens are the way, the truth, and the light of the future! Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!;)

  15. This story is fake, Apple fanboys won’t argue in person. Much less leave their moms basement long enough for human interaction

  16. were the pieces of broken glass from Windows?

    1. You did not just…

      1. haha I thought it was a good one!

  17. To hell with both of them. I miss the good old days, when I could play with my Palm. All. Night. Long.

    No, wait… I meant… oh, never mind.

  18. “Your girlfriend is better than an iPhone” proceeds to break beer bottle over head.

  19. Ridiculous! What is the world coming to!? Everyone knows that the only phone based argument worth coming to blows is whether or not a 5.5+ inch screen is too big! The answer, of course, is nothing short of an 8 inch screen is “too big” and I’ll kill anyone who says otherwise!;)

    1. I’m going to be the one to say it; I feel like there’s sexual innuendo in here…

      1. he was skatin around the issue

  20. You clearly aren’t aware of the war we are in. If you’re not ready to die for Android, you’re not a fan.
    *dark humor, not everybody has it*

    1. LMAO if you’re not ready to die for android, you are not a PHANDROID!! see what i did there? tip your waitresses on the way out! night everybody! haha

      1. I think you forced that one. LoL!!

        1. maybe a little bit haha should have quit on a high night with my other post

          1. Foolish, human. We cannot have you making mistakes like that in this time of war. LoL!!

          2. iSuck

          3. I just laughed out loud like an idiot. Now everyone at work is looking at me. >.>

          4. well at least us android fans have a sense of humor. does this look like the face of someone with a sense of humor?

    2. Spoken like a true Klingon warrior! Today is truly a good day to die, for the honor and glory of android! Kaplahh!;)

  21. Let me just leave this knife over here
    What do you guys think is better? Android or ios? ^_<

  22. Yeah yeah. The real questionis here Is… Who won?

  23. Did he use his iKnife? lol

  24. Nothing to do with A vs I. Blame drinking !!!

  25. My guess is that the Apple fan is going to be suing the Android user…

  26. Taking it too serious… Just a friendly argument that mutated into a broken bottle fight due to alchohol

  27. Fan boys are drop kicks.

  28. Ladies and Gentleman welcome to Friday Night…Um Beer Bottle Fight!. In this corner we have Android and the other Apple…Screw this i dont get paid enough for this! ?.


  30. Reminds me of the old Time-Life Books ads:

    “John Wesley Hardin; so mean he once shot a man just for using an iPhone.”

  31. OK, but who one the fight?

  32. It a robot vs a fruit. Who you think going to win? one Hand up with Droid.

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