Android Market Developer Has Had Enough, Goes Ballistic on Market Commenters


Can this be likened to workplace stress? Unwarranted verbal abuse due to psychological instability? Or do these market commenters really deserve it? Up to everyone to decide for themselves, I suppose, but one thing is absolutely true – this is freaking hilarious and I’m sure other developers know exactly how he feels. [Market via Reddit]

Calculate your Body Mass Index (BMI).
For adults, men and women.

I’m so bored with persons like Dora and other. Why are you so STUPID ?!

– Dora, 5’2 = 62 inches, and 62 inches with 120lbs = 21.94 BMI !!!
– Charles and Erik, you are not obese, juste stupid.
– Yes Charles, if you put 6 FEET in the INCHES text field and 175 lbs, yes the calculation can’t be right. 6 foot = 72 inches with 175lbs = 23.73 BMI !!!
My application can not guess that you have not learned to read
– Tom, 25.38, OMG, yes, more than 25 your are overweight, BUT if you exceeded by only 0.38, or 1, seriously! think a little! A lipo between your ears to get to 25? It’s on the house!
– tyler, non, and you, are you kidding ? BMI is calculated ONLY with Height and Weight (see wikipedia).

***Weight/lbs*** | ***Tall/inches*** IF you choose IMPERIAL UNITS (menu button) OR
***Weight/kg*** | ***Tall/cm*** IF you choose METRIC UNITS (menu button)

AND I want to thank those who took the time to understand this simple app.

Quentyn Kennemer
The "Google Phone" sounded too awesome to pass up, so I bought a G1. The rest is history. And yes, I know my name isn't Wilson.

K-Mart to Offer Sprint’s Original Galaxy Tab for $100

Previous article – A Portal for Bootloader Unlocking, Kernel Source Downloading and OpenSense SDK

Next article

You may also like


  1. Good stuff. Hate political correctness.

  2. Haha, this guy is hilarious. I don’t blame him, he handeled dumbasses well.

  3. If you have that thin a skin, stay out of the public sight. A developer should *never* go off on a customer. Comments that are just plain wrong should just be ignored. And if it’s negative ratings, well, they happen. Sometimes they’re deserved, sometimes not.

    In this case, all the negative comments just became deserved.

    1. Yea but they should break down the rating system like appearance, difficulty of use, etc and this problem would be avoided I beleive..I rate apps on how it performs and how it looks not if I like it or not…See people comment on emotion and not fact. That is our problem if the app works but you cant figure it out with the directions in the app description you should not rate 1 star for being incompetent….I would be pissed to as a developer…Rate based on facts not emotion its taht simple

      1. Hey that’s a good idea!

    2. Why because people refuse to read? No the developer was right in what he did just based people are stupid that isn’t the devs fault.

    3. I totally disagree with you. I am a developer, I see these idiotic comments all the time.

      The worst app I have seen these on are the Tunelink Auto app. It clearly states that you have to buy a $99 device that plugs into your car. People just dont read.

      There are so many comments on that app that say
      “This app claims to be free, but you have to buy a 100$ thing. Rip off”.

      And one person even called it a Scam.

      People need to just learn how to read and quit being idiots.

      1. Disagree all you want. When I see a developer attack their customers I see: Immature, unprofessional, untrustworthy, unwilling to listen to customers, and not someone I will _ever_ do business with.

        The developer did nothing but make himself a laughingstock.

    4. Customer? Most of them never paid a penny most likely…..

  4. I like this developer.

    1. I like this comment.

      1. i like turtles

        1. I like that you like things

    2. THIS GUY ROCKS. YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, USER… Go developer. It must be frustrating trying to help people who do not know how to follow simple instructions.

  5. win

  6. Maybe his next app should be “Calculate your IQ”

    1. Then he’s gonna get complaints and low ratings from people who are upset that their scores are very low.

      “This app sucks, it says I only have an IQ of 55. 1 star!!!”

      1. You hit that one on the head!! lol

    2. If IQ is below some threshold, the app could recommend using Internet Explorer as your preferred browser.

  7. I’d be pissed too if I had to answer idiot questions all day…but instead of going off I would probably rewrite my app to handle feet and inches instead of just inches…seems like the most time effective solution.

    1. BINGO.

      I’m guessing that the author may be European since people certainly say they are 185cm tall, but most people in the U.S. would have to do the mental calculation to tell you their height in inches. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that I’m 74inches tall. I think they’d look at me crosseyed if I did.

      That said, as a professional software developer myself (going on… jesus… 30 years) I feel his pain.

      1. I think this dev is just a bit irked that there’s so many people out there who aren’t willing to do the mental math you spoke of…and I feel his pain too, not just for the devs out there, but for the sheer amount of people who complain about a product because they’re too lazy to learn how to use it.

        Sad day.

