PC Mag Author To Android Fans: “Shoot Yourself”


Long time readers of phandroid will know that we’re not afraid to call people out. And that’s exactly what we’re doing to a Mr. John C. Dvorak who a few days ago wrote an article titled, “Cell Phone Mania Must Stop Now!

We can understand that he’s, “sick of reading about new phones,” but how about – oh, I don’t know… NOT READING THEM. The article’s original premise doesn’t seem too horrid, until you actually read the vile hatred he spews in his pitiful words.

Following a sarcastically fictional conversation between mobile enthusiasts discussing issues such as Android being Open Source and the “Kill Switch” on Android and the iPhone, Mr. Dvorak goes on to make a recommendation to those types of people.

“Shoot Yourself.”

Keep in mind this comes from PCMag, a well respected authority in the tech world. He goes on to claim, “When someone gets hold of a new phone, the next thing you know they are all over the Net reviewing it in minute detail—as if it were a great piece of literature to be deconstructed.”

Is there a problem with being enthusiastic with something? Take a look at the publication you write for, sir. Are employees at your place of work not (such as you) not PAID to do virtually this SAME thing, albeit not necessarily in regards to the mobile industry? Seems a bit like biting the hand that feeds you, does it not?

It all became clear once I read a few more paragraphs… Mr. Dvorak is an old, grumpy man who is out of touch with today’s technology and should instead be writing for Abacus Weekly or perhaps a Retired Living magazine. Listen to what he thinks “Social Networking” means:

And what’s so special about social networking anyway? Creating a computer database of people you really don’t know and just pretend to be friends with so you can say hi once in a while? These networks are pretty flimsy, let’s face it. On a phone this is called the address book.

You, my friend, are an idiot. Had you not included that little “Shoot Yourself” comment I likely would have passed over your article as an inspired rant that many can relate to and put down your article a couple paragraphs in. Instead, you made it painfully obvious that you’re out of touch and lost, even within your own ranks at your own organization.

Unfortunately, to understand just how oblivious this guy really is, you have to read the article in full. I hate recommending this but hey, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

I have to give Mr. Dvorak credit for one of his comments which, to be honest, is accidentally genius: “But my complaints are meaningless in the grand scheme of things.”

Amend that sentence to read “My complaints are meaningless”, delete the rest of the article, republish it with a new title and I will applaud you endlessly.

[Via Very Craptastic Article]

Rob Jackson
I'm an Android and Tech lover, but first and foremost I consider myself a creative thinker and entrepreneurial spirit with a passion for ideas of all sizes. I'm a sports lover who cheers for the Orange (College), Ravens (NFL), (Orioles), and Yankees (long story). I live in Baltimore and wear it on my sleeve, with an Under Armour logo. I also love traveling... where do you want to go?

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  1. You might have to give Mr. Dvorak some simpathy… because 1 he hasn’t got his daily perscription or 2 he is just pisst because he wasn’t able to buy a G1…True Story?

  2. Same stuff he’s been pushing out of his butt about Apple for years. He’s a paid troll.

  3. This is what he does. If you’ve spent any time reading or listening to Dvorak, you know that grumpy old man is his persona and he writes about tech issues from that point of view. This isn’t new and I’d certainly not call it “vile hatred”. It’s just funny. He’s always complained about social networking sites and made fun of his closest associates who use them. To be honest, I’ve always given him a good bit of credit here- I don’t care what you had for breakfast, so why in god’s name would I subscribe to your twitter feed so I can find out. Same goes for facebook et al. Regardless, his persona and his rather large knowledge of the tech industry is why people read him. He’s a good guy, and it was a joke; don’t take him too seriously.

  4. Yeah, this is just Dvorak. Don’t take him personally. He’s actually enjoyable once you get his angle. :)

  5. Dvorak is an attention whore. He has stated before that he writes articles just to get people mad and get more attention.

    Remember, don’t feed the trolls.

  6. thanks guys for clarifying his point of view. I do understand where he is coming from. I don’t get how people can line up for days just to get an iphone that can get next week without lining up.

    I am sure my wife also wonders why I buy these phone i get tired off after a year.
    True Techs are crazy for gadgets. Does not matter in what form. I find myself reading through Secret (Iphone application) twitter. Why I don’t know.

  7. clearly mr. Dvorak doesn’t UNDERSTAND what a social networking website is, or what it’s for. Yes some people join and “befriend” everyone in the known universe. usually those people are around 14-21, I know that’s what I did on myspace until I realized I had 50 “friends” but didn’t know most of them.
    I’ve since ditched Myspace (no syndication for blogs) and took up with Facebook. The people on my face book aren’t strangers, far from it, actually. With very few exceptions (maybe a handful) they are people I’ve actually met in real life. The majority are people from college, various coworkers and bosses from old jobs, a few guys I dated(or almost dated), people from my theatre company, high school friends, and then just regular friends and family members. All in all, 107 people, all of whom I actually know. All but 2 of them I’ve actually met in real life.

  8. I never read his commentary… and I see how it can enraging, but then when other readers here posted that it was misunderstood, I get it. He’s encouraging his subject matter by talking down about them. Kind of like if your moms or whatever says, “Turn down that hippity hop music!” and then you turn it up… but that was the point the whole time!

  9. Man sounds like a total loser! um…. wow.. talk about ignorant!

  10. Rob,
    This is what we call satire. Dvorak’s chief role in life is to play the curmudgeonly writer who hates everything. The trouble is that you took it seriously. He wasn’t literally telling Android lovers to shoot themselves. He was making fun of the hysteria and hype around cell phones. I love cell phones. I’m the first one to hop on my blog and start writing about them. I’m one of the guys he was making fun of, but I still thought it was hilarious. Lighten up a little. He was just making fun of us, the cell phone fan boys. No need to overreact. It’s all meant with humor and without a hint of malice.

    Ron Miller
    By Ron Miller

  11. @Ron: I’m not naive enough to think he meant Android lovers should literally shoot themselves. The point is not only what he said but where he said it from… a podium built for him and paid for by exactly the group he is chastizing. The whole thing is just stinky and idiotic if you ask me.

  12. “Don´t feed the trolls!”
    LOL! =)
    He probably isn´t that out of touch, he just like to bitch with people.

  13. Dvorak IS THAT OUT OF TOUCH. He’s a complete idiot.

  14. Not the biggest Dvorak fan, but I have to side with him on this one. Dvorak is not an idiot. i’m willing to bet he has much more knowledge on the tech world than the author of this article. Do your research, this man knows his stuff. This is his shtick. Believe it or not, some people enjoy reading Dvorak’s opinion. He is blunt. Here he is expressing a viewpoint I’m sure many share. Im enthused about android – I’m buying my G1 this week – but I find cellphone mania bordering on ridiculous at times. Back to Dvorak, the author’s piece is much more flagrant and devoid of useful commentary than Dvorak’s column. The author misconstrued what Dvorak said and wrote something really unnecessary.

  15. Do you not read PC Magazine? I have for years. All of his columns are negative about things that a lot of people appreciate. He’s almost like a troll.

    He’s enjoyable to read, but don’t take it so seriously.

  16. He’s writing fro the wrong publication/audience. Sounds like my father-in-law who knows nothing about technology and does not want to learn about it….and thinks anyone who does is the problem.

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