Games

The mass murderer simulator is coming to Android

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Simulators are all the rage these days. There are simulators for driving fork lifts, mowing lawns, performing surgery, and even being a goat. A new game coming to Android is being called a “mass murderer simulator.” It’s called “Party Hard,” and it’s all about stopping your neighbors from having a loud party.

Here’s the plot: it’s 3 AM and your neighbors are being loud. Your job is to stealthily take them out one by one without being caught. This can be done in a number of different ways. You can be sloppy and start stabbing people, or try to set up the deaths to look like accidents. Blend in to the party and try not to kill all the guests without getting caught.

Don’t worry, the graphics aren’t too…graphic. Party Hard uses the popular 8-bit style graphics and a Clue-like top-down view of the environment. The premise is a little morbid, but it seems like a fun game. Party Hard will be coming to Android soon.

Joe Fedewa
Ever since I flipped open my first phone I've been obsessed with the devices. I've dabbled in other platforms, but Android is where I feel most at home.

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35 Comments

  1. I can’t wait for this.

      1. someone ate their sarcastic sandwich for breakfast today, didnt they? ;) haha

        1. Breakfast of effing champions! lol

  2. Spring break.

  3. I’m nowhere near a smartphone gamer, but I need this haha. And I’m sure it’s a lot tamer than Hotline Miami. What does that say about me?

  4. 8 bit crap.

    1. It’s called “pixel art.”

      1. an abbreviation for ‘I don’t have enough money or talent to develop modern graphics’.

        1. this whole debate about “best” graphics is ridiculous. I dare any of you to go back and say anything negative about the classics like:

          NBA Jam
          Street Fighter 2
          Super Mario 3
          Ninja Gaiden
          Megaman (any of them)
          Contra
          Punch-Out
          Double Dribble
          Tecmo Bowl
          Blades of Steel
          TMNT
          Double Dragon
          Battle Toads
          Streets of Rage
          Final Fight.
          I know i missed a lot this is all off the top of my head.

          Any of you young punks say anything negative about MY golden age of gaming and I’ll find you and Dropkick you in the chest.

          1. Punch Out?? Thats not a classic, that Ray Rice video is not that old dude

          2. Haha i see what you did there.

          3. haha oh and double dragon is the worst game ever created. there is a tie in your list for second, as follows:

            NBA Jam
            Street Fighter 2
            Super Mario 3
            Ninja Gaiden
            Megaman (any of them)
            Contra
            Punch-Out
            Double Dribble
            Tecmo Bowl
            Blades of Steel
            TMNT
            Battle Toads
            Streets of Rage
            Final Fight

            lol

          4. I mean Double Dragon wasn’t bad at all… It was hard as s**t though. all retro games were a test to your dedication and skill. you started with 3-7 lives and maybe… MAYBE a few continues to beat a game. you died? got start all over again from the beginning. No save points in most retro games. This New Gen are a bunch of babies. games now will ask you if you want to skip the level that you’ve died on 20 times. retro games would be like “oh you’ve died 2,782 times on this level… oh well!”

          5. dude i’m just playin haha!! I hated Contra though, I just died…and died….and diiiiied. then threw the game against the wall, still in the console! haha

          6. my bad homie lol i just know some people that say a game is bad because it’s difficult for them. then i am like no you just suck at it lol. the game i am currently playing the crap out of is The binding of Issac on my PS4 and it’s very retro styled like hotline Miami. that’s what i like about them.

          7. I didn’t say best, I said modern, that is in par with current technology.
            Most of these great old games you mentioned had modern graphics for their era.
            None of them had the graphics of “pong” (b&w lines and dots) and called this ‘pong art’ or whatever bs excuse to do subpar gfx.

          8. So with your distaste for retro styled games. can I ask how many games have you made? To state that someone must not have the funds or the skill you sure must have BOTH money and the talent to criticize another person’s creation.

            If you have 0 KNOWN games under your belt that are on par graphically with the “modern” standard…

            Then you need to drink you a nice tall glass of SHUT THE F**K UP!!!

          9. lol that’s all you got ?
            “if you can’t make one then don’t criticize” … you’re 10 or what?
            go tell that to all the game critics and game reviewers around the world then.

          10. If a game is bad then a game is bad. Your comment led me to believe you feel if a game doesn’t have modern graphics that it’s sub par…

            I see you didn’t answer my question. so I’m assuming you have made 0 games right.

            Here you go

          11. Love the keyboard tough guys. I’m sure the use of caps terrified him!

          12. First, What makes me a keyboard tough guy? Not talking about beating anyone up here. If anything I’m a smartass not a keyboard tough guy.

            Secondly, I didn’t use caps to terrify anyone. I used them to emphasize the point I made.

            Dafaq lol

    2. He would have a Call of Duty avatar too lol

      1. Excuse me n00b, its actually a Battlefield avatar.

  5. Hmmm,

  6. Hotline Miami is where it’s at. Sucks it not on Android. I was playing it on my vita, I ranged quit lol.

    1. That game would be hard as hell to play using a touchscreen. hell it’s hard with a controller. lol

  7. I am simultaneously disturbed and intrigued by such a premise. I might just have to get it…

  8. Party Hard?? Is this what Andrew WK has been up to? Andrew WK?? anyone? crickets?

  9. Please let the Age of Pixel ‘Art’ end. Again. It’s not hipster any more since everybody does it!

  10. …this is why we can’t have nice things.

  11. This looks like so much fun! Remind me never to have a loud party.

  12. And … soon to happen in real life, with the moron who does it blaming it on a video game.

  13. I will play the hell out of this if they start each game with the “killer” saying, “Tonight’s the night…”

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