    2. The only problem is…, I really do not have time! Even for this small correction, but I thing about it. I have an new UI who’s sleeping on my HDD, but it’s not my priority now :/.

    3. I don’t know that this solution would answer the problem completely. you would still have people put text in the wrong fields and complain.

      I think the only way to help eliminate it all together is to have a drop down menu or other gui style selector that includes the units for you so you have no human error regarding text inputs.

  8. I Love It! I feel this mans pain. It has become obvious to me from reading comments on some apps that the users are f’n idiots!

    1. you just figured this out>??

  9. As a developer myself I’ve wanted to do this many many times. So many people do not read the description or, if they do, usually only the first couple sentences. Then you get a plethora of emails and questions in the reviews that are already answered in the actual description already. It’s pretty painful sometimes.

  10. The comment system on the Android Market is fairly flawed overall. You can simply do a star rating and make whatever half-assed comment you’d like. It’s what EBAY feedback was when it first started. If the commenting system was more detailed but not ridiculously complicated, like 3-4 areas of ratings… you’d IMMEDIATELY disqualify people who lack the intelligence to complete these steps or were just wanting to vent and won’t do it because it requires work.

    I assure you, if you make the feedback system a tad more involved with a few more details, you’ll eliminate pointless comments on both ends of the spectrum and get a tad more quality-oriented feedback. People who are determined to let you know how they feel will do so, and those who are just wanting to tlk lik dis will fall to the wayside.

    As for the dev, kudos..

    1. Well stated!

    2. Amen!

  11. I support the hazing of stupid people.

  12. Some people are too dumb for a smartphone. There should be a test before being able to purchase one. Kind of like wearing spandex is a privilege not a right.

    1. No, smartphones should be sold by Ikea. If you can’t assemble it, you shouldn’t be using it.

    2. There goes Androids market share!

  13. Very funny. To the commenter who said that the developer should “never” go off on a commenter, I have to agree, if you are a mouse.

    1. The person who left that comment doesn’t realize that devs are people too. :)

  14. Android Market absolutely has to introduce a way to respond to comments. Perhaps not in the style he has – though I sympathize! But if people write stupid things, there has to be a way to set the record straight. So many good, good apps have had bad reviews by morons who have just discovered the “manage processes” screen, and noticed that the app process is still listed after they exit. “Keeps running after I close, why does it do that, kills the battery, 1 STAR” etc etc. When in fact it’s not running at all. As most aware people know, Android mothballs the process in case you relaunch the app, and defers killing it until it needs resources for something else. Almost every app in the system will remain in that list after you close it. But still the “stays running drains my battery” brigade carry on with their 1-Star reviews, and there is no way to reply to them.

  15. I always feel like doing this. Some of the people using the application are so stupid it drives me crazy.

  16. this is why i’m not a developer. all my app descriptions would end up like that

  17. Lol, awesome dev.

  18. Awesome

  19. AWESOME developer….just for that I want to download his app!!

    Stupidity is a HUGE problem these days

  20. This is an example of why developers have the right to go off when they want to. These people should be made to feel how dumb they actually are and this developer is taking a step in the right direction.

    It’s assumed that by downloading ANYTHING on the market, you can read. Screw these people.

  21. I could care less about BMI, but I just bought the paid version of this app to show this guy some love!

    1. I just did the same, this dev definitely deserves the support.

    2. You inspired me to do the same.

    3. *couldn’t care less

      1. I don’t know why but that really pisses me off when people type “could care less.” It just takes whatever they are about to say and makes it stupid as hell.

        I will use it correctly.

        I could care less that people type could care less all the time. See? That means that I care enough that there is room for me to care less than I currently do, putting me at the average care level of caring. Who knows, maybe I care a ton and there is a whole bunch of room for me to care less than I do at the moment.

        I just made everyone dumber by this comment and I couldn’t care less that I did.

        1. I couldn’t care less that you could care less about people using the phrase “could care less” in a careless way. :B

  22. LOL, hilarious.
    Yes, most people are very dumb. Its a reality.

    However, its very easy to do a simple application like this dumb-user-proof. Maybe the author of the application should provide simple measures to ensure even dumb users get to use his app properly.

    For example, this guy could have easily put the units conversion right in the screen, not in the menu, to make it a bit less dumb-proof.

    The developer says: “My application can not guess that you have not learned to read”.
    Yeah, that was funny, but..maybe you actually can, and its the developer’s fault for either being lazy or not thinking about it. If a user inputs feet where inches should have been, I think its easy to detect that, I doubt anybody is 6 inches tall.

    So yeah, its very funny and as a developer I have always wanted to do that, too. But c’mon, those are things you can take into account for your app and design for user stupidity. That does not mean users aren’t stupid. Of course many of them are, but in this case one could easily (or so it seems) take that simple effort for avoiding those issues.

  23. I think he’s just saying what we all think in our heads when we read such idiotic reviews.

  24. Its a smart phone, but users like this aren’t Smart enough to own one..Kudos to the developer for slapping the dumbos

  25. Market badly needs an option for devs to reply to individual comments

    1. 2nd good idea in this page! first is having category for ratings: app functionality, looks, and others different category

  26. I have always found that the negative comments about apps sound like the come from 12-year old. I’m always floored when someone posts 1 star, says”this is junk, did not work on my modded-suped up phone”, and insults the Developers. However, This Dev’s response sounds exactly the same.

    Though we don’t know anything about the commenters or the dev, it really shows the grotesque side of internet anonymity. I bet when the dev was in school his teachers didn’t talk to him like that when he couldn’t figure things out.

    As for the comments here lauding the response. On the surface it is funny, I laughed too. But just stepping back a bit and thinking about how we should interact with people we don’t know would suggest not responding in this way.

    As to the arrogance of comments that “some people are to dumb for smart phones.” In any area there are people who are knowledgeable and those who are not. Perhaps grampa who had 65 years of valuable knowledge in many things decided to get a smartphone and is now learning what it can do.

    Again, the Dev comes across like a petulant 12-year old–and a spoilt one at that And when his ex-customers go and buy iPhones he’ll say it’s because they’re too stupid, and they need a phone for stupid people. He’ll really be missing the point.

    1. “Though we don’t know anything about the commenters or the dev”,… Hum, yes you can, by writing an e-mail to him :)

      Like all people who have difficulty understanding why the application is not working for them.

  27. The answer I gave to a person who took the time send me an e-mail (why my description, etc.):

    Unfortunately, I did not have time to fix this little problem (I have a new layout of the interface ready for a long time). I developed this application long time ago, just to familiarize myself with the Android SDK and the Android Market. Initially, there were only metric system, with two text fields. Some people wanted the Imperial unit system… so, the easiest way at that time (given the small number of downloads) was to use “inches” instead “feet and inches”, and add the ability to change the units system by the menu (conventional operation of an application android).

    Unfortunately (or fortunately), it’s the only BMI calculator that seems to satisfy people (simple UI, light weight compared to other, etc), and it has been downloaded many times, long before I write the new description. I preferred to pull out heavy weapons to respond to the problem… until I have time to fix this problem.

    I also wrote all this, by thinking of the other developers which have low notations, and which are thus confronted to the same problem.

    Sorry for my English, it’s not my first language ;)

  28. I have been sooooooooo wanting to do this to some of the users of my app LockMyDroid. Luckily, some of the commenters take care of it for me, such as this doozie:

    “If u r 2 dumb to uninstall this app then go purchase a cacti dildo and use it in every hole imaginable”

  29. I can’t blame this guy at all (I laughed my butt off reading his responses!). I can’t believe some of the stupid stuff that gets posted in the reviews in the market. I was looking at an app that included a voice-activated dialer recently, and people were dinging it with one star left and right because it wanted access to their address book – total morons – how can it dial your contact without access to your address book? You think it just magically knows when you say ‘call Bob’ what number to dial? Many of them never even installed it and tried it – they openly admitted they canceled the install because it wanted access to their address book. They came back to post a negative review without ever using the app to “save” the rest of us from this evil application….what dopes. There are WAY too many idiots posting reviews – I feel for the developers having to deal with this crap on a daily basis.

  30. he should change “tall” to “height”….just sayin’

  31. I think that every developer should put a disclaimer of: Warning, you must be smarter than the object you are working with.

  32. This is what happens when Apple users try to use Android. If everything isn’t spelled out for them, they can’t function.

  33. Some comments should be able to be removed directly. Like people who rate 1 star because the app doesn’t work. How the fuck can you rate something you haven’t tried?! How can you rate a movie you haven’t seen?! Some people just rate out of trolling, not out of knowledge.

  34. I totally understand the dev, I mean, most of the people that comment on Market seems very stupid, and I’m litteraly drowning in comments like these when trying to find out if an app is good, but also comments that the app won’t work for several stupid reasons, like the “Won’t start”-comment on Live Wallpapers. Are you serious? It’s really annoying. The worst comment of all time must be “Doesn’t work on Wildfire, one star”, especially on “requires a phone from the future” type of apps. What did you expect when you bought it? I usually help developers (and myself) by marking them as spam.

  35. Maybe he could use a little of that adrenaline to update his app with a function to convert feet to inches for his customers.. If only he had access to some device that was able to do calculations…. I mean isn’t his app only an app that is doing math for those who don’t want to do math anyway ?

  36. As an android developer, I agree the market comment/rating system is extremely frustrating. Google needs to work on it as the highest priority task to keep developers happy.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More in Apps